Team Fortress 2 - Mann Of Conspiracy
by Lt Colonel Summers
Summary: After RED and BLU's joint forces have finally defeated Gray Mann and his robot army for good, the mercenaries are once again called back into action. Another ad-hoc, in fact. Mann Co Copycats have arisen, and are challenging Mann Co's authorities using knock-offs of the mercenaries as bargaining chips. Kicking copycat asses seemed easy for the mercs until this team came along...
1. Prologue

**Forewords**

Well, can't believe I'm actually writing a third story in my life...

And another conspiracy-themed fan-fic! In a game that has no established cannon plots!

I hope this doesn't go into hiatus like _Metal Slug: Mercenaries..._

Oh, right. Since this is already a _Team fortress 2_ fic, I'll be focusing most of my references on another work since its usually TF2 that's being focused on in other works...

* * *

**Prologue**

Time: Year 1965. Exact date unknown.

Location: Gray Mann's Carrier Base; Near Mann Co HQ.

"Give 'em hell, boys!"

"Need a Dispensah here!"

"POOT Dispenser here!"

"JARATE!"

"Dispenser Goin' up!"

Echoes of the RED and BLU Mercenaries' commands and cries bounced all around the gorge as they fought their way into the Carrier Base where the robotic Grey Team is headquartered.

RED Soldier charged into the front of the attacking group, laying down oppressive fires with his Rocket Launcher.

RED Scout ran all over the battlefield harassing the Robot Mercs by beating them up with his Baseball Bat (He would harass them even further by drinking a can of Bonk! Atomic Punch which renders him invincible for a few seconds).

RED Pyro also ran all over the place, but the masked arsonist does it by lighting all the robots on fire and Air-Blasting their rockets and grenades back as he laughed like a maniac behind that gas mask.

RED Demoman launched grenades at every direction like a drunkard (which he is at the moment), blowing up robots randomly and unpredictably. "Oh, they're gonna hafta' glue you back together... In HELL!"

RED Heavy and RED Medic tag-teamed at the moment, the former mowing down robots with his Minigun, while the latter healed the Heavy with his Medigun.

RED Engineer decided to turtle in a blind spot of the Carrier Base, in which his Level 3 Sentry Gun will easily mow down any Robot Mercs that passed by. Even after a while, even the Robot Spies still doesn't notice him.

RED Spy is of course gone to do what he's best at, and RED Sniper was so well hidden even his teammate isn't sure where he is firing from at the moment.

"Attack!" RED Soldier barked an order, and a flood of BLU Team mercenaries proceed to swarm the Robot Mercs. The BLUs did the same thing as their RED counterpart, but are much worse at their job, being killed off quickly before getting blown up by an approaching Giant Charged Soldier. "You idiots! Gray will send each and every one of you home to your mommas in boxes!" Lectured RED Soldier angrily, as he begins to pepper the Giant Charged Soldier with rockets.

"Yo, incomin'!" RED Scout launched a single baseball at the head of the Giant Charged Soldier, stunning it on hit.

RED Pyro rushed toward the still-stunned GCS, spraying flames at it crazily like he was supposed to, lighting it on fire.

RED Demoman took this chance to unload all the Sticky Bombs he has at the feet of the GCS. And then with the press of a button, "Ka-bewm!" the Sticky Trap launched the giant robot into the air, still stunned.

"It is good day to kill giant baby robot!" RED Heavy aimed his Minigun at the airborne GCS and fired a barrage of bullets at it. Helps that the RED Medic deployed an Ubercharge at the same time, rendering both of them immune to the Robot Mercs' attacks for a while.

Despite all the punishments it received, the Giant Charged Soldier landed in front of the entrance of the Carrier Base still functioning, albeit barely.

_"Ha! You puny meat maggots will never put a dent in my hu..." _The giant robot chose to stupidly waste the attack opportunity by flipping off the human mercs, complete with both hands flipping middle-fingers, but was interrupted mid-flipping by a headshot courtesy of the RED Sniper from all the way back at Mann Co HQ.

"Thanks for standing still, wanker!"

Just as the human mercenaries are about to make their charge into the Carrier Base itself, a lone Robot Scout suddenly ran out, yelling at the top of its simulated respiratory system while swinging its Baseball Bat in a way that would've made even the Pyro look sane in comparison...

...Until a Sapper is suddenly placed on its back, causing it to freeze in place.

"Leetle baby robot..." The Red Heavy deadpanned about the situation, and proceeds to Quick Draw the heck out of that Robot Scout, killing it outright.

The REDs and BLUs stood their ground to make sure there weren't any more robots coming out to attack them. There weren't...

Instead, it was the creator of the robots - Gray Mann himself, coming out of his hiding place to greet the human mercenaries like a true villain.

"I must say, gentlemen..." The evil mastermind congratulates with an evil tone. "I am quite surprised that you all made it this far..."

The REDs and BLUs weren't really listening. They all aimed their guns at Gray, and fired.

"You've said enough, you who are worshipped by scrap metals!" RED Soldier taunted at the same time he fired his Rocket Launcher.

Gray Mann didn't flinch one bit when he saw the barrage of projectiles coming toward him.

Instead of hitting him, the projectiles all bounced off what looked like the force field of a Wrangler-controlled Sentry, and killed a large number of BLU mercenaries.

It took the RED Engineer to stop the other mercenaries' attacks. "Hold yer horses, fellas! Ah' think he's got some kind of shield!"

RED Soldier was oblivious to the calling until he had to dodge one of his own rockets.

"...Using the same old strategy you lot have been using for the past nine years..." Gray Mann continued. "Don't you think its time to ring out the old..."

As that is said, a Tank Robot suddenly appeared behind Gray. Unlike the other variations, this one has several guns attached to it.

"...And ring in the new?" Gray continued again, as a pair of slender, robotic arm grabbed him gently and put him down in what looked like the driver's seat. "How does a battle tank sounds like, folks?"

The human mercenaries all stood there, frozen in fear as they watched Gray's Tank pointing its cannons at them.

"Freakin' unbelievable!" RED Scout exclaimed at the sudden unfair turn-of-situation.

Gray's Tank fired the cannons once, and the ensuing explosion destroyed RED Engineer's Sentry nest and killed the Texan before he can even shout "Sentry down!"

"Give him hell, boys!" RED Soldier commanded several BLU Soldiers to all fire on Gray's Tank with their weapons, all dealing little damage to the massive vehicle.

Gray fired a single shot from the Tank, and the entire group of BLU Soldiers was promptly exploded into gibs. "Dammit!" RED Soldier narrowly avoids being killed by the shot, only to be later squashed under the Tank when Gray drives it over him.

"Ah, crap..." RED Scout frowned upon seeing the armed Tank that is being driven by Gray, and turned around in an attempt to escape. Shots from the Tank's cannons exploded behind him as he makes his getaway.

RED Pyro attempted to face Gray's Tank like a boss, but too bad for the masked mercenary that its cannons are immune to airblasts, and he gets blown to bits for his efforts.

RED Heavy and RED Medic, the latter of whom have yet to build up another Ubercharge are scarred stiff when they see Gray's Tank aiming at them.

"Tell me, doctor, how can this go so wrong?" RED Heavy asked RED Medic.

"I HAVE NO IDEA!" RED Medic answered casually in the face of danger.

"You're precious Sandvich won't save you now, fat man!" Gray taunted the Heavy from inside his Tank.

RED Heavy did not back away, instead he lifted Sasha the Minigun up, and stared down the occupant of that Tank while firing his Minigun at it. "You. Yes, YOU! YOU ARE DEAD!" Bullet after bullet are fired at the Tank, and all of them did little damage to it.

Strangely enough, Gray did not use the opportunity to blow the Heavy right away, despite the massive Russian being not Ubercharged at the moment.

The other mercenaries also wondered why didn't the builder of robots just finished off RED Heavy despite the opportunity.

RED Sniper aimed his Sniper Rifle at Gray's Tank, and found out why it didn't fire.

Turns out someone placed a Sapper on the Tank, in a spot where Gray wouldn't be able to see it from the driver's compartment.

"Fire!" Gray shouted furiously from inside the Tank. "I said FIRE! What's wrong with this piece of junk?!"

The RED Spy uncloaks in font of Gray's Tank, brandishing the Dead Ringer, Enforcer and Spycicle.

"Gentlemen..." The Frenchman announced to his teammates. "My apologies for being late. I appear to have been given a taste of my own medicine by my robotic counterpart..." He drops the decapitated head of a Robot Spy, which then rolls down the hill toward the feet of the RED Heavy.

RED Scout had to suddenly come in and ruin the moment. "Could've saved us sooner, chucklenuts!"

RED Heavy knocked RED Scout away with an offhand punch.

"Spy is credit to team!" RED Heavy gave RED Spy a thumbs up.

"Thank you..." RED Spy replies kindly. He then reminds the entire team of something. "Gentlemen, shouldn't there be something that we all need to do?"

All the RED and BLU mercenaries remembered, right at the same time RED Soldier hastily made his way back from Respawn.

"Our Spy is right! We all have some business left to settle with Gray!" RED Soldier shouted. "Let's give him all the hell we have, boys!"

Gray Man drew his attention away from the still-Sapped Tank too late to see the human mercenaries ganging up on him.

"I knew I should have made all the robots as smart as I am..." Gray deadpanned...

...Right as all the mercenaries fired their weapons all at once at him. Soldiers with their Rocket Launchers, Demomen with their Grenade Launchers, Pyros with their Flare Guns, Ubercharged Heavies with their Miniguns, Engineers with their Wrangled Sentries, and Huntsman Snipers with their arrows.

"I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE!" Gray shouted once more, right as the combined barrage of projectiles created a big enough explosion that it blew the Tank along with Gray Mann in it off the ground into the skies.

...

_"Move it!"_

A group of Mecha Engineers rushed in from the Carrier Base to assist their boss in fighting the REDs and BLUs. But he was nowhere to be seen. Instead, the Mecha Engineers found themselves face-to-face with a mob of human mercenaries.

The Mecha Engineers were confused for a moment, until they looked at the skies, and saw the flaming wreckage of a Tank Robot coming down toward them.

The Mecha Engineers stepped out of the way, but one of them didn't, and got squashed under it instantly.

It is then that the remaining Mecha Engineers noticed the severed arm of Gray Mann himself from amongst the burning wreckage of the Tank Robot.

The Mecha Engineers allowed the fact to sink in for a while, before they turned back toward the Carrier Base and ran toward it like cowards in Humiliation Mode. _"Fall back! Fall back!"_

The human mercenaries gave the Mecha Engineers no opportunity to escape. Firing their weapons, they managed to down all but one of the escaping robots, with the last one getting a Bazaar Bargain headshot right before getting out of attack range.

With no robots left to kill, the REDs and BLUs dropped their weapons, and awaited the word they were hoping to hear.

_"It's over! Congratulations, team! You have officially defeated Gray Mann and his robot armies!"_ Came the Administrator's voice from one of the Megaphones in Mann Co HQ. Not the words they were looking for, but the REDs and BLUs cheered loudly anyway when they heard it.

"We did it!" RED Scout shouted happily. "Take that, metal heads... oh wait, wrong game! Ah, forget it..."

"Each and every one of you deserves ten medals!" RED Soldier congratulated everyone... On his team, anyway. "But not you BLU scumbags!"

_"Oh, and I was going to give him a taste of my own BARE DAMN HANDS myself, mates!"_ Came the voice of Mann Co CEO - Saxton Hale himself - from the nearest Megaphone.

"POW! HAHA!" RED Heavy Quick Draw'd the same Megaphone in response, destroying it in one hit. "Hale may be giant adult man, but he is noisier than an entire team of leetle babies!" The Russian gave an offhand comment.

"Jawohl..." RED Medic answers the Heavy, before suddenly going "OKTOBERFEST!"

RED Engineer, who had only just came back from Respawn, didn't frown upon the fact that he just missed the delivering of Gray Mann's mortem. Instead, the Texan slowly walked toward RED Soldier, and patted him on the shoulders. "Now that's how ye'all make bacon with a scumbag!" He quips. "A scumbag like Gray Mann!"

RED Soldier did not resist the patting. He patted the Engineer back. "Nice one-liner, Engie. Nice one-liner..."

...

Meanwhile, as the other mercenaries celebrated their victory, RED Pyro went searching for RED Demoman, and found the latter sleeping under a rocky outcrop, with a (somehow still full) bottle of scrumpy in one hand.

"Mmph Mmph..." RED Pyro face-palmed upon seeing that scene.

"Pyro..." Said a voice from behind.

RED Pyro isn't surprised one bit. He turned around, and found the RED Spy.

"Don't be on your own. Come, let us celebrate with the others..."

"Mmph Mmph?"

"Let that drunk Scotsman be. We all know how he's like..."

...

That night, everyone at Mann Co celebrated...

* * *

**Afterwords**

Done it: the Prologue chapter of a new series, which I will name _Mann Of Conspiracy_.

Yep, Gray Mann and the Robots have been defeated for good in this action prologue. Time for a new villain to take their place. We hope...

And like the title said, this story will be chock-full of conspiracies, much like how the on-going _Fantasy Blitzkrieg_ and on-hiatus _Metal Slug: Mercenaries_ are going to be. And full of references too...

Shout-out index:

"Take that, metal heads... Oh wait, wrong game..." - Yes, Scout. This isn't _Jak And Daxter_ we're talking about. Good for you that you remembered on your own.

That's it, then. Look forward into a brand new frontier in Fanfic-writing, and hopefully not a hiatus!

That is all. _"Need a punchline here..."_


	2. Chapter 1: Back To War

**Forewords**

I sure hope this doesn't get put on hiatus like _Metal Slug: Mercenaries_ did. Updates on my other stories were very slow because I already have the entire plot of _Fantasy Blitzkrieg_ planned.

Oh, and forgot to do this in the prologue...

_Team Fortress 2_ and related contents are property of Valve Software and Gabe Newell. Otherwise, I own everything else used in this work.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Back To War**

Time: Year 1941. Exact date unknown.

Location: Kuantan, Malaysia.

_Shots were exchanged between British machine gun nests and Japanese riflemen in the middle of a jungle in the Malaysian state of Kuantan. For the local Malaysians whom have lived their past decade under Japanese oppression and tyranny, this is everyday life in World War 2. But for the British and Japanese soldiers, this specific gunfight is a race for valuable property that could turn the tides of the war._

_In fact, this gunfight got so bad that the United States sent troops to support the British. The Allies cannot allow Imperial Japan to win this gunfight, but they themselves mustn't lose either._

_"Give 'em hell, boys!" Soldier lead a squadron of American commandos into the frontlines. "The Rising Sun must not lay their hands on the Australium cache!" He continuously barked at his comrades._

_Soldier's squad gunned down Japanese soldiers, and retook captured machine gun nests for their British allies wherever they passed._

_Despite the odds being obviously not in their favor, the Japanese continued to march their forces through the jungles of Kuantan, showing no signs of retreat or demoralization._

_"Their code of honor says that retreat is under every circumstances synonymous with shame and we're gonna change it so that not retreating is even more shameful!" Soldier shouted at his squad again._

_It is then that Soldier noticed a particular commando from his squad rushing straight into the frontlines without proper planning._

_Unlike with his other squad mates, Soldier almost have fear drawn on his face when he sees this commando charging right into danger. "Wait, Carla! Stop!"_

_The commando, who turns out to be a woman, stopped and turned toward Soldier._

_Soldier closed in on the woman commando. "Carla! I told you to go to France and fight the Germans, but now you're in Malaysia fighting the Japanese!"_

_Carla's response was "The Nazis were a bunch of weaklings, and so were the Fascists. I wanted to fight with you, uncle!"_

_Mortars begins to strike the British troops and their American reinforcements, courtesy of the Japanese army._

_"Imperial Japan is a whole different league than Nazi Germany, and Fascist Italy, and even the Soviet Union!" Soldier angrily replied to Carla. "The Germans, Italians and Russians at least know when to be afraid! For the Japanese, fear doesn't even exist in their dictionary!"_

_"But..." Carla attempted to contradict her uncle, but wasn't able to, because a Japanese mortar struck in between the woman commando and Soldier. The explosion threw them away from each other, and several feet off the muddy ground._

_"CARRRRRLAAAAAA!" Soldier screamed at the sight in horror..._

_..._

...And then he woke up in his bunk bed at Mann Co Mexico Facility, with his entire body covered in cold sweat.

Soldier took a deep breath, and reassured himself that everything he saw just now was all just a dream. The event has already happen, and he cannot change it no matter what.

Soldier scanned the room he's currently in. Around the room, the other RED Team mercenaries of Mann Co slept in their respective bunk beds. Of particular note is that Scout's snores sounded an awful lot like the word "Bonk", and Heavy was hugging his Minigun, Sasha, at the same time.

Seeing that his newest squad (if you can call several decades in service new) are okay, Soldier laid back down on his bunk bed. "Tomorrow will be a big day." He told himself before he started to snore.

Near the Soldier's bunk bed is an analog counter labeled "Years since the defeat of Gray Mann", with the analogs displaying the number "50".

...

Time: 0930 Hour; 26th of June, 2015.

Location: 2Fort.

It has been 50 years since the REDs and BLUs defeated Gray Mann and destroyed his Carrier Base for good...

The Reliable Excavation and Demolition team, or REDs as they were called, have been promoted to help Mann Co HQ settle disputes. Which means that they are now fighting other companies instead of their former rivals the BLUs.

In order to lighten their workload and bolster Mann Co's victory counts, the REDs has agreed to a truce with the Builder's League United, or BLUs.

This time, their mission is to end a massive copyrighting-fest, in which mega corporations from all over the world challenges Mann Co's economic authority by attacking them with plagiarized versions of the RED and BLU mercenaries. The international conflict started around the year 2001, and isn't showing any signs of stopping.

To make it worse, the REDs were getting too old, and their careers were threatened with retirement. To counteract this, Mann Co HQ has given advanced portable and battery-powered (not Australium-powered as Saxton Hale finally found a way around the diminishing Australium supply) versions of Redmond and Blutarch Mann's Life Extenders to keep them capable of frontline combat. The mercenaries were also given brand new weapons for the fight against the corporations' plagiarized teams, called Copycats.

Using their newfound strength, the REDs went on and put an end to all of the Copycats that challenged Mann Co. These Copycats' mother companies were bankrupted by their defeat, and had no choice but to oblige by their request, which states that the losing company shall be absorbed by the winning company.

Over the fourteen years that has elapsed, companies across the world were taken over by Mann Co as a result of losing the challenge, which got so out of hand that it became known as the Copycat Wars.

Mann Co is very confident of their current status on global economics, and their victory against the Copycats. But soon they will lose all their years of achievements and property in matters of minutes...

...

The RED team gathered in their Spawn Room in 2Fort, preparing for their 12345th battle against the Copycats (some companies cheated by sending multiple teams of Copycats at them, or sending the same team multiple times, or even using fake business licenses to avoid being absorbed into Mann CO).

_"Attention, RED Team!"_ The voice of The Administrator emerged from megaphones, and echoed all over the 2Fort zone. _"Your opponent this time is the GRN Team, who challenged us to a game of Capture The Point. Do not disappoint me..."_

Before the real battle even starts, a GRN Scout decided to stand in front of the gate of the Respawn Room (RED Team was assigned either the role of offense or defense for the Copycat Wars) and continuously whack it with his aluminum Baseball Bat to annoy the RED Team. "Bonk! Bonk! Bonk!"

RED Pyro decides to take out the annoyance by walking up to the gate, and perform the Hadoken Taunt, blowing the GRN Scout into gibs.

"Yeah, that's right!" RED Scout taunted the dead GRN Scout verbally. "Annoying the opponent before a game starts is against the rules! You deserves to be blown up!"

_"Mission begins in ten seconds!"_ The Administrator's voice flared through the megaphone, indicating that the match is about to start.

"Bring it!" RED Scout said with excitement.

"It iz good day to be giant man!" So did RED Heavy.

_"Five, four, three, two, one..."_

As soon as the countdown ends, the gate of the RED Spawn Room opened, and RED Pyro rushed ahead of his teammates, brandishing his Flare Gun like a maniac...

...Only to immediately take a headshot and drop dead.

"Enemy Sniper on their roof!" RED Sniper called out to the RED Team, as he tries to gun down the GRN Sniper directly across.

Both Snipers fired shots at each other, and the duel took a while until RED Sniper manages to gun down GRN Sniper with a body shot.

"Take that, wanker!" RED Sniper taunts his GRN counterpart who then falls off the roof of the GRN fort and directly over the entrance of the same building.

Immediately after the Sniper duel ends, a GRN Heavy appeared from the entrance of the GRN fort alongside a GRN Medic who announces "I am fully charged!". Said enemy proceeds to deploy his Ubercharge on said enemy Heavy.

"Doctor!" RED Heavy turned toward RED Medic as they both left the Spawn Room and comes face-to-face with the Ubercharged GRN Medic-Heavy combo. "You know what to do!"

"Jawohl!" RED Medic responds, and proceeds to deploy the Ubercharge on RED Heavy.

"I am bulletproof!" RED Heavy announces hammily. "Run, coward!" He taunts the GRN Heavy.

The GRN Heavy and GRN Medic did not retreat. Instead, they charged themselves toward the RED fort, with the GRN Heavy firing his Minigun at the same time.

RED Heavy and RED Medic does the exact same thing.

The two opposing sides clashed on for a while with the body count continuously piling up, and shots being fired endlessly...

...

Thirty minutes later...

_"Victory!"_ The Administrator announced the moment the entire RED Team, standing on the Control Point while surrounded by a pile of GRN mercenary corpses, captures it. The announcement is followed by a series of applauding crowds.

_"Good job, RED!"_ The voice of Saxton Hale replaced the Administrator's. _"Thanks to your impressive efforts, Valve is now officially a part of Mann Co. Here, have an eagle."_

"That's right! That fatman from Valve should've stayed in his office working on _Episode Three_ instead of plagiarizing and challenging us!" RED Scout said.

"It went so fast that we don't even need BLU reinforcements! ...If you consider half an hour fast, that is..." RED Soldier adds in. "All of you deserves a medal... wait, scratch that. We don't have enough room for new medals."

"Mmph mmph!" RED Pyro congrats with a thumb-up, in unintelligible dialogue as per usual.

"Aw, they're going to need more glue to put themselves back together... IN HELL!" RED Demoman announces like a drunk... if he weren't drunk from drinking an entire bottle of scrumpy in one gulp already.

"Everyone is credit to team!" RED Heavy congratulates the entire team, and then the massive Russian proceeds to eat his Sandvich happily.

"Guess we got the victor's touch..." RED Engineer chimes in with his own quote.

"That's their own fault for standing still, mates!" RED Sniper comments on the victory.

"I never really was on their side..." RED Spy also comments.

RED Medic, however, chose to stay silent, having no idea on what to say.

The RED Team's cheering is eventually disturbed by the Administrator.

_"Attention, everyone! Our next challenger has just arrived, and challenged us to a game of Deathmatch! Return to base and prepare yourselves!"_

The RED mercenaries turned toward each other, and smiled. With that, they returned to their Spawn Room, waiting for the next game to begin.

...

Location: RED Spawn Room, 2Fort.

"Deathmatch!" RED Scout said excitedly. "Very few actually challenged us at that!"

"That's right!" RED Soldier crunched his neck at the same time. "We're the experts at Deathmatch! The last one to challenge us at it was from ten years ago!"

As the timer begins counting down, the RED Team is getting excited to hand their opponent their own butts in pieces.

But something caught the RED Spy's attention. "That is strange. We were on Offense this time, yet the enemies who were on Defense have not sent anyone to stand-by at our doorstep..."

RED Heavy gave the Frenchman an assuring pat on the shoulder. "Entire enemy team is baby cowards!"

_"Attention, RED Team!"_ The Administrator interrupted with an announcement. _"Your opponent this time is the NEW Team, who challenged us to a game of Deathmatch! Do not disappoint me..."_

"NEW?" RED Engineer became suspicious with the name. "We haven't heard that kind of team name before..."

"Relax, this is the Copycat Wars." RED Soldier reassured his team. "Even if they have a completely original name, their team members are still plagiarized versions of us!"

RED Engineer let that sinks in for a while, then he replies. "Maybe you're right, partner..."

With nothing more to say, the RED mercenaries stood by in their Spawn Room, and prepared themselves for the game.

_"Five, four, three, two, one..."_

The gate opens as soon as the countdown ends, and the RED mercenaries except RED Sniper charged forward.

"Give 'em hell, boys!" RED Soldier barked at his team as he leads the charge into the center of the 2Fort zone...

...Only for the entire team to arrive there with not a single enemy mercenary in sight.

"Hey! Where's this supposed NEW Team?!" RED Scout was already impatient.

RED Sniper stood at his usual sniping spot, scanning the enemy fort with the scope of his Sniper Rifle for any signs of the enemies. "Not a single wanker in sight..."

Something moving in the shadows of the enemy fort corridors caught RED Sniper's attention.

"Eh? Thought I saw someone in black darting through there..."

...

"There you are...

...The so-called heroes of Mann Co...

...It is time that your workplace comes under my complete control.

Go, NEW Team!

Win this game in whichever method you prefer!

Afterwards, I will reward you nicely...

Hm hm hm hm...

Hm hm hm hm...

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

AND SOON WE SHALL HAVE THE WHOLE WORLD!"

* * *

**Afterwords**

The first paragraph wasn't made up. Well, most of it weren't. During World War 2, Imperial Japan invaded British-occupied Malaysia and other Southeast Asian countries (actually, the entirety of East Asia), and massacred the Chinese population much like the Nazis did with Europe and Jews. Malaysia and The Philippines have already forgiven Japan, but it seems that South Korea still holds a grudge against them, whereas North Korea appears to be still trying to exact revenge...

However, there's something else you may have noticed in that flashback. See how it is described that the Japanese and British are competing for a cache of Australium, that has somehow ended up in Malaysia? It's going to be part of the story's conspiracies, and it will be explained later in the story.

Yep, this story will take place in the year 2015, approximately 50 years after the events of the games. As explained, the RED mercenaries are given Life Extenders so they can keep on fighting for Mann Co.

And yes, I know that GRN Team is a team of Freaks, and GRN is an acronym for something. I just can't remember what GRN stood for.

Shout-out index:

"...That fatman from Valve should've stayed in his office working on _Episode Three_..." - More like a Take That to Valve Software and Gabe(N) for not releasing _Episode Three_ on time. This is even parodied in my other work - _Fantasy Blitzkrieg_ \- where Gabe Newell still hasn't released the game even a century later in the 22nd century (He also happens to be a robot in that story).

That is all. _"Poot punchline here..."_


	3. Chapter 2: And Now For Something Complet

**Forewords**

Warning!

Unlike other _Team Fortress 2_ fan fics, _Mann Of Conspiracy_ takes the main theme of its storyline very seriously.

If you're here looking for funny material, you've came to the wrong place. Turn back before you regret it!

And yes, I know 2Fort is a Capture The Flag map. I've repurposed it in this fic so that it can be used for any game mode except Mann Versus Machine.

* * *

**Chapter 2: And Now For Something Completely Different**

Time: 1000 Hour; 26th of June, 2015.

Location: 2Fort.

The plan... or rather, what was going to be planned, involved Sniper gunning down whoever comes out of the enemy base as a head start, with Engineer building a Sentry Nest in a blind spot of the fort exterior to ambush any enemies that Sniper missed.

However, that plan was ruined when Scout and Pyro decided to charge headfirst into the enemy base. The two RED mercenaries have made their way into the Intel Room without encountering any enemy mercenaries. Of course, since the ongoing game is Deathmatch, the Intelligence Briefcase is nowhere to be seen.

"This sucks on ice!" Scout complained about the apparent lack of challenges.

"Mmph mmph mmph mmph..." Pyro told the Bostonian.

"They're probably afraid of our prowess!" Scout let his Baseball Bat hang by his shoulders, and turned around. "Come on, let's wait up until time's u..."

"Mmph!" Pyro "shouted" at Scout suddenly, causing the Bostonian to stop abruptly in his steps.

"Geez! What was that all abou..." Scout chastised Pyro, only for the masked arsonist to interrupt him with a hand gesture.

Using the pilot light of his Flamethrower as a light source, Pyro lit up the suddenly darkened corridor to reveal that several Semtex bombs had appeared out of nowhere when they weren't looking at the corridor.

"Where the hell did these come from?!" Scout exclaimed in surprise. He took several steps back in reflex...

...And suddenly hears a mechanical click where he lands his last step.

Sweating like there's no tomorrow, Scout and Pyro looked down to see what caused that click.

It's a small device with a big red button on it.

Following the click, all the Semtex Charges became active and started beeping.

"Ah, cra..." Scout could only utter in fear in anticipation of what comes next...

...

BOOM!

An explosion erupted from within the depths of the enemy spawn, catching the RED Team by surprise.

"Holy doolie!" Sniper exclaimed loudly upon seeing the fireball of the explosion erupting from the main entrance of the enemy fort.

_NEW Arsonist blew up RED Scout and RED Pyro with Semtex Charges._

"We're down two people, boys!" Soldier told the others. "Let's make sure we kill 'em all with at least one person left on our team! This is a Deathmatch, no Respawns are permitted!"

That being said, all the RED mercenaries save for Soldier and Sniper charged headlong into the enemy's fort.

"MAGGOTS!" Soldier cursed loudly in disappointment. "Sniper, you stay here and cover us, but watch your back as well." Saying that, he equipped the Rocket Jumper and rocket-jumped onto the roof of the enemy fort.

Sniper was left dumbfounded as he watched the WW2 veteran leaving the scene. "Bloody whackjob..." The Australian deadpanned.

...

Demoman - donning the Eyelander, Chargin' Targe and Ali Baba's Wee Booties - slammed face-first into a wall when he failed to negotiate a sharp turn. Good thing he's too drunk to feel it.

"Ay... good thing I'm indestructible, lad..." The black Scottish Cyclops told himself with a drunken slur.

Demoman proceed to remove himself from the face-plant, and gets back with Demoknighting.

He stopped mid-charge when he enters the Intel Room, where only a lamp on the table illuminated the dim room. The lights from said lamp may be dim, but it was still bright enough that Demoman can see bloodied pieces of the RED Scout and RED Pyro on the floor.

"Not me this time..." Demoman said as he kicked the severed head of Pyro aside.

At the same time as the kick, something scuttled through the air vents quickly.

Demoman may be drunk at the moment, but he's at least still sober enough to tell that only a human can make that sound.

"Ay, this gives me the creeps..." The black Scottish Cyclops said. "Like that horror movie, _Alien_..."

More scuttling is heard, this time from an indeterminate location nearby.

"Eh, I don't want ta glue myself back together in hell." Demoman told himself, with goose bumps all over his body.

A third set of scuttling, this one is from _behind_ the black Scottish Cyclops.

"Ha!" Demoman quickly turned around, and charged toward a figure-in-black whom he assumed is the origin of the scuttling.

The figure still made no attempt to defend or attack, while Demoman raised the Eyelander up, prepping for a vertical slice as he charged toward his latest prey.

Upon getting close to his target, Demoman brought his sword down mid-charged, and the sound of human flesh being sliced is heard clearly...

...Followed by Demoman's head detaching from his shoulders and falling onto the floor. The Eyelander also appears to be sliced in half.

_NEW Ninja decapitated RED Demoman with Katana._

...

Heavy and Medic decided to ambush the enemy using their favorite method: sneaking into the enemy base via the sewers.

However, unlike the usual times, there weren't any enemies waiting for them in the sewers this time around. Not even Engineers or Spies.

"Little baby men..." Heavy said with a creepy smile. The massive Russian ran ahead with Sasha the Minigun in his hands, while yelling "YEEEAAAAA!"

He kept running and running and running until he left the sewers and entered the basement of the enemy fort...

...And notices that Medic seems to have fallen behind.

Heavy turned around, and yelled, "Doctor! Move!"

No response.

"DOCTOR!"

Still no response.

"Tell me, how did this go so wrong?" Heavy asked Sasha (not expecting a response, of course) before he backtracked into the sewers...

...Only to immediately slams face-first into something made of stone that wasn't there earlier.

"WHO POOT STATUE HERE?!" The massive Russian shouted angrily while rubbing his nose. When he looked up, his expression is replaced with that of a man filled with fear.

The statue is that of Medic, the German doctor's expression petrified in horror, literally. The only part of Medic that wasn't literally turned to stone is the Medigun.

Seeing how the Medic is just turned to stone like that, Heavy hoisted his Minigun, and aimed it around him. "I AM NOT AFRAID OF LITTLE BABY MEN!"

Something landed behind Heavy, causing a splashing sound and a puddle to spread all over the flooded sewers.

Heavy immediately turns around, and fired the Minigun at where the sound came from. He kept on firing the weapon non-stop until it ran out of ammo and started clicking.

"Oh, this is bad!" The massive Russian exclaimed.

Hearing the sound of footsteps in water approaching him from behind once again, Heavy slowly turned around, goosebumps appearing all over his body...

"Argh!" Heavy let out a loud scream of fear right before he is somehow turned into a bare skeleton that immediately falls apart and turns to ash.

The bone ash of what was once the Heavy Weapons Guy, mixed with the sewer waters, flowed past a pair of feet wearing jet black Mary Jane shoes and socks.

"I am no man..."

_NEW Alchemist petrified RED Medic with Curse Of Stone taunt._

_NEW Mage ended the life of RED Heavy with Magic Wand._

...

Engineer has built a Sentry Nest with a Level 3 Sentry right next to the main entrance of the enemy fort, hoping to surprise the enemy mercenaries with a face full of Sentry Gun bullets.

But, several minutes has passed, and still, nobody came out of the main entrance.

"That just ain't right..." Engineer muttered out of boredom, and the Texan decides to pass the time by building a Dispenser...

...Only to find out that he doesn't have enough metal to even begin construction.

"Darn..." Engineer cursed about this. Usually he would've built a Dispenser first, but this time he built the Sentry first, and spent all his metals upgrading it because he is confident that the RED Team will beat this so-called NEW Team.

Groaning under his breath, Engineer left the Sentry Nest behind, and headed back into the RED fort in search for an ammo box.

One minute later, after having collected metals from a large ammo box, Engineer came out of the RED fort...

...To find that the Level 3 Sentry Gun has been utterly beaten into something less than scrap. What's worse is that there were no Sappers in the mix of mangled metals, which meant that it isn't an enemy Spy's handiwork.

Engineer turned toward the Sniper who is still standing guard on the roof with the Sniper Rifle aimed at the enemy fort. "Sniper! Did'ja see who destroyed mah Sentry?"

"I did see someone beating it like a punching bag, mate. But he got away before I could shoot him." The Australian told the Texan.

"Grr... Guess Ah have no choice..." Engineer muttered under his breath again. He starts walking toward where his Sentry Nest used to be...

...But stopped when he felt something tugging his feet.

Engineer looked down, and saw that, indeed, there is a pair of human hands grabbing his feet.

"Ah'm gonna get laid ou... YEARH!" The Texan couldn't even finish his sentence before the pair of hands dragged him into the waters.

Sniper, who watched the events unfold, could only gasp in shock when the Engineer's hard hat floated onto the surface with the Texan himself nowhere in sight.

"Holy doolie!"

_NEW Sailor tried to teach RED Engineer swimming lessons aggressively._

...

Spy went with his usual plan of looking around the enemy fort while cloaked, so that he can backstab unsuspecting enemy Snipers or Heavies, or place Sappers on a Sentry Nest, or even stand by at a Teleporter Exit to ambush enemies.

This time, however, the hallways are completely void of enemies. Not even a single Pyro can be seen patrolling the fort.

"Come on! I don't have time for this!" The Frenchman hung a lamp on the complete absence of viable targets and dangerous foes.

As if fate wanted to contradict him, Spy was suddenly greeted by the sounds of a Wrench whacking a building echoing through the corridors.

Displaying an evil smile on his lips, the Frenchman readies the Ambassador revolver, and slowly trailed the sound to its origins.

The source of the sound isn't very far away. In fact, it was just around three corners, of which Spy has crossed two.

Laughing silently, the Frenchman reactivated his cloak, held a Sapper in one hand, and slowly approached the whoever was upgrading or repairing his building at the moment. Spy could not see the enemy Sentry Nest because it is set in a pitch black corner, but it didn't matter to him. He inched closer, and close to the unsuspecting enemy, ready to deploy a Sapper...

...Until his cloak mysteriously deactivated itself.

Confused with this automatic de-cloaking, Spy checked the Invisi-Watch to see what's wrong. What's wrong is that the cloak meter still has 80% left on the timer. Even stranger, the cloak won't reactivate no matter what the Frenchman does.

Spy was getting frantic to put on his cloak again before the enemy sees him. But he stopped all actions upon hearing the sounds of electricity crackling in the air nearby. And its coming from the direction of the enemy Sentry Nest.

"Oh, no..."

Several bolts of electricity emerged from the pitch black corner where the enemy Sentry Nest is, and zapped Spy for several seconds - with the Frenchman screaming in agonizing pain - before the bolts stopped, and he fell on the floor as a lifeless corpse.

_NEW Recon's Mini Tesla electrocuted the life out of RED Spy._

...

"Ah, piss..."

Sniper, having waited for a long time and still not have any enemies to shoot at, said in boredom.

Although the Australian gunman's boredom came to a halt when he saw a figure - a different one than what he saw near the beginning of the match - darting through the roof of the enemy fort.

Seeing a target of opportunity, Sniper took aim with the Sniper Rifle, and tries to line up the scope with the enemy's head. Though he is having a hard time doing so due to how fast the target is.

"Bloody whackjob. Just when there's something for me to shoot at..." The Australian gunman cursed under his breath, while he continues his struggle to line up a clear shot.

His aim was thrown off when something attached itself to the scope, blocking his view.

Sniper inspected what was the thing that was attached itself to the aiming scope. It appears to be a Signal Flare.

Confused about why he was shot at with a harmless Signal Flare, Sniper stood there thinking of the true purpose of this act... "What in the wor..."

...Before he took a super heavy blow to the back of his head, and fell off the roof as a dead corpse.

_NEW Recon assisted NEW Musician in caving in RED Sniper's cranium with Weighted Violin._

...

_"Sudden death!"_

The Administrator calling out those two words is a good hint that, in a Deathmatch game, either one of the team are now down to one last unit.

The Soldier normally would've assumed that his team is about to win. But this time, his instinct tells him that his team is going to _lose_ instead.

"I have a very bad feeling about this..." It doesn't help the WW2 veteran that he spent all his Shotgun ammo checking the enemy fort for Sentry Nests and Spies, and neither proved to be the case, as he has yet to deal even one point of damage. The Rocket Jumper, of course, cannot do any damage, so he hasn't used it much aside from the Rocket-Jump near the beginning of the game.

Soldier then decides that it is better safe than sorry, as he turns around and leaves the enemy fort from the same place he entered from.

His trip back to the RED Spawn goes uninterrupted. At least, until his legs got mysteriously paralyzed while he's crossing the center bridge.

"This definitely can't be good." Soldier became worried, seeing how he's the only member of RED Team that hasn't been killed by this NEW Team.

Someone dropped down from the roof of the center bridge and landed several feet away in front of Soldier.

"No..." Soldier, unable to move his feet, said worriedly. He attempted to equip the Rocket Jumper to at least shove the oncoming enemy away from him for as long as possible.

However, the WW2 veteran finds that his hands are also unresponsive. Now he's a sitting duck to whoever's in front of him.

The person in front points what appears to be an Assault Rifle at the direction of Soldier, and seemingly flicks the safety off and cocks it simultaneously...

Soldier could only watch helplessly as he saw the person pulling the trigger of the Assault Rifle, emptying about fifty bullets, with all fifty rounds hitting him dead center.

The combined kinetic energy from the automatic fire knocked Soldier off his feet.

"No... Not again..." Soldier struggled to speak, before he passed out from blood loss. Moments before closing his eyes, the WW2 veteran saw the same gunman that killed him, and eight other people walking toward him and surrounds him from all direction. These must be the NEW Team mercenaries, but just who are they?"

_NEW Inflictor assisted NEW Striker in gunning down RED Soldier with Assault Rifle._

...

_"Flawless... DEFEAT!"_

The Administrator's angry voice echoed through 2Fort when the last member of the RED Team is slain in the game of Deathmatch, followed by a crowd booing in disappointment loudly.

At the same time, a shadowy figure approached the NEW Team mercenaries on the center bridge. The NEW mercenaries turned toward the figure.

"Good job, everyone." Said the figure with a creepy voice. "'Tis the fate of those who opposes me..."

The NEW mercenaries turned slightly and eyed the corpse of the RED Soldier, before turning back toward the shadowy figure.

The shadowy figure somehow produced a wine glass filled with red wine from his pockets. "A toast..." He raised the wine glass. "...To the new... not to be punny..." Suddenly feeling embarrassed at the obvious pun, the shadowy figure decided to clear his throat, and repeats what he was going to say. "...To the new patent of Mann Co..."

In response, some of the NEW mercenaries saluted the shadowy figure, some bowed politely.

"...The Mann Of Conspiracy!" The figure continues his speech, before ending it with a lengthy evil laugh.

* * *

**Afterwords**

Ever have a debate on what the Tenth Class would be?

Well, prepare for a massive surprise here, because I'm introducing not one, not two, but _nine_ new classes.

Some of these new (no pun there) classes are inspired by other _Team Fortress 2_ Fan Fics and the entries in the TF2 Fanfiction Dot Net forums, like the Sailor, Inflictor, Mage, Recon, Musician and Ninja; while the rest are my original creations, like the Arsonist, Alchemist and Striker. Credits for the first six characters goes to their respective owners. Thanks!

And now... the poop officially hits the fan.

Shout-out index:

"...Like that horror movie, _Alien_." - Right there. No explanations needed.

"I am no man." - Yes, Mage is no man, just like that one scene in one of the _Lord Of The Rings_ movie.

That is all. _"Spah sappin' mah punchline..."_


	4. Chapter 3: Meet The NEW Team

**Forewords**

Let me remind you (again)...

Although _Mann Of Conspiracy_ still has quite a bit of funny in it, it will still be considered as Darker And Edgier much later on.

If you are not ready for the upcoming grim dark theme, turn away from this Fan Fic!

That is all...

* * *

**Chapter 3: Meet The NEW Team**

Time: 28th of June, 1950.

Location: 38th Parallel, North Korean side.

_Explosions, machine gun fires and noises of plane engines echoed through the 38th Parallel as forces of both the United Nations and North Korea exchanged fires._

_Soldier was once again called into action. As he fired rockets after rockets at North Korean troops, while mumbling to himself. "I just don't get why these goddamned military superpowers declares war at the drop of a hat!" He complained, while at the same time cracking the skull of a North Korean soldier with a whack of his shovel. "First the Nazis, then the Japanese, and then the Soviets! Now this so called North Korea! What's next? Vietnam?!"_

_Soldier jumped out from behind the wreckage of a T-90 tank, and fired a volley of four rockets at strategically placed North Korean mortars._

_As Soldier was about to charge forward with his Shotgun raised, he noticed someone darting into the scene from behind him._

_It was his niece, Clara, now having a prosthetic leg after the incident back at Kuantan, Malaysia in 1945. The woman soldier fired her machine gun, taking out several entrenched Chinese snipers that are fighting for the North Koreans._

_Soldier closed in and grabbed Clara by the shoulder. "Clara Doe! I told you to stay away from the frontlines for the rest of your life!" Soldier scolded, while using his Shotgun to shoot down a Russian MiG-25 that was flying close to the ground above their heads._

_"I don't want to stay in the kitchen, uncle!" Clara responded, as she roundhouse-kicks several North Korean soldiers that popped out from nowhere all of a sudden. "I want to prove that women can do as well as men in wars!"_

_Soldier dragged Clara closer to him, right as a mortar shell was about to hit her, which thankfully missed. "Listen, young lady! After that explosion back in Malaysia, I swore to myself that I will not let you get injured again!"_

_Before Clara can make another response, she got hit in her prosthetic leg by a Chinese sniper. The shot simply ricochet off the prosthetic, as the woman soldier retaliates, pumping the Chinaman's face full of lead. "One seek pleasure from pain!" Clara finally responds._

_"Yes, that's true!" Soldier said. He flinched when a tank shell landed about two meters behind him. "But in some cases, so is the opposite!"_

_Another shot was fired at Clara. This time it hit her in her good leg._

_Clara dropped on her knees in pain. Soldier, now furious about the ambushing, grabbed his Rocket Launcher and tried to shoot at the North Korean soldier that shot her. But he wasn't quick enough, the North Korean fired another shot, this one piercing all the way through Clara's head and Soldier's torso._

_Soldier dropped the Rocket Launcher and clutched the wound on his torso as tightly as he could. But that was not the reason he has horror drawn all over his face. "CLAAAAARAAAAA!" He screamed loudly, before he succumbs to his own injury and fell against the muddy ground._

_Just before he blacks out, Soldier sees the same North Korean soldier walking slowly toward Clara, who died to a headshot with her eyes wide open. The North Korean stood next to the corpse of the woman soldier..._

_...And spoke a single line in Korean._

_"geuligo amudo eobs-eossda..."_

_Soldier blacked out immediately after that..._

...

Time: 1545 Hour; 26th of June, 2015.

Location: Cart 4, Gravel Express #42.

"WAAAUUUGGGHHHH!"

Soldier jolted up from the floor as he wakes up from the flashback dream.

All around him, the other RED Team mercenaries sat at every corner in what appears to be a barely lit room, with only the occasional sunlight seeping through the various small cracks.

The mercenaries also have several luggage with them.

"About time you woke up." Scout said to Soldier.

"We got our butts kicked like rotten bacon back there. All of us..." Engineer added in.

"And none of us were able to deal even one point worth of damage to those wankers from the NEW Team!" Sniper complains.

Heavy sat in a corner, hugging Sasha the Minigun sadly. "Oh, it is sad day to be giant baby man..."

Unable to recall why everyone are saying what they just said, Soldier got up from the floor, and asked everyone. "What happened, and what is this place?"

Demoman, surprisingly fully sober this time, answers. "We all got glued back together... IN HELL!"

Medic continues the black Scottish Cyclops' answer. "And ze Administrator have decided zat, after our first defeat in ze Copycat Wars, we are to be deported..."

Soldier is still confused. "Deported to where..." Then he realizes. "Wait, we got defeated in the Copycat Wars?! That means..."

"Yes, my friend..." Engineer said to the WW2 veteran. "Mann Co is now owned by the NEW Team's boss."

"And shortly after putting us on this train to Gravel, The Administrator and Saxton Hale disappeared into freaking nowhere!" Scout adds in a complain loudly. "Freaking unbelievable!"

The entire RED Team is then cut off by what sounded like a train whistle blowing from outside.

"Gentlemen..." Spy finally spoke, while having his mouth crammed full of cigarettes. He then reveals that the "Mentlegen" face is just a mask, which he takes off and throws onto the floor. "We have arrived at Gravel Station..."

The Frenchman is almost immediately interrupted by an explosion from outside. Even Soldier reacted with surprise to the deafening bang.

"...And it appears that we may be stranded here for quite a while..."

...

Location: NEW Team's Apartment; Manhattan, United States.

In an apartment building rented by the NEW Team, or rather, their boss, the NEW Team members gathered around a dining table, having lunch while chatting with each other.

"And so, after Recon here stuck a Flare on the _idiota_ Australian that is the RED Sniper, I sneaked up behind him, and..." The Musician suddenly slams the dining table. "KABOOSH! Full Crit! Right in the back of his _cranio_!" Musician then realizes that someone else at the table is giving him the look, he apologizes for slamming the table all of a sudden, and proceeds with eating his plate of spaghetti silently.

Directly opposite of where The Musician sat is The Mage. "Bugger, you Italians are better off making music!" Mage's clearly British accent may be what made Musician shut up. "Or row a gondola in Venice..." As she finishes her sentence, she took the opportunity to bite in another piece of British Toast, but put the slice back onto the plate when it turned out to be ice cold. Waving her hand above the plate, the ice cold butter spread on the toast started melting to indicate that the toast has been warmed up.

Recon who sat to the left of Mage took notice of the British witch casting her magic sighed in envy. "If only magic could have solved the conflict that necessitated the formation of the 38th Parallel..." Recon stabbed his fork over multiple spots in his plate full of Kimchi. He then notices something amiss at the dining table. "Speaking of said conflict..."

Someone suddenly stormed into the dining room furiously, holding in his hand what appears to be a crumpled poster of _The Interview_ film, complete with the Korean tagline spelling out "Lejisota nom midji anh-a!" [Do not trust these Registanian bastards!]. That person was the Striker.

"JANG HAN-GUK!" Striker shouted loudly. "This is American propaganda! Are you trying to invoke another war between the Koreas with this movie?!"

Recon stood up, his turn to be angered. "YOU RANSACKED MY ROOM?!" He shouted a response equally furious. "I knew North Korean bastards like you can't be trusted!" After his rant, Recon went and tries to punch Striker right in the face.

The North Korean easily dodges the South Korean's punch, and retaliates with a punch of his own. Recon gets punched straight in the jaw. Thankfully the punch didn't knock any tooth out, but Recon became even more furious.

What follows can best be described as the South Korean Recon and North Korean Striker exchanging punches while shouting something in Korean. The Korean curses are hard to make out over the constant punches and other noises caused by the fight. But at one point, both of them said the same curse in unison that is audible amidst the mess of noises. "jen jang!" [Damn you!].

"All that for a parody poster of _The Interview_..." The Inflictor, who stood next to the fridge while watching the two Koreans fight, deadpanned and lampshaded at the same time. "Those two _senor_ are strange, especially Striker whose nation took everything way too _en serio_..."

A second person walked into the dining room, and stopped the fight by lifting up the two fighters by their collar. Recon and Striker continued to jab at each other whilst being held above the ground.

"Now, now. You two lads shouldn't start a fight over something so trivial..." The man, The Sailor, told both Koreans. "But special mention goes to you, Striker. You have no sense of humor whatsoever. Remember when you turned your Assault Rifle on Mage when she cracked a joke?"

"I wasn't shot, but took me a week to clean up my room!" Mage cuts in.

Sailor dropped Recon and Striker on the floor. "Now be good lads or else I'll have Arsonist..." Sailor stopped mid sentence and turned his head around. Sure enough, Arsonist was there, but stayed for only a few seconds before walking back to his room. "...Strap the both of you to the next American atomic bomb that is bound for the Korean Peninsula." He continued his sentence afterwards.

Sitting by the dining table (all of a sudden, as that seat was unoccupied a second ago), Ninja shrugged with the creepiness of Arsonist. "He hasn't even grunted ever since that injury from Vietnam took the toll on him." Like Recon earlier, Ninja noticed something else amiss at the dining table. "Where is Alchemist, and what is he up to?"

It was Inflictor who answered. "Back in his room, trying to synthesize _oro_ again..."

Sailor, who was shooing Recon and Striker back to their room took note. "Thanks, Spaniard... I mean, Inflictor. Now if you excuse me, I'll be going to drag him out of his room." That said, Sailor left the dining room and went down the apartment corridor.

Nobody was sure what happens next, but judging by the noise of physics-defying explosions coming from the direction of Alchemist's room, it definitely is a massive mess there.

"What a bunch of _baka_ we are..." Ninja deadpanned, before she bites into another piece of sashimi.

...

Location: Gravel, somewhere in rural USA.

The RED Team stood around the train engine, or what's left of it. The explosion having tore it into pieces, with the blaze on its burning chassis releasing thick smoke several meters into the air.

"I thought vehicles only explode in movies and video games." Scout hung a lamp. He then slaps himself on the forehead upon realizing something. "Oh, wait. Maybe we are in one..."

"That mess is gonna take forever to repair!" Engineer exclaimed. "If only we have a Repair Bucket with us..."

"Not me this time..." Demoman nonchalantly points out. The black Scottish Cyclops is, very surprisingly, not holding any form of alcohol in his hand. In fact, he is perfectly sober, with his hands empty.

Soldier said nothing, he simply dropped his jaw at the sight of the wrecked train, and the revelation of him and his team losing the very job they had for the past 50 years.

"Tell me, how could this go so wrong?" Heavy asked himself sadly.

"Now its our turn to be standing still, wanker..." Sniper complains, before wandering off on his own.

"Mmph Mmph..." [No more Pyroland...] Pyro mumbled in disappointment.

Soldier still stood there with his jaws dropped.

The sound of someone can be heard exclaiming "Boomer!" in the background off the distance can be heard, followed by what sounded like a balloon bursting.

Soldier finally broke the silence by screaming at the top of his lungs. "AAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH!"

The other RED Mercenaries except Sniper turned toward the WW2 veteran.

"Listen up, you maggots!" Soldier tells off everyone. "If Mann Co has decided to leave us for dead for our failures to beat the NEW Team, we are going to make our way back to 2Fort to rip NEW Team and their boss a new one!"

None of the other Mercenaries gave a response. Then...

"That's what I'm talking about!" Scout gave Soldier a thumb up in response.

"Aye, I'll make sure they have nothing to glue themselves back together with. Not even IN HELL!" Demoman chimes in.

Soldier cracked his hands. "If we have to crack some skulls, we will!" Saying that, he went back into the train cart to search for something, and came back out holding a Beggar's Bazooka. Soldier loaded three rockets into the Bazooka, and fires all three into the sky.

Heavy lifted Sasha the Minigun up, and tried a cool pose. "This is just the beginning of the pain we will give them..." The massive Russian boasted.

"Mph-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Pyro raised his Flamethrower above him, and laughed like the maniac he is.

"Let's practice some more medicine!" Medic joined the team-boasting.

Soldier fires another volley of three rockets into the sky. "We will slowly find our way back to Mann Co Headquarters, and then we'll challenge NEW Team again, and beat the crap out of every single one of them!"

The team cheered loudly.

"But first off, we need a temporal base of operation, and this abandoned Gravel mill is just perfect for the job!" Soldier said to everyone. He then turns toward Engineer. "Engie, can you repair the computers of the old BLU Spawn here?"

Engineer produced his Wrench from nowhere (the Texan himself wondered how that's possible), and said, "Maybe. But ah'm gonna need more than a Wrench..."

The Texan's answer came in the form of Sniper driving his camper van out of another train cart.

"Good thing Saxton Hale packed my camper van with everything we owned." Sniper told the others. "I have a box of tools in the back just in case we needed more than Engie's Wrench."

"Then let's get down to business!" Scout said excitedly. "I can't wait to bonk cave in the skulls of that cheap Demoman-Spy knockoff who blew me up back there!"

...

And so for the next three days, the RED Team Mercenaries, with the help of their Engineer, tries to convert the abandoned Gravel Outpost into their temporal base of operations.

Computer terminals in the old BLU Spawn of the compound are repaired. A radar dish installed in place of the Control Point. Sentries has been built all over Gravel. The BLU's Respawn Module recalibrated for the RED Team (their old one was left at 2Fort and is probably now owned by NEW Team). Heavy and Scout ransacking the BLU's old fridge only to find expired Sandviches and empty cans of BONK! Atomic Punch...

With their temporal base done, the REDs tried to find out more about the members of the NEW Team from doing a bit of recon. They tried hacking into the databases of Mann Co - or what used to be the mega company - but are stopped by the Newly installed firewall which somehow caused the computers to explode, forcing Engineer to re-repair them.

It took multiple hacking attempts, multiple exploding computer terminals, multiple re-repairs. But after days of trying, the RED Team has finally obtained information about the NEW Mercenaries.

By that point, the REDs swore that they shall never hack another computer ever again...

...

Time: 1135 Hour; 1st of July, 2015.

Location: RED Command Center, Gravel Outpost.

"Everyone, I have an important announcement to make."

The REDs all turned toward Soldier.

"Thanks to the efforts of Engineer, and all of you..." Soldier announced, which everyone responds with their equivalent of "Yeah!" or in the case of Pyro, gave two thumbs up. "...We have finally uncovered the identity of the numbskulls that is the NEW Team!" The WW2 veteran turned toward Engineer. "Engie, if you may..."

"Alrighty then!" Engineer said. The Texan then connects the computer terminals to a projector, and start punching codes into the computers.

The other classes took cover just in case of another explosion. Medic even has an Ubercharge ready on both of the Mediguns he is dual-wielding.

Thankfully an explosion is not the case. The computer terminals and projector did their job properly. The Mercenaries breathed a sigh of relief.

The projector shows the photo of a man dressed in a sailor uniform and cap. Aside from the aforementioned uniform and cap, he is almost a carbon copy of Soldier.

"This numbskull here, a British rip-off of me, calls himself The Sailor. Real name: Paul Punchman." Soldier relayed the information about the man depicted in the photo. "Hometown: London, England. Primary weapon: Harpoon Gun. Secondary weapon: Shotgun. Melee weapon: an Anchor. His specialty is to dive underwater and sneak up upon his enemies silently. Quite slow on land, but almost faster than Scout when underwater."

"Faster than me?!" Scout cuts in. "How the heck is that freakin' possible?!"

Heavy slaps Scout on the back of his head. "Let Soldier finish speech..." The massive Russian told the Bostonian.

Uninterrupted, Soldier continues his speech, as Engineer switches the picture to another member of the NEW Team. This time, some guy with a moustache playing a violin in which the bowstring seems more like a tripwire than a bowstring.

"This guy is called The Musician. Now I know what some of you might be thinking. But let me tell you that, according to the database, he used to be one of the many personal bodyguards hired by Benito Mussolini of Fascist Italy, and is the only one to have survived World War 2..." Due to the topic involved, Soldier tries to ease himself mentally, though the way he did it is so obvious the other REDs knew what he's doing. "His real name is Mario Ichitali. Hometown: Venice, Italy. Primary weapon: a Funeral Trumpet that is high-pitched enough to make your ears bleed. Secondary weapon: a poisonous blowgun disguised as a Flute. Melee weapon, a Weighted Violin that is heavy enough to double as a bludgeon."

"That's the same thing that wanker used to kill me back there!" Sniper pointed out upon hearing about the Weighted Violin. "My head is still ringing from it, mate!"

"But if I remember correctly, Sniper, The Musician got an Assist Kill when he caved your skull in." Engineer reminded the Australian gunman.

"And the next one is in my opinion better off carrying a red cape for bulls to charge at." Soldier interrupts, as Engineer changes the photo again. This time it's...

Something about the current NEW Mercenary surprised the entire RED Team. But it wasn't what the mercenary in question looked like, or where they came from.

"A woman...?" Spy questioned.

"I was myself surprised at first." Soldier told the Frenchman. "But back on topic. This is The Inflictor, who refused to be named during her interview. Hometown: Madrid, Spain. Primary weapon: a Dart Gun equipped with paralyzing venom. Secondary weapon: a Blowgun which does the same but shoots slower and does no damage on its own. Melee weapon... uh, not quite sure what it is. Looks like an Asian Fan with blades protruding from it?"

"You got paralyzed near ze end of zat match, correct?" Medic reminded Soldier.

Soldier said nothing in response. He simply gestured Engineer to switch the photo.

This time the photo is of what looked like a young girl... in an _incredibly_ stereotypical witch outfit, complete with a pointy hat.

"That is definitely not a Halloween costume, everyone." Soldier emphasized to the REDs. "And sure as hell reminds us all of my old roommate, Merasmus." The WW2 veteran cracked his fist upon being reminded of his wizard roommate. "Turns out Merasmus wasn't the only magician in the world. This little girl, The Mage, is one of them. Real name: Bernice. Yes, just Bernice..." Soldier emphasized again in case the REDs are still confused. "Hometown: Southampton, England... Or rather, what would become said city when she was first born, because she's really 200 years old..."

"What?!" Scout exclaimed in confusion. "What a bunch of weirdos the NEWs are..."

"Well, Scout. The rest of them are kind of weird too." Soldier tells the Bostonian. "Back on topic. Primary weapon: an equally stereotypical Magic Wand. Secondary weapon... not so much as a weapon, as its a bottle of thrown Healing Potion. Melee weapon: a simple Broom..."

...

And so the debriefing continued for a while as Soldier relayed information regarding members of the NEW Team to the REDs.

The relaying of the information went on without a hitch. That is, if one counts the occurrence of Soldier having a case of near-nervous breakdown over the introduction of the Alchemist - real name: McStorm - who came from Dublin, Ireland, or Demoman freaking out over the NEW Mercenary that killed him in the earlier game: the Ninja - real name: Yamada Yukiko (in the Asian order) - from Hokkaido, Japan, who is _also_ a woman... Without a hitch.

"With only a couple of Shuriken as her range weapon, that lass made me had to glue myself back together in hell..." Demoman's freak-out comment on Ninja will forever be remembered by the REDs as hilarious and dangerous at the same time (the Scotsman almost blew up the entire Gravel during his freak-out.

"Outrunning me? Freakin' unbelievable!" So was Scout's. At least the Bostonian didn't do something that forced everyone to turn him into a toilet paper mummy like they did Demoman.

After all that fiasco with Demo, Soldier went back to introducing the last two members of the NEW Team: Recon - real name: Jang Han-Guk - who is from Busan, South Korea; and...

...

"THE STRIKER!" Soldier seems to be furious about the NEW Mercenary that killed him earlier today. He even cracked his fists multiple times, each time so loud that he might as well be grounding the bones in his hands to dust.

Of course, the rest of the REDs knew better than to interrupt the WW2 veteran, especially not when he's furious beyond measurement. Even Engineer decided not to make the infamous "It's over NINE THOUSAND!" joke on the measurement of Soldier's anger.

"This numbskull... no, this _bastard_..." Soldier said with a serious tone. "...Is formerly a stormtrooper of the so called Democratic Republic of Korea, AKA North Korea..."

"North Korea?" Scout took notice of the Striker's nationality. "Isn't that the only country in the world to _actually ban_ the industry of hat-making, and even hijacked and crashed a plane into the World Trade Center for its alleged 'corruption of world society'?"

"Fat leader is tiny baby man! Claims that hats serves no purpose on the battlefield!" Heavy delivered his disgust.

"That jerkass, Jong-Un even threatened to blow up America if we keep pooling all of our resources into 'useless cosmetic hats' and 'impractical transportation via artillery'!" Engineer did too. "What's wrong with wearin' Nice Hats and getting 'round with Rocket Jumps?"

"Nazi Germany is a cuddle bear when compared to ze DRPK." Medic comments.

Soldier fires a single Shotgun shell into the ceiling, which thankfully doesn't hit anything else, to silence the REDs.

He then continues his speech. "...His real name is Kim Cho-Sin. He was the last North Korean stormtrooper I've came across during the Korean War, and I have unfinished business with him!" Soldier cracked his neck this time. "Just when I thought to escape to Canada to avoid being drafted into the Vietnam War..." He suddenly removed two grenades from his ammo belt, "BANG!", and slammed them together so hard it sprang holes for the gunpowder inside to pour out. "That bastard turned up in a scouting report of the Australian Army that came all the way from Saigon! He was in the Vietcong's underground Headquarters!"

"Eh, that report came from me, mate..." Sniper reminded Soldier. "I was the same Australian soldier that scouted the Vietcong Headquarters in one dark stormy night. The rain made it a Buckley's Chance of escaping from it alive..."

"I don't care what you think of the Vietcong, Sniper..." Soldier told the Australian. "I just want to crack Striker's skull... no, I will make him _cease to exist_!"

As Soldier continues his speech in the background, Spy turned toward Medic and whispered. "I do believe that Soldier is taking the Striker very personally..."

"Vhat makes you zink so?" The German doctor whispered back.

"Think about it, _Monsieur_..." Spy said with notes of sarcasm. "Doesn't 'make him cease to exist' sound a lot like a revenge attack?"

The whispered conversation was interrupted when Pyro raised his hand up.

Good thing Soldier is just done with his speech, so he isn't interrupted in any way. "Yes, Pyro?"

"Mmph mmph mmph?" [What about The Arsonist?]

Soldier's response to the pyromaniac is an instantaneous "Dismissed!" that didn't answer Pyro's question.

Pyro mumbled in disappointment, but Scout cheers him up.

"Don't mind his lack of a response, man. He had read through the database on his own earlier, and found that Arsonist seems to be even creepier than you. Well, at least Arsonist is definitely a man, and is from Malaysia of all places. A former Vietcong too..."

* * *

**Afterwords**

Extra long chapter, with some twist in the story!

Soldier's niece is dead. Killed by the North Korean stormtrooper that became Striker, during the Korean War.

Here's a meta-question: are you surprised by the combination of NEW's nationality? Sailor and Mage are British, Musician is Italian, Inflictor is Spanish, Alchemist is Irish, Ninja is from Japan, Recon is from South Korea, _Striker is from North Korea, and Arsonist is a Vietnamese-born Malaysian_!

Even the history in the _Mann of Conspiracy_ universe is different than real-life! The 9-11 Attack is caused by not Al-Qaeda insurgents, but North Korean spies! North Korea became isolated from the rest of the world because everyone else are pooling resources into cosmetic hats and the likes of Rocket Jumping Explosives when they could've used the same resources to boost their industry or military!

And yes, I did just have Heavy call Kim Jong-Un a "fat tiny baby man". Like he wasn't... oh wait, am I flipping off anyone in the Korean Peninsula with this statement?

Shout-out index:

_The Interview_ \- James Franco and Seth Rogen gets recruited by the CIA to go assassinate North Korean leader, Kim Jong-Un. Weird plot, anyone?

[Do not trust these Registanian bastards] - Yes, I know the original tagline for _The Interview_ is "Do not trust these American bastards" in Korean. I just thought it will be funny to make a reference to my other work - _Fantasy Blitzkrieg_.

"If only we have a Repair Bucket with us..." - Surprise! A reference to _Kantai Collection_!

"Boomer!" - Stay away from the Boomer! That's one of the primary rules of _Left 4 Dead_!

That is all. _"Deploy a punchline here..."_


	5. Chapter 4: You're Fired Literally!

**Forewords**

Another week, another chapter for my Fan Fics...

Nothing much to say in this Forewords section...

So let's get back to the storyline.

Heavy: "Pootispenser here!"

* * *

**Chapter 4: You're Fired... Literally**

Time: 1200 Hour; 1st of July, 2015.

Location: Office Of The Mann, Mann Co Headquarters.

"I demand to see your boss!" Saxton Hale, fully dressed in a sandy yellow tuxedo (and fits perfectly too) for once, shouted at the NEW Team Mercenaries who are guarding the entrance to the office that used to be the Australian Chuck Norris's.

None of the NEW Team budged.

"Remove yourself from the vicinity, Saxton Hale..." Striker tells him. "You do not own Mann Corporation anymore."

The testosterone-filled Australian became angered. He flexed his pecks and muscles to show NEW Team that he mean business, without ripping his tux apart, somehow. "Let me through, or else...!"

The entire NEW Team all pointed their primary weapons at Saxton in response, with exception to Ninja who grabbed her Melee weapon instead. Also Alchemist, who drew his Alchemy Staff which could not be categorized in any weapon slots.

"Or else what?" Sailor dared the massive Australian, while pointing his Harpoon Gun. "You're going to sic a kangaroo on us?"

"Australium-infused War Kangaroo, to be exact!" Saxton Hale responds. He proceeds to throw a punch at Recon...

...Before someone spoke through the intercoms.

_"Let Mr. Hale in, men and women. I've been expecting him."_ The voice spoke.

The fist that Saxton Hale threw stopped short of Recon's nose, enough to nudge his reading glasses out of place. The Australian didn't cave in the South Korean's face, not because of NEW Team's boss expecting him, but because the intercom used is even better made than the one he used for the last 50 years (the new intercom has no buzzing whatsoever, while the original may as well double as a buzz generator).

"Consider yourselves lucky, NEWbies..." Saxton drew his fist back and straightened his tie. The NEW Team put their weapons down, and stood aside as the massive Australian stepped through the door.

As soon as Saxton stepped into the office, the NEWs scrambled to close the door, and sealed it shut.

_"I don't remember this office being so dark..."_ Saxton pointed out to himself when he notices that the office he used to own is now nearly pitch black instead of being fully lighted at every corner. In fact, only the spot that the Australian is currently standing on is shone upon by a spotlight, every other spots in the room are completely unlit.

_"Ah, Mr. Hale, I've been wanting to see you as well. You came at the right moment..."_ A voice that sounded like a human's, but proven otherwise by the tone of speech greeted Saxton from an unlit corner.

Saxton Hale cracked his fists. "So you're the NEWs' boss. Why don't you show me your face before I go and crush it with my **bare damn hands**?"

The voice chuckled evilly. _"There's a saying in Ninja's home country: Take it Easy."_

"Taking things easy is not how we Australians do things!" Saxton became impatient, and was about to throw his fist at the source of the voice, when he realizes he have no idea exactly where the voice came from in the first place.

_"Maybe you guys should..."_ The voice spoke again.

As that is said, something slowly inched its way toward the lit spot Saxton is standing on. The object stopped short of the edge of the light, but Saxton Hale is still able to make out a pair of feet and hands on harnesses that obviously belonged to a wheelchair.

Except, something strange about the limbs caught the massive Australian's attention: they are all partially robotic.

_"...Because the Australian way is what gave me these implements..."_ The same voice emerged from the shadowy wheelchair-riding person, who then lifts his right hand up, and points his metallic index finger at Saxton Hale.

_**"EXTERMINATE!"**_ A different voice, this one definitely robotic, shouts from behind the shadowy person. The shouting is followed by a shot from a Machina sniper rifle which hits Hale square in his chest.

Surprisingly, this bullet didn't bounce off Saxton Hale's skin. Instead, it went _right through him_ as though he wasn't there.

Getting a gunshot wound for the first time since his first Half-Birthday, Saxton Hale collapsed on the ground, as pools of his own blood begins forming on the solid metal floor. "What... Impossible...!"

_"That bullet was actually meant for The Administrator. But she had somehow disappeared before I can find her. Nevertheless, this bullet, made of an ore I named Anythium, can do anything I want it to do, including reversing the effects of Australium..."_ The shadowy person boasted, before he burst into an evil laugh that would've made any super-villain green with envy.

"Who... Are... You..." Saxton Hale struggled to ask, before he passed out from blood loss.

At that point, the NEW Team members opened the door, walked into the office, and started dragging the testosterone-filled Australian's body out, leaving a trail of blood behind.

_"I am... The Mann Of Conspiracy..."_ The shadowy person answers evilly.

...

Location: Storage Shed, Gravel Outpost.

"Take this! And that! And this! And that!"

In the Gravel Storage Shed that has been converted into a training hall, Heavy can be seen punching a punching bag which has a photo of Josef Stalin taped to it. Behind the massive Russian is a pile of torn punching bags each having photos of the former Soviet dictator taped on them.

"POW! Ha ha!" Heavy then utterly annihilates the punching bag with a Quick Draw Kill-Taunt, sending it flying out of the Storage Shed and disappearing off the horizon.

Meanwhile in another corner, Scout is practicing his baseball-throwing skills by throwing the ball at a bull's eye which has a doodled photo of Justin Bieber taped to it. The Bostonian scored perfect accuracy so far.

Scout then decides to walk closer to the bull's eye, with the Sandman in hand. "Yo, what's up?" He then whacks the bull's eye several times with the wooden baseball bat. "What happened to your girl-attracting music, chucklenuts?" Scout continued whacking the photo of Justin Bieber, until the entire bull's eye came loose, and fell on the wooden floor. "Eat my dust!" He kicks dust into the photo multiple times.

"JARATE!" Sniper joined in all of a sudden, throwing a full jar of Jar-Based Karate at the same bull's eye. Scout dodged the Jarate by standing away from the bull's eye.

The Bostonian gave a thumb-up to Sniper in response. "Thanks, pal."

"Nah, that wanker deserved it." The Australian assassin said. "He shouldn't be singing at all, mate."

With that, Sniper went back to practicing his sniping skills by taking shots at several cardboard cutout Medics...

...Although he got interrupted - which in turn caused him to miss a target by a mere inch - when Soldier suddenly walked into the Storage Shed.

"Listen up, people!" Soldier shouted at Scout, Heavy and Sniper. "Engie has just successfully hacked into the database once more! Intel says that NEW Team has been challenged to a game of Capture The Flag, and it will be taking place in Dustbowl which isn't too far away from Gravel!"

"'Bout time!" Scout said excitingly.

"Sniper, get your camper warmed up!" Soldier told Sniper. "The game starts in ten minutes. If we're quick, we might just get there before it begins!"

"VAIT!" Heavy interrupted. "Vhat do we do vith tiny baby NEW Team?"

Soldier gave a straightforward response. "We'll observe how those numbskulls fight, and take notes of their strengths and weaknesses. Once we learn what their weaknesses are, we will challenge them to a final fight and our American boots will kick their international asses back to their home country!"

Pyro walked in from behind Soldier. With the Rainblower in hand (this time it was visible outside Pyroland), which he blows a volley of harmless rainbows and bubbles with into the sky, while laughing.

"Eh, wrong mood for the Rainblower, Pyro..." Soldier told the masked pyromaniac.

Pyro lowered the Rainblower, and sighed in disappointment. "Mmph..." [Sorry...]

With Soldier's announcement done, the REDs all left the Storage Shed as they made their way for the NEWs' game at Dustbowl.

Had any of the REDs stayed behind for any longer, they will have noticed that one of the Medic cutouts appears to be moving on its own.

"MeeM!" The Medic cutout cried out, just before a series of rapid shotgun clicking noises can be heard, followed by the cutout getting decapitated.

The rapid shotgun clicking continued for another two seconds, and is immediately followed by what sounds like a Soldier laughing creepily.

...

Time: 1234 Hour.

Location: Dustbowl, 1 KM from Gravel.

Although Engineer had gave Sniper's camper van several upgrades, it still wasn't fast enough to get the RED Team from Gravel to Dustbowl in ten minutes. Although most of the blame can be put on Medic wasting the entire team's time trying to catch Archimedes. That's the only time Heavy has called Medic "not credit to team".

Thankfully, the NEW Team's game seems to be still going on despite the REDs being late to it for over 20 minutes. That said, the REDs weren't the ones challenging the NEWs to a game of Capture The Flag.

Sniper scanned around Dustbowl using the scope of his Sniper Rifle. He located The Recon turtling in Engineer's favorite turtling spot which is a shack next to the first Point (the Point has been disabled because the current game isn't Control Point).

Engineer, who's watching the same spot felt disgusted. "That rip-off of me from South Korea is stealing mah' favorite turtling point!" The Texan emphasized. "Ah'm gonna lay him out!" He said angrily as he was about to jump into the battle.

Thankfully Heavy grabbed Engineer in the collar before the Texan can take another step. "Let us watch NEW Team. No watching, no victory..."

At the same time, Scout spots the Ninja, equipped with a stock Katana, rushing head on into a Level 3 Sentry Gun _and actually destroying it without being killed, while not under the effects of Ubercharges or Bonk! Atomic Punches_.

"Freakin' unbelievable!" Scout became green with envy, seeing the Japanese NEW female Mercenary pulling off something fully impossible for any Scouts.

Then something caught Scout's eye about that destroyed Sentry Gun: it was team-colored _red_.

"Hey, hard hat..." Scout turned toward Engineer. "Did you put that Sentry there?"

Engineer scoffed. "Son, Ah' haven't even taken a step into Dustbowl. That Sentry Gun which was just destroyed by Ninja definitely ain't mine."

"Then who did?" Soldier took notice of the oddity. "We all have been booted out of Mann Co, and Saxton Hale don't have anyone ready to replace us..."

The REDs then notices someone else charging toward Ninja with a Rescue Ranger shotgun. It was an Engineer...

...Or more precisely, a _female_ RED Engineer.

"Fem-Gie?!" Engineer was surprised by the presence of his female counterpart in the field.

The Female Engineer is followed by what appears to be a Female Scout wielding the Atomizer, while under the effects of a can of Bonk! Atomic Punch, charging toward Ninja.

"Fem-Scout?!" Now it was Scout's turn to be surprised.

A Spy uncloaked, or was forcefully uncloaked, upon approaching Recon's Tesla Nest. The Recon's Jammer (his replacement of a Dispenser) did its job of completely draining the Female Spy's cloak, before his Mini Tesla (his replacement of a Sentry Gun) completely fries the Frenchwoman with electricity the same way it fried Spy back at 2Fort.

_NEW Recon's Mini Tesla electrocuted FRED Spy._

"Domination, kekeke..." Recon said happily, as the tune indicating a Domination is heard.

Before anything else can happen, a bell rang three times to signify the end of a game, _"NEW Striker has captured FREDs' Intelligence!"_, followed by the Administrator's voice announcing _"Flawless DEFEAT, Female RED Team!"_ and a series of booing by a crowd.

As the fight enters Humiliation Mode, the Female REDs starts running around without their weapons, as the NEWs with their weapons given permanent Crit-Boosts begin hunting them down from one end of Dustbowl to another.

"Holy doolie!" Sniper exclaims. "These wankers won themselves another Flawless Victory!"

"I don't know, pal..." Even Scout became a bit afraid of the NEWs' prowess. "But I ain't gonna get my ass kicked flawlessly next time!"

The NEWs' kill-count begins to pile up in the ensuing Humiliation Mode. The REDs didn't have to actually look at each kill to know when one happens, because there is a newly installed Hovering Scoreboard keeping track of it.

_NEW Ninja decapitated FRED Scout with stock Katana._

_NEW Musician caved in FRED Heavy's skull with stock Weighted Violin._

_NEW Mage jinxed FRED Pyro with stock Magic Wand._

_NEW Inflictor used FRED Soldier as a dart board for her stock Dart Gun._

_NEW Recon is Dominating FRED Spy for the second time!_

_NEW Alchemist has just Dominated FRED Medic!_

_NEW Sailor impaled FRED Sniper with Harpoon Gun._

_NEW Striker backstabbed FRED Engineer with stock Combat Knife._

_NEW Arsonist made chunky salsa out of FRED Demowoman with C4 Charge._

"Suddenly, Humiliating tiny baby teams is not fun anymore..." Heavy gave a backhand comment.

The Administrator made it clear that she's still watching the events unfold in Dustbowl.

_"FRED Team, you have been defeated flawlessly by NEW Team, just like those imbeciles from RED Team!"_

The Administrator's chiding actually drew complains from the REDs.

"What?! Who are you callin' imbeciles?!" Scout cried out angrily, and then responds by launching a Sandman ball at a megaphone. The ball missed, and lands on the ground of Dustbowl without hitting anyone.

This drew attention from both NEW Team and the currently respawning FRED Team.

Demoman, once again drunk, stood up brandishing his Grenade Launcher. "FIIIIIIREEEEEE!" In a literally drunken rage, the black Scottish Cyclops kicks Medic's Kritskrieg medigun to Ubercharge himself, and begins spamming Grenades at the direction of the NEWs whom have regrouped in one spot.

This surprised the FREDs and the rest of the REDs: Demoman's grenades are seemingly exploding in midair before they even got close enough to the NEWs to do any damage. Not only that, they always detonate prematurely at the exact same distance.

"What?!" Soldier exclaimed loudly. "A deflector shield?! Impossible!"

Just then, something large from the skies casted a shadow that covered the entirety of Dustbowl. Everyone turned toward it, except Demoman who is still spamming Crit-Boosted grenades at NEW Team. Scout raised his bat and gently whacked the drunk Scotsman in the back of his head, without turning his attention away from whatever's casting the huge shadow.

The object is revealed to be an enormous metallic grey airship. Its eight rocket thrusters pumped enough exhaust heat into Dustbowl to give the passing pigeons instantaneous heatstroke (but thankfully not hot enough to do the same to humans).

At this point, both the REDs and FREDs looked at the massive airship with stunned silence.

A bay door of some kind opened on the bottom of the airship, while it is hovering directly above NEW Team.

"ulineun dasi mannal geos ida..." [We shall meet again...] Striker said to the REDs and FREDs in Korean, right before he and his team gets... beamed off the ground ala _Star Trek_.

The massive grey airship, having just picked up its passengers, begins to hover higher above the ground, while blowing dusts into everyone's face, before it took off toward the mountains at a high speed.

Both the REDs and FREDs are left stunned.

_"As agreed with the Copycat Wars, Mann Co, or what is left of it now owns all our assets! As such, FRED Team, you are all FIRED! F. I. R. E. D. FIRED!"_ The Administrator broke the silence hammily, before she can be heard storming out of her office through the megaphones (even slamming the office doors as she passed by them).

The REDs and FREDs are still stunned.

"Freakin' unbelievable!" Fem-Scout exclaims, much to the other FREDs' chagrin...

...

On the way back to Gravel, on board Sniper's camper van...

"You seein' it?!" Scout nudged Soldier angrily. "We ain't gonna beat them if they can win every fight flawlessly!"

Soldier made no reply.

"Oh, entire team is babies..." Heavy said sadly.

"At this rate, they're gonna be makin' bacon out of us!" Engineer strikes his opinion.

Pyro sighed, while holding a stick of marshmallows over an imaginary campfire.

"Ah, piss..." Sniper cursed when a shower of bird poop came out of nowhere and rained upon the windshield. He activated the wipers to try to clean it.

Soldier suddenly slammed his fist against the inside of the camper van, startling everyone else.

"Curse that bastard from North Korea!" Soldier expressed his anger when thinking of how the Striker and his NEW Team got away. "No, curse his new boss too! I've already had it back when his boss was still Kim Il-Sung! Now his new boss, who's also the boss of NEW Team should be destroyed for making a bunch of clowns out of us...!"

"...And us too!" The similarly toned voice of Fem-Soldier is heard coming from outside the camper van.

Curious as to the source of the voice, Scout opened the sun roof, and climbed out to take a look.

Fem-Soldier was there, alright. Hanging by the ladder outside an identical camper van that is driven by Fem-Sniper.

"Uh, guys?" Scout stammered as he tries to tell his teammates. "The FREDs are here..."

Hearing that, Soldier climbed out of the sun roof, almost shoving Scout off the camper van in the process, and looked at the identical camper van occupied by the REDs' female counterparts that are the FREDs.

"You ain't seeing things, pancakes." Fem-Scout said with her arms crossed, herself poking out of the sun roof.

"You guys are whoop-assed by the NEWs, right?" Fem-Engineer popped out from the sun roof. "Us girls are coming with you, and then we're gonna make bacon out of the NEWbies together!"

Soldier, due to obvious reasons, face-palmed. "Great, more women on the battlefield..."

...

Location: The Bridge, NEW Team's Carrier Airship.

Inside the already enormous Carrier Airship is the similarly scaled Bridge of the aircraft.

"Back in this massive airborne tin can that has a scaled-up replica of the bridge of the USS Enterprise from _Star Trek_..." Recon comments as he and the rest of the NEW Team walked into the spacious room.

Sat on a throne-like seat in the center of the Bridge is the NEWs' boss: the shadowy figure who calls himself the Mann Of Conspiracy.

_"I assume your game with the FREDs is completely flawless. Is it, NEW?"_ The Mann Of Conspiracy asked the NEWs without turning around.

"Ahniyo..." [No...] Recon gave a straight response. "Their Pyro managed to set me on fire before my Mini-Tesla could kill her..." The South Korean technician shrugged when thinking of being on fire. "Good thing Mage came soon enough to throw me a Healing Potion..."

"Nobody said that W+M1-ing is completely useless, after all." Sailor reminds Recon.

Inflictor stood forward, and asked the Mann Of Conspiracy a question, "What of the original RED Team, _Senor_ Conspiracy?"

The Mann Of Conspiracy, still having his back turned against the NEWs, raised his metallic right hand, showing just the index finger.

_"Which is exactly why I have hired someone a bit... hungry... to deal with them..."_ The Mann responds.

Someone else walked to the side of the throne-like seat, brandishing an abnormally huge Shahanshah/ spike-covered Splendid Screen combo in his hands. At close inspection, he appears to be a Sniper, other than being jet black, having a beard, and the usual Sniper's crosshair symbol replaced by a biohazard symbol.

"It's like Christmas morning... for him..." The freakish Sniper commented on the situation.

...

Location: Gravel.

As Sniper parked his camper van in a vacant train wagon, Fem-Sniper decided to park hers next to it (actually outside that wagon since it has only enough room for one camper van).

"Now should I recalibrate the Respawn Module for the lassies?" Engineer, the first to get off Sniper's camper van, asked.

The response came in the form of Fem-Engineer's backhanded slap. "'Course ye should, boy!"

Engineer grunted in disappointment.

Amusingly, both RED Demoman and FRED Demowoman tripped down the steps of their respective teams' camper van and landed face-first on the floor, while still holding onto a bottle of scrumpy. Though it didn't make their team laugh one bit, given the situation they've gone through earlier.

"Listen up, people!" Soldier announced all of a sudden.

"Listen to him, girls!" Fem-Soldier tells the FREDs.

"We may not have learned about the NEWs' weaknesses, but now we at least have more people we can fight them with!" Soldier continued his announcement. "At this point, I don't care if our newest allies are women or not! We're gonna rip the NEWs and their boss several new asses!"

Before anyone could cheer, though, an entire slab of Buffalo Steak Sandvich (which is missing the bread, but who needs bread?) landed right on Soldier's face.

The WW2 veteran removed the offending steak from his face, and shouted, "HEAVY! What did I tell you about not leaving your lunch everywhere?!"

Heavy said innocently, "That wasn't me..."

Fem-Heavy said the same thing.

Soldier took another look at the Buffalo Steak Sandvich, then back at his team, and the FREDs. "If either Heavies didn't leave this behind, then who did?"

"Vait!" Both Medic and Fem-Medic called out in unison. "Ze steak appears to have a bite mark that does not appear human!"

Soldier looked at the Buffalo Steak Sandvich a third time, this time putting it right in front of his nose for a really close look.

Indeed, the nearly invisible bite mark on the steak does not belong to any human's.

At about the same time, the sound of abnormally rapid shotgun clicks can be heard echoing around the Gravel Outpost.

"Ah, crap..." Fem-Scout's face automatically went white.

"What's wrong, girl? You know this?" Fem-Spy asked Fem-Scout in confusion.

Fem-Scout grabbed her Force-A-Nature scattergun and loaded it. "That rapid shotgun clickin' only belongs to one freak we girls have witnessed before!"

Immediately, the sound of the REDs' makeshift satellite dish collapsing can be heard.

The REDs and FREDs turned toward the satellite dish, or where it stood seconds ago.

Currently standing on the decommissioned Point is a freakish RED-colored Soldier, covered in what is obviously human blood. Said Soldier's head is also tilted to one side, exposing his two eyes under his helmet.

The freakish Soldier looked at the REDs and FREDs, a series of shotgun clicks heard as he does so, and revealed a slasher smile that sent chills down the FREDs' spines.

"Mmph Mmph!" Pyro shouted at the freakish Soldier. However, his tone was so distorted nobody was sure what he's actually saying under that gas mask.

The freakish Soldier took several steps closer to the two teams. This time, sending chills down the RED's spines as they readied their own weapons.

The freakish Soldier pointed at himself, more shotgun clicks heard doing so, and said...

"I am Painis Cupcake! I will eat you!"

* * *

**Afterwords**

Are you stumped to see NEW Team fighting the female mercenaries, the NEWs' Carrier Airship, Saxton Hale getting killed,, an ore that surpasses Australium, AND the introduction of Painis Cupcake the cannibal Soldier Freak in the same chapter? This story is called the _Mann Of_ _Conspiracy_! Of course there's going to be such a mind-blowing reveal!

And in case you're wondering. Yeah, that freakish Sniper standing next to the Mann Of Conspiracy is an equally famous Sniper Freak. You can guess his identity from the info I provided right there.

Shout-out index:

**"EXTERMINATE!"** \- Daleks? in _Team Fortress 2_? Don't be kidding, that's definitely NOT a Dalek!

...Justin Bieber..." - In respect to Bieber fans, I don't mean anything offensive when I used him as Scout's target dummy. Sorry...

"Domination, kekeke..." - As much of a "Kekeke" as Zerg Rushes?

_"You are FIRED! F.I.R.E.D. FIRED!"_ \- Like how kitchen works in _Ratatouille_ is serious business, the games in _Team Fortress 2_ are equally serious businesses.

..._Star Trek_... - Right there! Even if you're not a Trekkie, go kill yourself if you didn't get it.

That is all. _"Poot punchline here..."_


	6. Chapter 5: Cannibalism And Hats

**Forewords**

Alright, now its time for a boss battle against one of the most popular TF2 Freaks: Painis Cupcake!

And in case you're wondering...

NO! THAT ENGINEER FREAK WITH THE DEFORMED FACE WILL NEVER EVER APPEAR IN THIS FIC!

* * *

**Chapter 5: Hats And Cannibalism**

Time: 1345 Hour; 1st of July, 2015.

Location: Train Station, Gravel Outpost.

The first person to fall victim to the freakish Soldier called Painis Cupcake is Scout, whose head was literally bitten off by the Freak with a single gulp. What horrifies the mercenaries even further is what Painis is doing to the headless corpse.

"He's eatin' him like he's bacon!" The Engineer exclaim.

"Good thing he can respawn..." Sniper said casually, as he takes aim with his Sniper Rifle. "But, we still need to kill this wanker." Sniper proceeds to land a headshot on Painis Cupcake.

But, said headshot did nothing more than inconvenience the cannibalistic Soldier Freak. In response, Painis slid on his stomach deeper into the compounds of Gravel.

"That son of a bitch is going to be a tough one..." Soldier said, as he cocks his Shotgun. "Ladies, you all should stay in the train. Let us men handle this Freak!" He tells the FREDs.

"What?! I beg to..." Fem-Scout was about to object, but was interrupted by Fem-Heavy.

"Let men do their job..." The massive female Russian tells the female Bostonian. "I fear no man. But that thing... it scares me..."

"We've seen what that thing can do back at Coaltown!" Fem-Soldier adds. "So its best we ladies leave it to the gentlemen!"

That said, the FREDs retreated into the train cart, with Fem-Heavy dragging by the collar Fem-Scout who is struggling.

"Let me at him! Let me at him!" Fem-Scout continues to struggle, until Fem-Pyro whacked her in the head with the blunt side of her Fire Axe.

Fem-Heavy suddenly comes back out, and dragged the still-drunk Fem-Demo by her feet into the train cart.

After seeing the FREDs locking themselves inside the train cart, Soldier turned back toward the REDs.

"Alright, maggots! We're going to crack some cannibal skulls!"

...

Hunting down and actually defeating a Freak is a matter comparable to even thinking of arm wrestling Saxton Hale. That said, Painis Cupcake has somehow managed to knock out the power grid of Gravel in the thirty seconds he spent inside the compound alone, leaving the corridors barely lit except by the tiny bit of sunlight from outside.

"Engie..." Soldier told Engineer. "You stand guard right here with a Sentry Nest. This is the only way that Cupcake freak can escape."

"Alrighty then!" Engineer acknowledges, as he begins setting up a Dispenser and Sentry at the entrance. "Ah'll tell you when he comes toward me!"

"And Sniper, you cover Engineer from a safe spot..." Soldier then tells the Sniper. "Don't go for his head, since he just resisted one like he was Saxton Hale. Instead, just try to land a shot on him."

At that point, Sniper has already positioned himself behind a stack of barrels, Sniper Rifle lock-and-loaded.

As Soldier was about to give orders to Demoman, the black Scottish Cyclops inched his way slowly toward the entrance, and while still drunk, laid down a set of Sticky Bombs around the doorway. The position of the Stickies around the doorway made their effectiveness questionable, but at least acceptable. After laying down the Sticky Trap, Demoman laid on the ground drunk again, while muttering gibberish.

Soldier turned back toward the rest of the REDs. "Pyro, Heavy, Medic, you three are coming with me. Spy, you know what to do."

Spy immediately put on his cloak, and disappeared into a puff of smoke.

"Right..." Soldier said as he leads the way into the compound. "Let's crack some Freak skull..."

...

Location: The Bridge, NEW Team's Carrier Airship.

While the Mann Of Conspiracy is watching over the RED's progress through a holographic screen, some of the NEW Team mercenaries are at a corner of the Bridge, minding their own business.

Sailor and Inflictor are arm wrestling with both their hands simultaneously; Musician is playing a classical tune on his Weighted Violin; Ninja and Mage are playing their second round of Old Maid card game; and Recon is somehow making a remote-controlled toy racecar from just a pile of Refined Metal.

"So, Conspiracy-_Seongsang_..." Recon broke the silence while playing around with the RC toy racecar he just made. "What reward did you promise that... cannibal with? Surely it isn't a meal, no?"

The Mann Of Conspiracy did not turn around. He simply raised his right hand. _"Of course not, Recon. Let's just say its something none of your team have yet..."_

"And it is...?" Recon asked again.

_"Let's say... an upgrade..."_ The Mann casually replies.

The reply caused the present NEWs to drop their jaws. Sailor and Inflictor's double-arm wrestling resulted in the former winning the left hand and the latter the right within a split second; Musician not only broke note but drew the bow hard enough that one of the strings of the Weighted Violin snapped; Ninja and Mage freezing up (the latter quite literally) in surprise as the Old Maid cards slid out of their hands; and Recon's RC racecar crashed into a wall and somehow exploded in a small fireball.

"The brand-NEW Respawn-And-Ubercharge Nanomachines I've built to replace the REDs and BLUs' Respawn Modules and Ubercharging Hearts?" Recon exclaimed loudly. "You're giving him _that_?!"

The Mann Of Conspiracy put his hand down. _"Why not?"_

_Why not?_ These two words will forever be imprinted in Recon's mind in regards to how he sees his boss.

...

Location: Gravel Outpost.

Several minutes into the hunt in the now pitch black corridor, and the REDs still haven't found any sign of Painis Cupcake anywhere.

"Soldier..." Medic broke the silence. "Do you have anything personal regarding ze NEW Striker?"

Soldier grunted when he heard that question. "Nothing..." He responded calmly.

Heavy gently placed one hand on Soldier's shoulder. "Do not lie, Soldier. You have something personal going on..."

The WW2 veteran remained silent, as he looks around the pitch black corridor for any sign of Painis Cupcake.

Heavy dragged Soldier back a step or two. "Soldier has vendetta against Striker..." The massive Russian said.

"You have fought ze Nazis, Soviets and Japanese in World War 2. But back at ze briefing, you mentioned having met ze Striker in ze Korean War..." Medic tells Soldier. "You also said you want to make him _cease to exist_. Vhy?"

"I don't want to talk about it..." Soldier replied with anger building up in his tone.

"Is it because, like Nazi Germany, North Korea - who Striker is working for then - took something or someone important to you?" Medic delivered another question that struck it home.

Said armor-piercing question caused Soldier to go into an anger-fueled rage, in which he turns around and fired a volley of four rockets at the Medic. Thanks to the unexplainable mechanics of Friendly Fireproof, all four rockets passed right through the German doctor harmlessly as though he wasn't there.

Even Pyro is scared by the WW2 veteran's sudden rage, dropping the Flamethrower on the (thankfully fireproof) wooden floor. "Mmph?!"

"You see, _Herr_ Jane Doe..." Medic became all serious. "Vhy vill you become-fueled when asked such a question? Ze only explanation is zat you do have personal vendettas against Striker..."

Soldier grunted again, not responding for several seconds. Then...

"Okay, fine! But first we have some Freak skulls to crack!"

That said, Soldier led Heavy, Medic and Pyro deeper into the compound in search of Painis Cupcake...

...Not knowing that the Freak in question is currently hiding in the ceilings right above them, smiling quietly but insanely.

...

Location: RED Command Center, Gravel Outpost.

The REDs have already made their way into the Command Center, and there's still no sign of Painis Cupcake. Instead, there is the Scout, having just respawned, standing there while sulking.

"You seein' that?!" Scout said while pointing at his head. "He just freakin' bit my entire head off in one gulp!" He then grabs a Sandman baseball bat from nowhere. "I'm gonna bonk him!"

Before anyone could speak another word, the familiar sound of abnormally rapid shotgun clicks is heard echoing through the air vents. At the same time, an ominous music is somehow playing from out of nowhere.

"He's in the air vents!" Soldier said, as he pointed his Shotgun up above. The other REDs equipped their Secondary Weapons in response, with exception to Medic and Scout who equipped their Primary Weapons instead.

The echoing of rapid shotgun clicks continued to get louder with each passing second. Until...

...Painis Cupcake suddenly crashed through a vent lid, and landed on the floor on both feet. Soldier attempts to blast the Freak in the face with his Shotgun, but Painis manages to swipe it out of his hands before he can pull the trigger.

Medic fires his Syringe Gun at Painis. Though the syringes does hit him, the Freak doesn't even feel them as they bounced off his hide. Painis lunges toward Medic...

"Medic! Charge me!" Heavy shouted while brandishing Sasha the Minigun.

In what appeared to be two seconds, Medic switched to the Medigun, aimed it at Heavy, and deployed the Ubercharge, right at the moment Painis Cupcake pounced on him.

Hitting the Ubercharged German doctor bounced Painis several feet back.

"I AM BOOLETPROOF!" Heavy announced hammily, as he begins unloading Sasha on Painis while Ubercharged.

The volley of bullets caused the Freak to reel back and get pushed into a corner. Pyro used his Flamethrower to set Painis on fire, while Scout batted a Sandman Ball at the Freak's head to make sure he is stunned and thus cannot fight back while the others mow him down.

"CRY SOME MOAR!" Heavy said hammily once again, continuing to unload bullets after bullets into Painis...

...Until it suddenly runs out of ammo, along with the Ubercharge depleting.

"I am no longer charged!" Medic announced at the worst possible moment, causing all the present RED mercenaries to drop their jaws.

Painis seized this chance, and pointed a finger at Heavy and Medic. "If god have wanted you to live, he would not have created ME!" The Freak then proceeds to do a Taunt, and somehow Ubercharging himself without the means of a Medic on his side. The ominous music in the background has also been replaced with a very tense tune.

Seeing the Freak doing so caused the REDs to change their mind.

"RUN!" Soldier yells, as he runs out the hallway back toward the entrance.

The other REDs followed while yelling at the top of their lungs.

Painis Cupcake, Ubercharged, pursued his prey down the hallway.

...

Location: Train Yard, Gravel Outpost.

"Engineer!" Soldier called out while running toward the entrance with the other REDs, as Painis Cupcake continued to pursue them. "Get the Sentry ready! He's right behind us!"

The sound of a rapidly clicking shotgun tells the Engineer that its time for him to do his job. With one more whack of his Wrench, the Level 2 Sentry transformed into a Level 3.

As the REDs ran out of the entrance doorway, the Texan turned toward the approaching Painis Cupcake.

"Ah'm gonna take that dumb look right off your stupid face!"

Pulling a Wrangler from his inventory, Engineer aimed the beam, and by extension his Sentry Gun at the Freak, and fired.

Although the Sentry is unable to harm Painis (much less so when he's Ubercharged), it is able to slow him down quite a bit.

"Woo wee! Makin' bacon!" Engineer said happily.

But the Texan's smile faded when the Sentry ran out of ammunition, and Painis saw this as a chance to pounce on it, destroying it outright.

"I will eat you!" The Freak Soldier turned toward Engineer.

Engineer took a step back, scared of the monstrosity before him. But as soon as he sees Painis's self-Ubercharge depleting, "Demo!" He called out.

In response, the drunk black Scottish Cyclops suddenly stood up, "HA!" with the Stickybomb Launcher in hand, he arms the Sticky Trap he laid down on the same doorway earlier. "Ka-BEWM!" He proceeds to detonate the Stickies.

BOOM! All the Sticky Bombs went off simultaneously, enveloping Painis in a huge ball of fire that didn't do anything to Engineer due to the weird mechanics of Friendly Fireproof.

All the REDs watched the looming fireball erupting from just several feet away.

"That's what I'm talking about!" Scout said. As a form of taunting the cannibalistic Freak, he picked up the Buffallo Steak Sandvich and threw it into the fireball. The Steak instantly turned into charcoal literally upon touching the fireball.

"Oh, he's gonna glue himself back together... IN HELL!" Demoman comments in a drunken slur, and proceeds to fall back on the ground drunk.

"Now that's what I wanna see." Soldier said positively, but kept his Rocket Launcher aimed at the fireball anyway.

Sniper also kept his aim on where Painis Cupcake was standing prior to the explosion. "Have a plan to kill everyone you meet, especially Freaks..." The Astralian gunman told himself.

As the REDs continued to cheer, the familiar sound of a shotgun click can be heard, despite none of the mercenaries having their Shotguns out at the moment. Said shotgun click caused the REDs to stop cheering.

"Ah, piss..." Sniper deadpanned, foreseeing what is about to happen.

An all-too-familiar red streak emerged from the fireball, while emitting shotgun clicking noises, and is headed toward Sniper's position.

"Holy doolie!" The Australian panicked. Getting hold of a jar of Jarate, he threw it at the general direction of Painis Cupcake and, unfortunately, missed.

"I will eat you all and make medals out of your skulls!" Painis said furiously, as he stood up and prepared to pounce on Sniper.

Sniper panicked even further, and fired his Sniper Rifle at the Freak Soldier without even aiming. The shots either missed or bounced off him like he was Saxton Hale or something.

As Painis Cupcake approached Sniper, the cannibal's monstrous face displayed an evil smile. "I will eat you!"

Although someone else approaching from nowhere and meleeing the cannibal in the lower torso caused him to fall short of Sniper's position.

It was Fem-Scout, wielding the Boston Basher.

The female Bostonian approached Painis who was lying on the ground while groaning, and raised the Boston Basher, which she brought down on the Freak on _a specific spot_...

"I! Bonk! Your! Manhood!" Fem-Scout emphasized with each beat. "I bonk them all!"

The Freak laid on the ground, squealing in pain after... you should know why...

The REDs all watched with surprise. Particularly Scout, who dropped his jaw so far it might as well have penetrated the ground.

"Pretty ironic, considering his namesake..." Fem-Scout quipped.

The REDs turned toward the FREDs who are standing by the train cart they have locked themselves in earlier.

Fem-Soldier gave the gesture that translates into "She won't listen, and I have no choice."

Soldier face-palmed once, then turned his attention back on Painis Cupcake.

"What the...?!"

Soldier noticed that Painis Cupcake is wearing a Mercenary Badge that isn't imprinted with the Soldier Class Emblem (even though his shoulder emblem is still a Soldier Class's), but rather a jet black, unidentified emblem that has the words _"Newly Established Warpath"_ imprinted on the outer ring.

"Engineer..." Soldier told the Texan, right before he lifted his Shovel up to knock Painis Cupcake out cold. "Go check the database we've hacked into, and see if you find anything useful."

"Now what should we do with this wanker?" Sniper asked, pointing at the cannibal Freak on the floor.

"I've got some questions to ask him about..." Soldier said with a serious tone. "Seems that he might know the NEW Team's boss..."

...

Time: 1445 Hour.

Location: Basement, Gravel Outpost.

"Soldier, Ah've found the info about NEW Team you wanted!" Engineer passed a sheet of paper to Soldier while the two REDs are walking down a corridor under Gravel. "Turns out these so-called **N**ewly **E**stablished **W**arpath were founded shortly after we and the BLUs put an end to Gray Mann and his robots 50 years ago."

Soldier fetched the paper and began reading through it.

"Their boss, who calls himself the Mann Of Conspiracy, had personally handpicked each and every member of NEW Team!" Engineer continued his explanation. "You were right about Park-Joseon - The Striker being a former North Korean stormtrooper." He passed a sheet containing Striker's profile to Soldier.

"I mispronounced his name during that briefing?!" Soldier said in surprise. "His name is not Kim-Choson?"

"But the following surprised even me!" Engineer now passed the profile of The Recon to Soldier. "Jang-Hanguk, AKA The Recon is proven to be a lot smarter than I am. He was awarded a Nobel Technology Prize for making Nanotechnology possible, and Nanotechnology is the NEWs' version of the Respawn Module and also allowed them to Ubercharge themselves without the means of a Medic, or even a Medigun for that matter!"

"So I take it that NEW Team's gadgets are all made in South Korea, not Australia?" Soldier asks.

"And that's without Australium whatsoever!" Engineer responds. He passed yet another sheet to Soldier. "Even more surprising is Bernice, AKA The Mage. She's the one who caused the sinking of the _Titanic_ by accident, and is also responsible for the airline that disappeared just last year, this time under orders from the Mann Of Conspiracy!"

"What does this Mann want with the world?" Soldier wonders. He then stopped walking as he approached a spacious room that is lit by only one ceiling lamp. "But regardless, I am going to squeeze the answers out of this cannibal Freak.

Directly under the ceiling lamp is Painis Cupcake, tied up from neck to toe with nylon cord to a chair that is also bolted to the floor.

Heavy stood next to the Freak Soldier, with his Killing Gloves Of Boxing ready. "I am ready to cause pain to Painis Cupcake!"

Grabbing the bucket of water from the floor, Soldier threw it at the Freak with all his might.

After being splashed with a face full of water (and being clonked in the head with a bucket), Painis Cupcake woke up, and turned his sight upon Soldier, shotgun clicking noise emitted with the slightest movement.

"Listen up, you cannibalistic rip-off of me!" The WW2 veteran told the cannibal before him. "I know you are working for the boss of the Newly Established Warpath team! Tell me everything I need to know!"

Painis Cupcake just sat there, keeping his mouth shut for a few seconds, before he taunts Soldier by spitting at him.

Soldier calmly wiped the saliva off his face. He turned to face Heavy. "Do your job, big guy." He and Engineer then takes a step back.

Heavy proceeds to walk in front of the tied-up Freak, and punched him in the _very same_ specific spot that was beaten up by Fem-Scout earlier.

"Augh!" Painis yelped in response.

"Maybe I'm not clear enough, Freak..." Soldier said to Painis. "Tell me something about the NEW Team or their boss!"

Painis did not respond in anyway.

It didn't take Soldier giving an order for Heavy to deliver another three punches to Painis. The Freak cried out in pain with each punch.

"Ah'll give you an advice, buddy..." Engineer advices the tied-up Freak. "Normally you should be the one interrogating. But if you're the one being interrogated, you better give in to your opponent's demands. Especially Solly here, who interrogates in a _rather_ unique way..."

"That's right." Soldier adds in as he cracked his fists. "So tell me what I need to know..."

Painis decided to keep his trap shut once again.

"Heavy..." Soldier told the massive Russian who is doing the actual interrogation. "Punch him as many times as you want."

Heavy proceeds to do what he is told to. "Take this! And that! And this! And that!" Each and every punch that follows are directed at the same spot.

After a dozen punches or so, Painis Cupcake couldn't stand the interrogation anymore, and finally gave in. "Okay! Okay! I'll tell you everything you need to know about the Mann Of Conspiracy!"

The last three words caught the attention of Soldier. "Who _is_ the Mann Of Conspiracy?"

Painis had enough of the interrogation, and decided to just spill everything to Soldier. "That's what the leader of the so-called Newly Established Warpath calls himself. Nobody, not even the NEWs themselves know where he came from, or who he really is. He just came out of nowhere fifty years ago, and have been building up the NEWs just to be able to defeat you REDs. NEW Team is built solely for war, unlike the RED and BLU Teams which are exaggerated construction crews."

"Exaggerated?!" Soldier almost went berserk upon hearing that word, but quickly calmed himself down. "You are lucky that's irrelevant right now. So keep talking..."

Painis continued spilling info to Soldier. "The Mann Of Conspiracy hired me to come and deal with you all permanently, even offering a large sum of reward plus something he called an 'Upgrade'. I don't know his motives, but there's definitely something personal judging by the way he told me to 'end the REDs'..."

That caught Soldier and Engineer's attention. "Now why would he have personal business with us? The only possible explanation is that we must've met him before..."

"I have had my own personal businesses before, so I know when someone else's having it..." Painis continued. "Just like how you have one with one of the NEW mercenaries..."

Soldier didn't say anything this time. He knew who Painis is talking about.

"That's it. I swear that's all I know about the Mann who hired me. There is no point in interrogating me any further..." Painis finishes talking.

Soldier remained silent for a few more second, before he gestured at Engineer and Heavy, "Come on, we're done with him here..." and starts walking back toward the basement entrance.

"Mister Sergeant Jane Doe..." Painis Cupcake delivers one last sentence, which surprised Soldier even further due to its nature. "You have no idea what you and your friends are getting yourselves into..."

Soldier did not reply, as he continued walking away. Though the Freak's warning does send chills down Heavy and Engineer's spines.

Scout suddenly appeared in the basement, and walked past Soldier and the others.

"Jeez!" The Bostonian said to the still tied-up Painis Cupcake. "You are one ugly motherfu**er!"

Painis could only groan disappointingly in response to Scout's comment, and it was a legendary one coming from him.

* * *

**Afterwords**

Seems that we have an enigma in the form of the story's titular villain: the Mann Of Conspiracy. Nobody knows where he came from, or who he really is. He dared to hire Painis Cupcake as a hitman, and, if our favorite cannibal Soldier Freak's last sentence is anything to go by, is one heck of an antagonist.

And whoops! Aside from Fem-Scout being a Big Damn Heroine for the REDs, the FREDs goes largely absent in this chapter. I will remedy this in later chapters.

Nanotechnology, from South Korea... Looks like technologies in the year 2015 of the TF2-verse have advanced incredibly far...

Shout-out index:

"You are one ugly motherfu**er!" - Is it right to compare Painis Cupcake to a _Predator_?

That is all. _"Need a punchline here..."_


	7. Chapter 6: Newly Established Warpath

**Forewords**

This is the point where the plotlines will escalate into something few would imagine could ever happen in the world of _Team Fortress 2_.

Turn back, ye who seeks out fun and comedy here.

With that done, let's get back to the story proper...

* * *

**Chapter 6: Newly Established Warpath**

Time: 2330 Hour; 1st of July, 2015.

Location: The Bridge, NEW Team's Carrier Airship.

With the Carrier Aircraft currently landed in the middle of a pine forest and its engines turned off, the surrounding environment is completely silent save for the occasional hooting of owls.

Inside the Bridge of the Carrier Airship, the Mann Of Conspiracy can be seen looking at a series of videos and images that are displayed on holographic screens. One of these videos showed a Capture The Flag game that took place in 2Fort, with "_Reliable Excavation and Demolition_" printed in red texts on one of the forts being replaced with "_Newly Established Warpath_" in black blocky texts. In said video, NEW Team is shown on the scoreboard to have won the game 42-0 against BLU Team.

"So, Mr. Conspiracy..." The black-clad Sniper broke the silence. "It seems that Painis Cupcake has been defeated, and the REDs are holding him prisoner..."

_"I know."_ Was the Mann Of Conspiracy's answer.

"What will you do about it?" The jet-black Sniper asked again. "If the REDs learns anything about you from him, your plans will be flowing down the drain."

_"I know that too. And I will not have my revenge against them be foiled so soon..."_ The Mann answers again. _"Which is why I'm sending you and your... other friends to go retrieve Painis Cupcake..."_

The jet-black Sniper smiled creepily upon hearing that. "It's like Christmas morning..."

...

Time: 2345 Hour.

Location: Storage Shed, Gravel Outpost.

The Storage Shed of Gravel Outpost tripled as a storage shed, gym and of all things, a bedroom which the REDs and FREDs slept in.

"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!" Soldier can be heard sleep-talking to himself.

"Sandvich makez me stronk..." So is Heavy.

Scout is somehow able to juggle four baseballs at the same time while sleep-working, without dropping a single ball.

Engineer has a Sentry Gun next to his bunk bed just in case there's an intruder or assassin. The Sentry Gun scanned the Storage Shed over and over silently.

All of the REDs and FREDs are sleeping in their bunk beds in the Storage Shed, except for Fem-Soldier, who is standing guard by the basement entrance just outside the Storage Shed.

"For three years we have been hunting for that Cupcake Freak! And when we've finally caught the sonova-bitch, everyone else decides that it's a good idea to let me stand guard by myself!" Fem-Soldier mumbled to herself.

Fem-Soldier looked around the compounds of Gravel Outpost. Nothing seemed different from here.

"Next time they wake up, I'm gonna make all of them do a hundred push-ups while running around this compound on all-fours at the same time!" The female war veteran continued her mumbling. "And then I'll herd them all onto a boat, and beat the crap out of every single one!"

The sound of a shrub rustling can be heard coming from somewhere. Fem-Soldier was quick to grab hold of and aim her Direct Hit at the source of the sound, and fires.

Turns out that sound really did come from a shrub. The rocket flew over it and exploded against a solid wall.

"Must be one of those squirrels again..." Fem-Soldier told herself, and then puts the Direct Hit away.

As Fem-Soldier continued to stand guard over the basement entrance, she failed to notice that the same shrub appears to be moving on its own. The female war veteran remain oblivious to the moving shrub until it brushed past her feet. Only then did she notice something strange about this shrub.

"This is no squirrel..." Fem-Soldier told herself suspiciously. She leaned down to inspect the shrub...

...Only to suddenly drop dead on the ground, with a Huntsman arrow right through her head.

_Christian Brutal Sniper shot FRED Soldier in the head with his Huntsman._

In that instance, the alarm is raised all over the Gravel Outpost compound, and all of the mercenaries are jolted from their sleep.

"Darn!" Engineer cursed. "I've wired our security systems to our Respawn Module so that the alarm will be raised when one of us has been killed!"

"Which means we have an intruder!" Fem-Engineer continues the sentence.

_"Intruder alert! Unknown enemy is in the Basement!"_ The security system announced in The Administrator's voice.

In that instance, everyone dropped their jaws in realization.

"That intruder's gonna release that Painis Freak!" Scout exclaims.

"Then we have to stop him!" Soldier said, as he grabs his Shotgun. "Painis Cupcake is our only source of information about NEW Team and their boss!"

...

Location: Basement, Gravel Outpost.

Painis Cupcake, still restrained on the same chair in the middle of the Basement, just sat there with no attempts whatsoever to free himself. It's hard to tell if he's sleeping or wide awake.

KABOOM!

A loud explosion jolted the cannibal Freak to full consciousness, as he looked at the direction of the entrance.

The basement entrance has been blown open, and burning splinters laid near it, as a black-clad figure approached Painis slowly.

Painis could not identify the figure, but as he got closer, the cannibalistic Freak is surprised to see who it was.

"Christian?! What'cha doing here?!"

Christian Brutal Sniper simply summoned a Bushwacka from thin air, and chopped the restrains off Painis. "Rescuing you, of course. And let me tell you, mate, that the Mann is not very happy about your capture..."

Painis stood up, rubbed his wrists, and thought for a while. "So I guess I cannot go back to him anymore..."

The REDs and FREDs arriving and firing a barrage at the two Freaks snapped Painis out of his thoughts.

"And I know just where to hide you, mate." Christian said, before he threw a huge bundle of NEW Team-black Sticky Bombs at the wall behind Painis.

The bundle of Stickies adheres to the wall just as the REDs and FREDs, blocked off the Freaks' path to the basement entrance.

"This is just the beginning of the pain we will cause you..." Fem-Heavy taunted the Freaks.

"You're not going anywhere, chucklenuts!" Fem-Scout adds to the taunt.

Christian Brutal Sniper did not surrender. Instead, he pulled out what appears to be the snapped-off holster of a Stickybomb Launcher.

"G'day, mates." Christian quipped, before he pressed a small button on the snapped-off holster.

Said button was the button that detonates deployed Sticky Bombs, and that's exactly what it did.

The bundle of Stickies exploded in a huge fireball that knocked the REDs and FREDs off their feet. When the mercenaries recovered, they find a huge hole in the place of the wall it should have been, in which Painis and Christian jumped out of.

"Um... Piss..." Fem-Sniper deadpans at the sight while looking out of the hole. "Should've prepared ourselves for that wanker, Christian Brutal Sniper..."

Soldier threw himself out of the hole, and went after the escaping Freaks into the mountainside forest furiously.

Scout tries to follow the WW2 veteran, but was stopped by Fem-Soldier who had just arrived after respawning.

"Let him go after them..." The female veteran told the Bostonian batter. "As much as I want to keep Painis Cupcake as my prisoner, Solly's going after those two Freaks for personal reasons..."

...

Location: Mountainside forest near Gravel Outpost.

Soldier continued to pursue Painis and Christian through the thick pine forest that surrounded the Gravel Outpost, while firing his Rocket Launcher at the escaping Freaks. Painis's shotgun-clicking noise with each move he makes is annoying Soldier, but he tries to ignore it the best he could.

"I'm not gonna let you get away, cannibal!" Soldier called out furiously. "Not yet!"

Soldier fires a rocket that struck Painis right in the back of his head. But the explosion didn't hurt the cannibal Freak much, or made him flinch, as he and Christian continued running through the forest.

As the chase lasted several minutes, the two runners and their chaser soon came to a clearing in the middle of the forest. A camper van similar to Sniper's is parked in the middle of the clearing.

Soldier knew the purpose of that camper van, and aimed his Rocket Launcher at it. Unfortunately for him, there are no more rockets left in reserve. Furiously throwing the RPG away, the WW2 veteran took out his Shotgun and fired shots after shots at his target. "Stop right there, criminal scum!"

Painis Cupcake and Christian Brutal Sniper stopped running, and stood directly next to the camper van.

Painis slowly turned around to face Soldier. "Here's something you might want to know: the NEW Team's next game will be taking place at Gorge tomorrow noon..." The cannibal said, before he and Christian jumped backwards onto the roof of the camper van.

"Floor it, Spyper!" Christian shouted toward the inside of the vehicle.

As that is said, the camper van suddenly started to... fly? Soldier couldn't believe his eyes, but he still won't let Painis get away, if it means loosing all trails of the Mann Of Conspiracy in the process. The WW2 veteran unloaded shots after shots from his Shotgun at the flying camper van, with no success to his efforts. By the time the Shotgun runs dry, the flying camper van has already gone over the mountain pass and out of reach.

Furious that his only lead on NEW Team has escaped, Soldier threw his Shotgun on the ground so hard it broke in half. As he crouched down and starts punching the soil to vent off his steam, he noticed that Painis's Mercenary Badge was left where the cannibal Freak stood seconds ago. Soldier went and picked up the Mercenary Badge, which he dusts off with his fingers.

He turns the Badge on his back, and found a photo attached there via duct tape. The photo is of someone whose face is obscured by its extremely poor quality, but Soldier can tell straight away that the man on it isn't of any class, RED nor NEW.

"The Mann Of Conspiracy..."

...

Time: 0100 Hour; 2nd of July, 2015.

Location: Storage Shed, Gravel Outpost.

Soldier made his way back to Gravel Outpost slowly. When he got there, the entire RED and FRED Teams were standing by the entrance of the Storage Shed.

"I take it that he got away?" Engineer asked.

Soldier did not reply. He simply walked past his teammates and their female counterparts, but stopped short of the Storage Shed doors.

"Get some good night sleep, everyone..." Soldier said in a quiet tone, which is unusual for him. "We get briefed for our next mission at dawn..."

That said, the WW2 veteran pushed open the doors, and walked into the Shed without uttering a second word.

Everyone else present looked at each other, and nodded in acknowledgement. They knew what they would tell each other.

...

Time: 0900 Hour; 2nd of July, 2015.

Location: RED Command Center, Gravel Outpost.

Just as Soldier instructed last night, everyone gathered at the Command Center at precisely dawn.

"Listen up, gentlemen..." Soldier said to his teammates. "...and ladies..." He added as he reminds himself that the FREDs are also part of the REDs.

"Listening!" Scout and Fem-Scout both said in unison.

Soldier cleared his throat, and then begins the briefing. "As you all know, Painis Cupcake, our prisoner and only lead on the NEW Team escaped last night with a friend of his. Just before he left on his getaway... flying car, he told me that the NEW Team's next game will be held at Gorge, at noon..."

"Question: what game will be taking place there? And what team will be fighting the NEW wankers?" Came a question asked by Sniper.

"He just told me where and when, that's it..." Soldier answers, before he continues the briefing. "Anyways, since Gorge is just over the nearby mountain pass, we'll be able to get there within minutes even on foot. So here's the plan..." The WW2 veteran slams his fist on the desk. "We'll get to Gorge before the NEWs does, wait for the game to start, and quietly watch how those NEW numbskulls fight."

"But vhat if zey are already there?" Medic cuts off Soldier with a question.

"Medic raises a point here..." Soldier took note of the German doctor's question. "If the NEWs decided to not waste a single second, and are already waiting at Gorge, we'll stay out of sight until their game actually starts. Now we all know that Gorge can only run Control Point games, but try remember that in the decades since we've kicked Gray Mann and his robots' asses, we've played Control Point in Sawmill which used to only support Capture The Flag, and Payload in Nucleus which used to be Deathmatch only."

"So that means we shouldn't be expecting Control Point in their games at Gorge?" Engineer asked.

"Yes. For all we know, they could be playing Territorial Control there..." Soldier answers. "And that is all, team. Now let's get to Gorge right away!"

Pyro stood up and laughed maniacally while holding his Flamethrower over his head.

As the mercenaries left the Command Center, Soldier passed Painis Cupcake's Mercenary Badge to Engineer. "Get the photo attached to it processed. I need to know who the Mann Of Conspiracy really is...

...

Location: NEW Team's Respawn Room, Gorge.

In a sense, Soldier was right about the NEW Team mercenaries having already arrived at Gorge. However, the NEWs chose to spend their time in their Respawn Room before the game starts.

"And so, I used my flute as a blowgun and gave that Chinese _idiota_ a needle full of Cyanide!" Musician told his story to all of the NEWs. "Serves that _idiota_ right for throwing a rotten jackfruit at my face! Right, _compagno_?"

"Well, that tells the world that we Europeans take our jobs very seriously, bud!" Sailor throws in a comment while laughing about that story.

"_Oi_! We South Koreans took RTS games like _Starcraft_ very seriously!" Recon jammed his opinion straight into the conversation. He then turns slowly toward Striker who is standing alone in a corner. "Unlike our northern neighbors who took life and law a bit too seriously..."

Striker normally would have objected to statements like the one the South Korean just said, but surprisingly he ignored it completely.

"Which reminds me..." Musician remembered something. "...That jackfruit-Cyanide blowgun fiasco is how I lost my Italian citizenship. If I go back, the _Carabineri _have full permission to shoot me on sight..."

"Oh, that's nothing compared to when I accidentally jinxed a cruise ship to crash into an iceberg." Mage adds in.

Sailor instantly knew what Mage was talking about. "Wait, you're responsible for the sinking of RMS Titanic?

"Sorry if I offended you, Sailor." Mage apologizes. "But 92 was a pretty tough age for me..."

_"Attention, everyone..."_ The NEWs' conversation are interrupted by the Mann Of Conspiracy's pre-recorded message blaring out of the loudspeakers around Gorge. _"The game is about to begin. Please return to your team's Respawn Room if you haven't already, and make sure you have your desired load-out before the game begins, for changing your equipment mid-game is strictly forbidden. The upcoming game will be Capture The Flag. Thank you."_

"I have been waiting long enough..." Inflictor stated as she got up. "_Senor_ Striker, you should get ready as well."

It is now noticed that Striker is looking at a dog tag that he is holding in his left hand. The dog tag wasn't his, or any team's Scouts', for that matter...

The dog tag read: _Clara Doe, Lieutenant. DOB: 23-01-1899. Blood Type: O. Hometown: New York, USA. Participation: Normandy, France; Kuantan, Malaysia; Western Front, USSR; 38th Parallel, Korean Peninsula..._

"Still looking at that dog tag you took from an American soldier in the 38th Parallel?" Recon took note, and disturbed Striker's thoughts, whatever he was thinking at the moment.

The South Korean expected the North Korean to hit him. But surprisingly, Striker withheld the desire to attack Recon, not that the phenomenon of Friendly Fireproof allows it anyway.

"You should know, Jang Han-Guk, that this belonged to the niece of one of the RED Team's mercenaries..." Striker said stoically.

"Is that sympathy I sense from a North Korean?" Recon added sarcastically. "Never mind that. Three hours appear to have elapsed in minutes, so get ready."

...

Time: 1200 Hour.

The REDs and FREDs stood outside the zone of Gorge, waiting for the NEWs' game to start.

"Oh, for crying out loud! We've been here for two and a half hours!" Scout said impatiently. "If this suspense drags on, I'm gonna go bonkers!"

Fem-Scout grabbed Scout by the collar and dragged him back down. "At any rate, we're the ones going bonkers with your rants!"

"Speaking of which..." Soldier remembers something. He then turns toward the nearly-drunk Demoman. "Demo, try to keep your cool this time."

"The same goes for you too." Fem-Soldier said to Fem-Demo.

Of course, both Demos may be too drunk to actually remember what was told to them. Scotsmen and Scotswomen sure got drunk really quickly.

"Make yourselves comfortable, buddies..." Fem-Engineer told everyone. "Because we all know that games of Capture The Flag always drags on for a while no matter how unbalanced the opposing teams are."

...

Location: Thunder Mountain.

The same flying camper van that Painis Cupcake and Christian Brutal Sniper escaped on is seen parked in the first stage where the Payload Cart should have been.

"Now you take good care of yourself, mate..." Christian told Painis. "Freaks only hide here because they have bounties on their heads, or have failed the Mann Of Conspiracy."

"I have been taking care of myself for years. Of course I can." The cannibal Freak proclaims to the walking arsenal. "Now if you excuse me..."

Painis then proceeds to throw himself at a Spycrab that happens to be passing by.

Christian face-palmed in response, "Bloody whackjob..." and then boards the flying camper van again, which then takes off the ground and flies away from Thunder Mountain.

...

Time: 1430 Hour.

Location: Gorge.

As expected, the Capture The Flag game dragged on for a while.

WHT Team may have put up a good fight, but in the end they still lost the game at 0 points whereas NEW Team scored 42 and won flawlessly. The REDs and FREDs were a little bit surprised.

"I knew it..." Fem-Soldier said, as she snatches the quarter that Fem-Medic flipped into the air. "The NEWs scored their fifth Flawless Victory in a row. So far the only hit anyone of them have ever taken is when Fem-Pyro managed to set Recon on fire."

"But at least now we know how they lay out their opponents." Engineer said. "That South Korean rip-off of me has a Jammer that can disable and even prematurely drain Cloaks. So Spah, m'lad, you need to be careful 'round it."

"Understood." Both Spy and Fem-Spy acknowledges.

"That freakin' Ninja chick can outrun Scouts! Freakin' unbelievable!" Scout sulked about what he saw.

"Seems that the Mage's Primary Weapon automatically recharges after the first shot, but in exchange, can't pick up ammo from anything." Fem-Engineer analyzes. "Guess magic has its pros and cons."

The REDs and FREDs had to retreat back into the forest when the NEW mercenaries decided to regroup at the center Control Point (which is disables due to not being the right game). The NEW Team then starts a conversation, which is inaudible to the REDs and FREDs from this distance.

"Engie..." Soldier whispered to the Texan technician.

Engineer nodded, and silently produced a directional microphone from his toolbox, which he points at the direction of the NEWs while remaining hidden. Engineer had also tuned down the volume so the NEWs don't hear an echo of their own conversation.

_"The WHT Team mercenaries should have known better. I've dominated their Sniper twice!"_ Came the voice of Sailor, boasting about his achievement in the game.

"_What about that?_ _I scored a double Domination on the WHT Demoman and Pyro, whom were respectively Demo-Knighting and going W+M1 at that moment..."_ Came Ninja's response.

For a few minutes, all the NEW mercenaries except Striker boasted to each other about how they utterly stomped WHT Team. The REDs and FREDs almost got bored with the eavesdropping, until...

_"We have achieved our fifth Flawless Victory in a row, as_ Donji _Mann Of Conspiracy has instructed."_ Striker interrupted his comrades' conversation, and it was the North Korean speaking that drew attention from the REDs and FREDs.

The directional microphone cannot read physical actions, but Sailor appears to be scratching his head, judging by the sound. _"Oh, right. Thanks for reminding, Striker. Now what was the code again?"_

_"I believe it is the five letter word spelled T-O-B-O-R..."_ Came Recon's reminder. _"Mann Company policies states that the first team to achieve five Flawless Victories in a row will be permitted to buy items from the Mann Company Stores, as with the former RED and BLU Teams back in the early days..."_

_"Oh, great, now we finally have the rights to buy Supply Crate Keys!"_ Mage's adding in surprised the eavesdroppers a bit. _"Those Crates kept coming at random intervals ever since we defeated the RED boys!"_

_"You all can discuss about these useless cosmetics later..."_ Striker interrupts stoically. _"It seems that the WHT Team mercenaries were not the only ones present aside from us..."_

Hearing the North Korean's statement made all 18 eavesdroppers gulp, and in the case of Heavy, shit bricks.

"Bloody whackjob!" Sniper decided to stop hiding, and stood up. "JARATE!" Sniper has somehow managed to fill up a jar of Jarate without anyone noticing, and throws it at the direction of the NEW mercenaries. The fact that the Australian gunman managed to throw that far (like, from the edge of the map all the way to the exact center) is quite an impressive feat...

**!**

...That is, until Mage had intercepted it, and casted a Reflection Spell which reflected the Jarate like it was caught by an Airblast back at the REDs and FREDs.

The reflected Jarate splatters all over the REDs and FREDs.

"Ah, piss..." Fem-Sniper said in disappointment.

Alchemist then finishes it by performing a Attack Taunt, which summons a lightning bolt from the sky to strike the eavesdroppers, whom due to being covered in Jarate, took Mini-Crits from the Attack Taunt and got gibbed into several pieces.

_NEW Alchemist party-wiped RED Team and FRED Team with "Smite" Attack Taunt, with assistance from NEW Mage reflecting RED Sniper's Jarate._

"Jeez, give a break..." Mage sulked about it afterwards.

"_Yare-yare, da ze..._" Ninja said something in Japanese.

"Seriously, the _imbecille_ from RED are going _imbrogliare_?" Musician points out with slight anger.

Arsonist, who is unable to speak, opted to flip the middle finger at where the REDs and FREDs were standing earlier.

The Carrier Airship arrives at the Gorge facility, cueing the NEWs that it is time for them to leave.

_"Congratulations, NEW Team. For achieving your fifth Flawless Victory in a row, you have impressed Mann Co enough to be permitted access to their store!"_ Came an announcement by the Mann Of Conspiracy through the intercoms.

As that is said, the NEWs are then beamed aboard the Carrier Airship, which then departs from Gorge into the distance.

...

Location: RED Command Center, Gravel Outpost.

Of course, getting total-party-Taunt-killed is not a big deal for the REDs and FREDs, thanks to the magic of Respawn. Both teams Respawned at Gravel Outpost just a few minutes later.

"Good work, Sniper!" Soldier gave Sniper a pat on the shoulder. "Attacking them so as to make them think we're ambushing them instead of eavesdropping!"

"Sniper is credit to team." Heavy adds in.

Clearing his throat, Soldier begins the second briefing of the day. "So from what we've learned about the NEW numbskulls..."

The WW2 veteran then gestures to Engineer to turn on the projector. Fem-Engineer did it before Engineer can.

Soldier continues his briefing, as he points at the projected screen. "I'll just focus on the ones that can't be taken in a straight fight..."

"Let's start with the Ninja this time. This Japanese girl is faster than a normal Scout, but in exchange, has less Health, as seen with how she simply avoids all encounters with WHT Team's Soldier and Demoman. Although she's not very good at ranged combat, she's even better at close-ranged hit-and-run than a Demo-Knighting Demoman, and that's without any sort of shields or shoes. She is very hard to hit with guns, so calculate her trajectory carefully, and aim in accordance. She's very fast and is good at melee combat, so if she gets close to you, don't bother to run as none of us can outrun her, not even with Hype-mode Baby's Face Blaster, or the Gloves Of Running Urgently, or me with the Escape Plan at 1 Health. One more thing to note about Ninja is her 'Seppuku' Kill-Taunt. It comes out even faster than Heavy's 'Quick-Draw' at just 3 seconds, and instantly kills whoever happens to be standing right behind her, as demonstrated by the WHT Spy."

"Then it seems that Backstabbing Ninja is a near-suicidal move..." Spy comments.

"Now moving on to the Musician. This Fascist Italian is not very good at dishing out direct damage, but his Blowgun Flute can Poison anyone it hits, and Poison is even nastier than Bleeding, Fire, Stun and Jarate, as it somehow makes you move left when you wanted to go right, et cetera. His Funeral Trumpet is so high pitched that any opponents hearing it will be subject to Mini-Crits until they stop hearing it, but thankfully it is unable to actually dish out direct damage. The Weighted Violin is self-explanatory..."

"What an insult to European music!" Fem-Medic gives her comment.

"Up next is the Recon, who is basically Engineer as a South Korean nerd. His Mini-Tesla is able to shoot constant streams of electricity at everyone passing by, at any direction, and at Level 3, doing damage faster than Medic can heal. Normally we'll just get Spy to Sap his buildings, but Recon counters this with the Jammer, a building that can force opposing Spies out of Cloak or Disguise, and prevents them from doing so for as long as they are near one. And then there's the Beacon, which is like a Dispenser on steroids. Anyone standing next to a Level 3 Beacon heals so fast he or she might as well be invincible barring Headshots, Backstabs and Kill-Taunts, and then there's the fact that it charge up Crit-Buffs in 1 minute, which can then be deployed to all nearby allies by the Recon whacking it once with his Hammer. Speaking of the Hammer, he can swing it as fast as Scout, allowing him to build and repair faster than any Engineers.

"If this guy is with us, Ah'll be cast aside like I was nothing!" Engineer complains.

"The rest of them can be summed up like this: Mage doubles as a Medic and Soldier, Sailor doubles as a Soldier and Heavy, Arsonist doubles as a Scout and Demoman, Alchemist doubles as a Sniper and Pyro in terms of firepower, Inflictor doubles as Sniper and Demoman, and then..."

"The Striker!" Pretty much everyone mentioned the NEW mercenary at the same time, out of disgust. Soldier even more so due to personal matters.

"This bastard from North Korea is quite overpowered for a Support Class. He is as fast as Scout, can take as much hit as Heavy, and with his stock load-out, perform Headshots with the Assault Rifle, and Backstabs with the Combat Knife... He basically quadruples as a Scout, Heavy, Sniper and Spy..."

"Freakin' unbelievable!" Fem-Scout complains.

"Bloody hell!" So did Fem-Sniper.

"If zat is ze case, how will we plan on defeating ze NEW Team?" Fem-Medic raises a question.

Soldier turns off the projector himself. "With the skills we have right now, there's no way we can beat the NEWs, even with special weapons. We'll have to raise our skill level to their equal first..."

"But how will we expect to do that?" Fem-Soldier raises yet another question.

Soldier touched his chin as he starts thinking of something. He then turns toward Engineer. "Engie, have you finished repairing the train engine?"

Engineer gave a thumb-up t the WW2 veteran. "Aside from some missing paint job, everything is A-Okay."

Soldier nodded in acknowledgement. He have his answer to Fem-Medic's question.

"Okay, people, here's the next part of our plan. We'll take the recently repaired train to a station only I know about. There, we'll meet someone that might be able to help us with our plan to defeat the NEWs and their boss. I used to laugh at his different tactics back then, but now I think he may have been right, after all..."

Scout raises a hand. "Um... Who is this guy you're talkin' about?"

"THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" Demoman suddenly shouts in a drunken stupor, prompting the not-as-drunk Fem-Demo to shut him up by whacking his head with his own Bottle.

"He and his buddies came to America to hide themselves from the Communist government of China. Now based solely on the fact I mentioned them as being from China, you guys might call them unimaginative Chinese rip-offs of us. But right now, with Mann Co being changed into something else entirely by the NEWs' boss, he and his team are pretty much the closest thing to the original Mann Co we have left in this world." Soldier gives a straight answer.

The rest of the REDs and FREDs tried not to frown, for they knew what Soldier is talking about.

"You could say that he's my Chinese 'cousin'. He's called The Rocket..."

* * *

**Afterwords**

Woo, now the REDs and FREDs learned how the NEW mercenaries fight. Problem was, the NEWs outclassed them completely, which means they have to improve their skills to be able to take on the Striker and his multi-national _Donji_ (North Korean equivalent of the USSR's "Comrade"). Who does Solly plan on asking for help?

You Americans might hate me for mentioning this, but it's The Rocket from_ Final Combat_, which is pretty much a Chinese rip-off of _Team Fortress 2_...

...So I thought: why not make the two games share the same universe? Hope you don't kill me for this, because _even the Chinese fandom_ prefers TF2 over FC...

T-O-B-O-R. Does that seem familiar to you?

The fact that even _Painis Cupcake_, of all people, are afraid of going back to the Mann Of Conspiracy tells us that he could be very horrible indeed. Looks like Painis was right when he warned Soldier "You have no idea what you are getting yourself in to..."

Shout-out index:

**!** \- "_Metal Gear_?!"

_"Yare-yare da ze..."_ \- You might not get this if you don't understand Japanese, but this came from the line that made the "ze" verbal tic famous in _Touhou Project_. Didn't expect a _Touhou_ reference? Well, there'll be more in later chapters.

That is all. _"Poot punchline here..."_


	8. Chapter 7: From China With Love

**Forewords**

Okay, let there be a friendly crossover between _Team Fortress 2_ and _Final Combat_.

Do note that since the FC Team are all Chinese, expect most of then to either speak in incredibly broken English (_Asian spekee Engrish_), or entirely in Mandarin (_ZhongGuo ren bu hui YingWen_ [Chinese don't understand English]).

Don't worry about me getting the Chinese grammar wrong. I'm from a country that has Chinese as a secondary language, so I won't be needing Google Translate when I write Chinese. Although the lack of a Chinese writing software on my PC means that I'll be typing the Mandarin sentences in _PinYin_ only...

* * *

**Chapter 7: From China With Love**

Time: 1545 Hour; 2nd of July, 2015.

Location: Camp Coolie, approximately 8 kilometers from Gravel Outpost.

The trip to the alleged "secret location" that only Soldier knows took one hour and 15 minutes by the Mann Express train that Engineer had only finished repairing not too long ago. When the REDs and FREDs arrived there, all they see were a pile of junks arranged into the shape of makeshift buildings.

There is also a Conscientious Objector that said "Keep Out" stuck on the ground next to the obviously-makeshift train station. It was quickly noted that despite the text on the sign being English, the text themselves appeared to be written with Chinese calligraphy pen, complete with the smell of Chinese writing ink.

"It was I who suggested Rocket and his team to hide here back then..." Soldier told his teammates. "This is a Payload map that never finished construction, and was soon forgotten by the Mann Brothers completely. It doesn't exist anywhere in Mann Co's database, so I figured it'll be perfect as a hideout for them..."

The team looked around the junk piles.

"Even I have to admit... my bedroom back home is tidier than this place..." Scout comments on the untidiness of the piles.

"Of course, being asylum seekers from China, tidiness was the last thing they have on their mind..." Soldier added in, as he approaches the piles.

The REDs and FREDs followed. Being cautious of attacks, they all have their Secondary Weapons ready on hand.

Nothing else had appeared in the junkyard for minutes. That is still the case when the mercenaries walked into a clearing that was made by the surrounding building-shaped piles of junks to resemble a plaza.

"Where is everyone, anyway?" Engineer decided to disturb the silence. "Been here for a while now, and still not even a single footprint beside ours..."

"Head-on greetings were never the thing for the Chinese people, anyway..." Soldier replies.

And then without warning, a Fire Axe was thrown from somewhere among the junk piles, and landed blade-first right next to Soldier's left boot.

Several meters in front of the team is a man, who looked pretty much like Soldier with a differently-patterned default outfit. Most notable was the man's firefighting helmet.

"Ba ShuoYou WuQi Dou Pao Dao DiMian Shang!" [Drop all your weapons on the ground!] He threatened in Mandarin, with a clear Mainland Chinese accent, while pointing an unidentifiable Rocket Launcher-type weapon at the teams.

Fem-Scout attempted to fire her Pistol, but Soldier stopped her.

"I got this, guys..." The WW2 veteran said.

Soldier did as the Chinese mercenary said, and dropped all three of his weapons on the ground, while slowly approaching him.

"Listen up, pal..." Soldier suddenly quips, causing a confusion amongst the REDs and FREDs. "We use weapons to make peace..."

The Chinese mercenary just stood there for a few seconds. Then he lowers his weapon.

"...But some use them to escalate wars." The Chinese mercenary continues the sentence, in an accented but clear English.

Getting the response he expected, Soldier displayed a smile on his lips.

"Long time no see, Rocket." He greeted.

The Chinese mercenary, identified as Rocket, put his weapon away, and greeted as well. "It has been a while, Soldier."

Soldier and Rocket proceeds to give each other a friendship hug.

"So what brings you here, friend?" Rocket asked.

Soldier points at the REDs and FREDs behind him. "These are my teammates, and we all need your help with a plan of ours..."

The REDs and FREDs all lowered their weapons.

"Uh... hi?" Scout greeted in an unsure tone, waving his right hand at the same time.

Rocket eyed Soldier's team, then back at Soldier himself. "What kind of plan required you to ask for help from me?"

"Mann Co has been taken over by a new team that successfully scored a Flawless Victory against us. They are called - not to be punny - the NEW Team. NEW, as in the acronym for Newly Established Warpath, and we need your help kicking their ass."

Rocket thought of something for a moment. "Are they worse than the OWNs from 30 years ago?"

Soldier gave a straightaway answer that made things self-explanatory. "The NEWs are so powerful, they made the OWNs look severely underequipped in comparison!"

"Well, they must be, if even people like you think they are quite powerful..." Rocket said. He then hand-signals Soldier and his teammates to follow him. "Come on, my friend. Me and my team will need to know more about this Newly Established Warpath before we can help you. Let us go to the bunker where its impossible for even an OWN Spy to eavesdrop on us..."

...

Rocket have lead Soldier and his team toward a stairway that lead underground. Said stairway was located in a shoddily-made wall-less shack with a roof made of Conscientious Objectors and Pain Trains nailed together. Standing guard on the roof were two people who might be Rocket's teammates.

"By the way, I figured we cannot call ourselves the Chinese REDs due to the plagiarizing tendencies of our former employers in China..." Rocket added as he leads the REDs and FREDs near the stairway. "After several days of discussion with Fatman - one of my team member you saw on the roof of this shack - I have decided that my team shall go as the Final Combatants, or FC Team if you prefer..."

Heavy looked at FC Fatman who is standing on the roof of the shack right now. "Giant man, with giant rip-off..."

Sniper took a look at the woman that is standing next to Fatman. "Bloody Chinese rip-off of me, mates!"

Amusingly, it would appear that both Fatman and FC Sniper do not understand English. Though they do react to Heavy and Sniper's reactions by turning toward each other and saying something which is unintelligible from this distance.

...

Location: FC Team's Bunker, Camp Coolie.

Within the safety of the FC Team's bunker, Soldier told the full details of his story to Rocket. From when the RED Team first engaged the NEW Team, to when the NEWs' boss - the Mann Of Conspiracy - took over Mann Co and turned it into something else. Of course, Soldier did not leave out what he has in mind for the NEW Striker.

"Are you sure its not my team's Striker, or the Chinese BLUs'?" Rocket wanted to confirm the detail regarding the person in question.

"A hundred percent..." Soldier clarifies. "The Striker you know is the Chinese rip-off of Scout. The NEW Striker is an original class who hails from North Korea..." He proceeds to describe the NEW Striker's physical appearance the best he can.

At about the same time, both Pyro and Fem-Pyro are in the background, trying to impress Firebat by playing air guitar on their Fire Axe. Strangely enough, Firebat, despite being a borderline Chinese copy-pasting of Pyro (right down to the gas mask and lack of understandable speech), is sane enough that he isn't amused by such a strange act.

"The Striker, from North Korea?" The detail caught Rocket's attention. "I may have seen him on the headlines of a newspaper mentioning him..."

Soldier tries his best to stay calm upon hearing that statement. How he would react, had he not calmed down, is easily guessed by Medic, who is watching from one side of the room.

"Can I see that newspaper?" Soldier asked as best as he could.

Rocket walked toward the table in the middle of the room, and lifted the map on it off, as he removes an old newspaper from it. "It was an old newspaper, anyway. You can keep it if it helps you..."

Soldier snatched the newspaper from the Chinese mercenary's hand, and read through the text of the weathered and crumpled paper.

_"__French editorial _Charlie Hebdo _attacked by two gunmen from North Korea. Gunmen's motives alleged to be the mocking of former North Korean leader Kim Il-Sung in a comic strip."_ so says the headlines, complete with a blurry photo of the two gunmen in question.

Although the photo is blurry, Soldier immediately recognized one of the gunmen to be NEW Striker.

"That's him!" Soldier showed Rocket the photo, and pointed a finger at the Striker. "He was in France half a year ago! Bastard took a temporal leave from NEW Team just so he can help his home country one last time!"

Soldier notices that the next news is also a headline, from a newspaper that is printed in a several years ago (right on the 9-11 Attack), attached to the current one with cellophane tape.

_"United Airlines jet liners hijacked by North Korean assassins, and rammed into World Trade Center and The Pentagon. FBI believes that the attacks are spearheaded by notorious North Korean official named Park Joseon."_ Such is the headlines on the dreadful day of 9-11. Yet another blurry photo is shown.

"See!" Soldier pointed at one of the people in the crowd pictured. That face was Strikers. "It didn't occur to the FBI that he was right there that very day!"

"I believe you should read the next article, friend..." Rocket told the WW2 veteran. "It's not a headline, but a piece of information the Chinese government acquired when they hacked America last month..."

The third article reads, in Rocket's handwriting by regular pencil: _"SEAL Team Six: Mission in Taiwan is a failure. Park Joseon knew we were coming, and have already escaped when we reached his hideout. We ended up shooting his double instead..."_

"The one information about that operation the Obama Administration refused to publicize under any circumstances..." Rocket added in, with his own disappointment in the tone.

Soldier just stared at the third article for a full minute without saying anything. But the other REDs, including both Scouts and Pyros, stopped fooling around and took several steps away from the WW2 veteran.

And then Soldier basically exploded in a fit of rage.

"Those goddamned idiots calling themselves the United States Armed Forces!" Soldier shouted in a raging fit as he crumples up the articles into a ball and throws it at a random direction, which FC Mechanic (Chinese plagiarism of Engineer) who happens to be standing in that direction nonchalantly dodges by stepping out of the way.

At this point, Fem-Soldier decided to just tell the REDs and FREDs to "Leave Solly alone for a few minutes, boys and girls..." and escorts them all out of the bunker.

"They have he opportunity to end him, and the anti-America operations spearheaded by the North Korean government. Yet they screwed up and let him escape!" Soldier continued with his fit of rage. "And I was with them when they stopped Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan! When did they degrade so much?!"

"I might partially understand how you feel, Soldier..." Rocket tries to calm the WW2 veteran down. "The Chinese government weren't faring very well against North Korea either. After all, there is no such thing as total perfection."

That seemed to do the trick, as Soldier's fit of rage ended right there. "You are right. No one is perfect in everything, not even Chuck Norris..."

Rocket gave Soldier a congratulatory pat on the shoulders. "And that applies to the NEW Team too. Which brings us back to why you're here in the first place."

"Yes, to get from you regarding our operation against NEW Team and the Mann Of Conspiracy." Soldier added in.

...

And so, the REDs and FREDs spent the rest of the day watching a drill that Rocket conducted for the entire FC Team. The REDs and FREDs took note on how vastly different FC Team's combat strategies were from their own.

The drills included the Chinese rip-offs of Payload, Capture The Flag, Deathmatch, Control Point, King Of The Hill, Territorial Control, and for some reason, with the addition of Dodgeball (turns out Firebat was worse at Airblasts than Pyro), Crabmod (they used reprogrammed Spy Robots for this mod-game since the Chinese don't have a version of Spy), Balloon Race, Hidden (once again using a Spy Robot), and Versus Saxton Hale (the "Hale" in question is obviously an animatronic stand-in, but the REDs are not sure who the Chinese rip-off of Saxton Hale is).

"I guess zat is vhy ze Chinese think of zemselves as ze most powerful in the world..." Medic makes an offhand comment on the Chinese mercenaries' combat styles, as he takes note on how FC Medical (a very strange rip-off of Medic himself, and is a girl) micromanages between Rocket, Firebat and Fatman all at the same time.

The REDs and FREDs continued to watch the drill and take notes of the important factors. One irrelevant thing they did take note of is how the Chinese mercenaries all spoke their lines (excluding Dominations, which the Chinese didn't have) in Mandarin.

"If only we understand what they are saying, mates..." Fem-Sniper makes her own offhand comment about it.

In the background, the Responses of the various FC Team members echoed through Camp Coolie as the drill went on. "Wo Bei DianRan La!" [I am on FIRE!] So came Rocket's Response of being on fire.

"Ah've noticed that the Chinese seems to be not protected from Friendly Fires, seeing as how FC Sniper accidentally team-killed Firebat and Mechanic multiple times." Engineer points out. "That, and how outdated their Respawn System is. Ah' mean, come on! Free invincibility for ten seconds upon respawn?"

...

Time: 2115 Hour.

Later that night, Rocket offered the REDs and FREDs to spend the night at Camp Coolie after all the notes-taking and the trainings they have spent the entire afternoon doing.

While Soldier and Rocket were outside chatting, everyone else were fast asleep inside the bunker, save for Scout and Fem-Scout who were being kept awake by someone's loud snore.

"Aw, jeez!" Scout complains, as he got up from his bunk bed in anger. "That freakin' Heavy is at it again! I'm gonna bonk him!"

"Game on!" Fem-Scout agrees.

The two Bostonian batters grabbed their Sandman bats, and approached Heavy's bunk bed, ready to launch Sandman balls at his face...

...Only to find out that the massive Russian is also wide awake.

"Not me this time..." Heavy told Scout, knowing what he's going to do with that Sandman.

"Wait. If big guy isn't the one snoring, then where's the freakin' snore comin' from?" Scout wondered.

The three wide-awake mercenaries quickly pinpointed the origins of the snoring: FC Fatman.

"Aw, jeez!" This time, it was Fem-Scout complaining about the situation.

...

Location: Outside FC Team's Bunker, Camp Coolie.

"So, Rocket, what happened to FC Striker?" Soldier asked his Chinese friend. "Didn't see him anywhere with the rest of your team..."

Rocket just stood there for awhile of the answer for Soldier's question. "You can blame North Korea for that..."

"NEW Striker?" Soldier takes on the meaning of the answer.

"Not directly..." Rocket adds another answer. "It was about 30 years ago, one month after you smuggled me and my team into America, and hid us in this abandoned Payload map. It was out of the blue when we were attacked by North Korean assassins who followed us all the way here. The North Koreans, sent by Park Joseon aka NEW Striker were not playing by the rules of the games, and was so overwhelming that FC Striker gave up his Respawn Module to stop them and keep the exact location of Camp Coolie a secret."

"That bastard..." Soldier muttered under his breath. "You were lucky that he never learned about the exact whereabouts of Camp Coolie..."

...

Location: The Bridge, NEW Team's Carrier Airship; over Mann Co HQ.

Unbeknownst to both the WW2 veteran and the Chinese fireman-turned-mercenary, they were being eavesdropped by a spy satellite that was deployed by the Mann Of Conspiracy.

_"You were lucky that he never learned about the exact whereabouts of Camp Coolie..."_ Soldier's voice echoed from the live bird's eye view footage of his location on a holographic screen.

It just so happens that the NEW mercenaries have not gone to sleep yet, and all of them, including NEW Striker were there watching the same footage as their boss.

"Jogeumdo..." [Damn...] Striker cursed in Korean upon being reminded of a past operation which he failed his home country with.

_"And so the REDs, FREDs and... this Chinese rip-off called FC Team all think they are safe in an abandoned Payload map that Redmond and Blutarch have all but forgotten..."_ The Mann Of Conspiracy, sat on his throne-like chair as usual, comments. _"Well, I believe I have a remedy for it..."_

Recon stood forward, seemingly expecting to be sent on another mission. But was quickly stopped mid-step by Sailor putting an anchor in front of the South Korean technician.

"Maybe not this time, kid." The British mercenary told him.

The Mann Of Conspiracy raised an index finger for the NEWs to see. _"Of course, Mr. Punchman. I'm sending something else after the REDs and their newest allies..."_

That statement sent chills down Inflictor's spine. "Who or what are you taking about, _senor_?"

The Mann Of Conspiracy rests his mechanical hand down. _"Why, of course, the man who is self-proclaimed to be better than Chuck Norris in every way..."_

...

Time: 0400 Hour, 3rd of July, 2015.

Location: Camp Coolie.

Two hours before dawn, Scout walked out of the bunker after having enough of Fatman's snoring (Fem-Scout stuffed her ears with chewing gum while Heavy quickly learned to block it out).

"Freakin' snoring Chinese fatass..." The Bostonian batter complained under his breath. He kicked a small pebble from the ground, which is launched toward a trash can filled with Holy Mackerels, and produced a soft ping on impact. "None of this would've happened if it wasn't for the freakin' NEWs!"

Scout is quickly interrupted by a series of rapid footsteps echoing softly around the abandoned Payload map.

"What the hell was that?!" Scout exclaimed, as he raises his Atomizer bat in response.

Another series of footsteps. This time slightly louder.

"This better not be 'nother one of those Freaks!"

The footsteps occurred again. This time it is audible enough that Scout had chills down his spine for he found the sound very familiar.

"I haven't heard that sound for 50 years..."

A loud thud is then heard coming from above the roof of the Bunker. Scout looked up...

...And saw what can best be described as a pair of glowing red eyes that stands out in the star-lit but moonless night sky. And it is looking straight at him.

"You have got to be kidding...!"

...

Everyone in the Bunker - the REDs, FREDs and even the FC Team mercenaries were woken up by the loud noise of something trashing right outside the Bunker.

"That has never happened before, even before Saxton Hale and The Administrator kicked us out..." Soldier said, as he grabs his Shotgun and cocks it once. "Even Scout and Pyro are sensible enough to not do this..."

"He's right..." Fem-Soldier said, and did the same thing. "This can only mean that some enemy maggots are out there!"

...

The REDs and FREDs all rushed out of the Bunker at once, while FC Team went to the roof of the Bunker to give the REDs support fire if needed. Everyone had their Primary Weapons out.

What they saw before their eyes sent so much chills down their spine they might as well be frozen solid.

"Tian Ah..." [Oh my god...] The Fatman, FC Sniper and Mechanic all uttered in Mandarin.

Holding Scout by his neck with his feet dangling a meter off the ground, is a mechanical humanoid with a gray color scheme, and metallic pecks that would've rivaled what Saxton Hale has...

...But as Sniper and Fem-Sniper takes a close look at the machine's face with the scope of their Sniper Rifles, they saw, behind the glowing red eyes, what appears to be a partially organic face...

...The face of Saxton Hale himself. The chest portion where the Australia-shaped chest hair should be is instead replaced by a slab of metal that has _Mann Of Conspiracy_ etched on it.

"Holy doolie!" Both Australians exclaimed in surprise.

The mechanical beast bearing half of Saxton Hale's face released its iron grip on Scout, who drops onto the ground on his back, while struggling to get his breath back.

"Ze Mann Of Conspiracy has done it!" Medic and Fem-Medic both exclaims at the same time. "He has created a cyborg! With a type of metal not on ze Periodic Table!"

"No, not just any cyborg!" Scout regained his stamina and told his teammates. "I can tell that this monster is Saxton Hale himself, and the Mann Of Conspiracy practically turned him into a Borg!"

The mechanical beast tries to crush Scout's head with his feet. Scout rolled out of the way before the attack connects.

"The real CEO of Mann Co?!" It was Rocket's turn to exclaim. "What has the NEW Team done to him?!"

The mechanical beast does a Kung-Fu stance as a Taunt of some kind.

_"Let's get this party started, mates!"_ The mechanical beast spoke with a digital version of Saxton Hale's voice. His mouth moved differently than what he speaks, though.

Spy noticed this, and decides to quickly tell Soldier about it. "Soldier, it appears that _Monsieur_ Hale's mouth is spelling something other than what he has just said. I learned to read someone's lips in the past 50 years..."

"Make it quick, Frenchie..." Soldier said in an urgency, as he begins loading the Beggar's Bazooka with rockets.

Spy makes use of his lip-reading skill to spell out what the mechanical beast's organic mouth is actually saying.

"_'Kill me, please...'_ Is what _Monsieur_ Hale is trying to tell us as he resists the controls of the Mann Of Conspiracy. And he is very serious about it..."

_Freak Fortress game initiated. You are now fighting: **Saxton Hale Robot**._

* * *

**Afterwords**

Yep, that's one heck of a plot twist there. The Mann Of Conspiracy has used the powers of Anythium (See "Chapter 4: You're Fired... Literally!") to turn Saxton Hale himself into a mechanical puppet under his control! And judging by what Hale is mouthing to the REDs, FREDs and FC Team, it seems that the part of Hale not under the Mann's controls wants the mercenaries to kill him!

And so a Freak Fortress game begins, with the _Final Combat _Team getting dragged into the mess with it...

Shout-out index:

**From China With Love** \- Or if you would, _From Russia With Love_.

"...Practically turned him into a Borg!" - "Resistance is futile." ~The Borg, _Star Trek_.

That is all. _"Punchline goin' up...__"_


	9. Chapter 8: Go Down With A Fight

**Forewords**

So, here we are, the first boss fight in the story, done in the style of a Freak Fortress game...

...With Saxton Hale as the first boss, no less...

And joining the RED Team are the mercenaries of _Final Combat_, a Chinese rip-off of _Team Fortress 2_...

* * *

**Chapter 8: Go Down With A Fight**

Time: 0415 Hour; 3rd of July, 2015.

Location: Camp Coolie.

_Freak Fortress battle initiated. No Respawns! You are now fighting: Saxton Hale Robot!_

*RIP!*

Without breaking a robot-sweat, the Saxton Hale Robot literally ripped Scout's head right off his shoulders.

_"Give me your face!"_ The Saxton Hale Robot announced hammily, even though his mouth wasn't even moving.

The rest of the REDs, along with the FREDs and FC Team aimed their Primary Weapons and fired at the mechanical macho. But the Saxton Hale Robot's mechanical body is so tough even a _Crit-Rocket_ hardly did any damage to him.

"Split up, gentlemen... and ladies!" Soldier shouted at everyone else. "He's definitely fast and tough, but there's only one of him and 25 of us!"

Of course, since most of the Chinese FC Team mercenaries don't understand English, Rocket had to translate it for them. "ShanKai!" [Spread out!]

With spreading out in mind, the three teams split up and ran off toward every direction, hoping to at least slow down the rate at which the Saxton Hale Robot kills off everyone.

"We better be careful, boys and girls. Scout has yet to Respawn, and I think he won't ever unless we win this fight." Soldier told everyone right before they split up.

...

"Eat my dust!"

Fem-Scout flipped off the Saxton Hale Robot as the latter chased the former over the garbage piles of Camp Coolie.

The mechanical combatant's weight and pure badassery was enough to spawn a crater wherever he lands after each hop.

"You'll never grab me! You'll never grab my tiny head! So tiny you're not gonna grab he with your bare hands!" Fem-Scout continued to taunt the Saxton Hale Robot while running away from him at the same time.

At one point, the female Bostonian batter launched a Sandman ball that hit the Saxton Hale Robot square in his head. But because the baseball didn't travel far enough, the mechanical combatant is merely unable to attack, he can still run and chase someone.

"Come on! I dare ya: rage quit! Make us both happy!" Fem-Scout taunted once more, as she tries to jump onto another pile of garbage to keep her distance from the Saxton Hale Robot.

However, Fem-Scout had miscalculated the distance to the next garbage pile, and ends up falling just a meter short of it and face-planted on the dirt.

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" The female Bostonian batter berates herself for such a simple mistake, and tries to get up on her own.

A looming shadow being cast by the moonlight upon her tells Fem-Scout that the Saxton Hale Robot has caught up with her.

"Ah, cra..."

_FRED Scout was slain by Saxton Hale Robot. 24 players left._

...

"That just ain't right!" Engineer comments when an announcement (which somehow sounded identical to The Administrator's, despite her having left Mann Co after the REDs' defeat by the NEWs) announces Fem-Scout getting killed by the Saxton Hale Robot. "Girl's not gonna be Respawning unless someone destroy that robot!"

Engineer looked around to make sure that he isn't followed by the Saxton Hale Robot. Good for the Texan that he isn't.

With that in mind, Engineer begins constructing a Dispenser, "Dispenser goin' up!", followed by a Sentry Gun, "Sentry goin' up!".

All of a sudden, the sound of Heavy firing Sasha the Minigun can be heard echoing from a distance. Just a few seconds later, it is ended with the Russian mercenary's death cry coming from the same direction.

_RED Heavy and FC Fatman were slain by Saxton Hale Robot. 22 players left._

"Darn..." Engineer cursed under his breath, as he gives the almost-completed Sentry Gun one last whack of his Wrench. "Its really hard 'ta remember that the Chinese mercenaries have no death cry. They die silently..."

_FRED Engineer's Sentry Gun was slain by Saxton Hale Robot._

"Anyway, who or what's countin' the scores and announcing the kills?" Engineer wondered why there is still an announcement for each kill.

_ RED Demoman blew himself up with Stickybomb Launcher. FRED Demo-woman died a clumsy, painful death. 20 players left._

"Demo, m'lad, that there's why most bombers stay the heck away from alcohol..." The Texan quipped to thin air when he heard the announcement calling out the two Demos' accidental self-kills.

_FRED Engineer was slain by Saxton Hale Robot. 19 players left._

Something popped up in Engineer's mind right after he hears the latest announcement of Fem-Engineer's death. "Killing the weakest of the herd first? Son, I am impressed!"

It took the Texan a few more seconds to realize that Fem-Engineer's death cry came from just a few meters behind him. It didn't take him turning around to tell him that there's someone behind him.

"Argh, good night, Irene..."

_RED Engineer, his Dispenser and his Sentry Gun were slain by Saxton Hale Robot. 18 players left._

...

Sniper had taken position behind a weathered advertisement board and made himself sure that he won't blow his own cover to the Saxton Hale Robot.

What irritates him about the plan is that FC Sniper who had somehow came across him behind the same advertisement board despite taking a different route was not having the same idea. It may be safe to assume that FC Sniper, or any Chinese combatants in general have no concept of camping or turtling. With that said, FC Sniper's constant flipping of her zippo lighter is pretty much calling out to the Saxton Hale Robot.

"Will you wanker cut that?!" Sniper whispered angrily to his Chinese counterpart, even while knowing that she wouldn't understand English anyway.

That is, if FC Sniper even heard that _before_ getting squashed under the Saxton Hale Robot's mechanical feet.

_FC Sniper was slain by Saxton Hale Robot. 17 players left._

"Holy doolie!" The Australian gunman exclaims in surprise with the sudden appearance of the mechanical combatant. Sniper's response-by-reflex is to shoot at his head with the Sniper Rifle.

The shot does dislodge the Saxton Hale Robot's obviously-fake mustache. But other than that, he is completely unscathed.

_"You may be Australian, but you're not even half the man I am!"_ The Saxton Hale Robot taunts, despite his mouth remaining completely still.

Sniper decided to just high-tail out of there. "Bloody hell!"

The Australian gunman soon realized that he had nowhere else to escape to at this point. Such a realization made him wished that he hasn't drank so much water in the evening...

_Water!_ This word made Sniper remember that he just happened to have a jar of Jarate handy.

"JAAARATEEE!" With a loud yell, Sniper threw the Jarate he had toward the Saxton Hale Robot.

The jar of piss shattered upon impacting the mechanical combatant, splashing the liquid all over his body. This prompted the Saxton Hale Robot to look at himself with disgust.

Sniper reached for his SMG, and empties an entire clip on the Saxton Hale Robot. "Wish I have the bloody Bushwacka with me..."

The strange thing about shooting or stabbing someone that is covered in Jarate is that he or she is guaranteed to take Mini-Crits if not full Critical Hits. This manifested on the Saxton Hale Robot as several appropriately sized bullet holes on his metallic chest.

_"Good one. But is that all you got?"_ The mechanical combatant said again, mouth still immobile despite the talking. The Saxton Hale Robot proceeds to throw a punch while Sniper is reloading his SMG.

"Ah, piss..." Sniper could only stare at the metallic fist coming straight for his face.

_RED Sniper was slain by Saxton Hale Robot. 16 players left._

...

It didn't take very long before the Saxton Hale Robot has come across Pyro, Fem-Pyro and Firebat, all three of whom are blowing their Flamethrowers at the mechanical combatant constantly.

The Saxton Hale Robot is not immune to afterburn, but that didn't stop him from caving in Pyro's skull with his metallic fists.

_RED Pyro was slain by Saxton Hale Robot. 15 players left._

Fem-Pyro quickly switched to the Axtinguisher and started whacking the Saxton Hale Robot with all her might. While being hit by the Axtinguisher weapon and being on fire at the same time means that the victim is guaranteed to take Mini-Crits, there is just not enough knockback to keep the Saxton Hale Robot from closing in for the kill.

The Saxton Hale Robot threw his fist, ready to take down Fem-Pyro with a punch...

...Until Firebat unexpectedly threw himself right in front of the punch, which he takes right in his chest.

Firebat was able to hand-signal Fem-Pyro to try and take the chance to run away, before massive internal injury ended his current life right there.

_FC Firebat was slain by Saxton Hale Robot. 14 players left._

Fem-Pyro took the chance to run away while taking potshots at the Saxton Hale Robot, who was just throwing Firebat's corpse aside, with her Detonator weapon. The flares of the Detonator doesn't make the mechanical combatant flinch, but at least it is dealing good damage unlike the other mercenaries' weapons un-boosted.

_"You fight like a woman... Oh wait! You are a woman!"_ The Saxton Hale Robot said, again without moving his mouth, before giving chase to Fem-Pyro.

...

After spending about an hour running away from the Saxton Hale Robot in different directions, some of the remaining mercenaries of the RED Team, FRED Team and FC Team ended up back at where they started: right in front of the bunker entrance.

"Looks like we all ran in circles, buddies." Fem-Soldier points out the obvious.

It didn't take Soldier, Fem-Soldier and Rocket very long to note that their respective teams have decreased in numbers.

"Just as I thought, that robot with our former employee, Saxton Hale's face has disabled all our Respawn Modules, even FC Team's which have completely different designs, by just being here..." Soldier tells everyone his theory.

"This Mann Of Conspiracy and his cohorts, the NEW Team have overdone it by using your former boss as their unwitting pawns." Rocket expresses his opinion to both WW2 veterans.

The three sort-of team leaders turned toward what is left of their respective teams, expecting an offhand or deadpan comment from one of them.

None of them said anything. not even when the mystery announcer announces _"FC Medical, FRED Medic and FRED Heavy were slain by Saxton Hale Robot. 11 players left."_

"No one? Not a single comment?" Soldier hangs a lamp on the surprising silence.

Of course, that silence is soon broken by the death cry of Fem-Pyro from out-of-sight...

...Which came from just around the corner nearby.

_FRED Pyro was slain by Saxton Hale Robot. 10 players left._

"That guy... thing is right next to us!" Soldier exclaims, as he fires a rocket at where the death cry came from.

The Saxton Hale Robot turns around the same corner just in time to be hit by the rocket. As expected, it doesn't do much against him.

_"The name's Saxton Hale [Robot]! Australian..."_ The Saxton Hale Robot tries to quip before continuing with his programmed killing spree.

"_Former_ CEO of what used to be Mann Corporation!" Fem-Soldier daringly interrupts the mechanical combatant mid-sentence and proceeds to unload her Shotgun on him.

Saxton Hale Robot only gives a deadpan stare to the female veteran before approaching her and attempts a punch...

...Which was conveniently intercepted by Medic, who had also popped his Ubercharge at the last minute, causing the metallic fist to bounce off him.

"I am ze _ubermensch_!" Medic, while Ubercharged, proceeds to flip off the Saxton Hale Robot, pointing two middle fingers while doing the famous "Pop It, Don't Drop It" taunt.

The insane German doctor's insane action prompted the other mercenaries to take several steps back. They continued watching the Saxton Hale Robot just standing there, not making any responses to Medic's taunt.

FC Team's Technician (Chinese rip-off of Engineer) ran into the scene to rejoin his comrades, and became bewildered when he saw Medic's taunt and the Saxton Hale Robot's response (or lack of thereof) to it. Rocket gives him the look that says he has the same idea about it.

"Hey, shouldn't we be taking this opportunity, mates?" Fem-Sniper reminds the others.

Pretty much all the remaining mercenaries except Medic gave each other the look that says "I agree." and proceeds to unload their Primary Weapons at the Saxton Hale Robot.

The mechanical combatant still doesn't do anything about his current situation, until Medic's Ubercharge finally wore off.

Medic stopped his taunt, and looked at himself, before turning back toward the Saxton Hale Robot. "Uh, you are ze _ubermensch_?"

The Saxton Hale Robot proceeds to land a karate chop without uttering another word, splitting the insane German doctor in half.

_RED Medic was slain by Saxton Hale Robot. 9 players left._

_"You're next!"_ The Saxton Hale Robot said to the remaining mercenaries.

The mechanical combatant raised his fist again, and threw it at the direction of Soldier's face.

Soldier cowered, and tries stupidly to shield his face with his own hands.

The punch never landed, it stopped short of his face.

Turns out that's because there's a Sapper and Red Tape Recorder attached to the Saxton Hale Robot's back, immobilizing him mid-punch.

"Do you think you could forget about us?" Spy and Fem-Spy uncloaked behind the mechanical combatant.

"Thanks, Frenchies, I owe the both of you one each." Soldier thanked the two masters of disguise, before he turns toward the remaining REDs and called out "Now's the chance!"

"Give him hell, boys and girls!" Fem-Soldier calls out to the remaining FREDs similarly.

"Ba Ta Zha Ge FenShengShuiGu!" [Blow him to pieces!] Rocket called out in Chinese, but soon realizes that he and Technician are pretty much the only FC Team mercenaries remaining. "Sha le ta..." [Just kill him...] Rocket embarrassingly tells Technician to give a hand.

Taking their opportunity with the Saxton Hale Robot being immobilized, the REDs, FREDs and FC Team mercenaries ganged up on the mechanical combatant with their weapons. Fem-Sniper had threw a jar of Self-Aware Beauty Mark at the Saxton Hale Robot to make sure he receives at least Mini-Crits from all hits, while Spy and Fem-Spy spammed backstabs as fast as the games allow (The Saxton Hale Robot seems to have a built-in Razorback that is also reusable). Technician's Turret Gun (Chinese rip-off of Engineer's Sentry Gun) fired bullets-after-bullets at the mechanical combatant.

Rocket throwing his Hatchet at the Saxton Hale Robot was the last straw for him. The mechanical combatant drops on his knees, uttering _"Saxton... Hale..."_ before falling on his back, with the Hatchet buried right in the middle of his metallic chest.

_Saxton Hale Robot was slain by FC Rocket. Mercenaries win!_

"We did it, everyone!" Soldier cheered loudly upon hearing the announcement. "All of you deserves a medal!"

"And that is why all robots are maggots!" Fem-Soldier throws a one-liner at the Saxton Hale Robot. "Saxton Hale or not, that thing should've stayed as a pile of nuts and bolts!"

"We use weapons to make peace!" Rocket repeats his catchphrase in English. "But that doesn't mean we won't use them against warmongers!"

The remaining mercenaries, having nothing to say on the matter (due to having the figurative spotlight stolen from them), remained silent. Technician can be seen nonchalantly packing up his Turret Gun not unlike how Engineer packs up his Sentry Gun.

The mercenaries turned toward the bunker entrance to see those who were killed by the Saxton Hale Robot in the battle, having just Respawned, walking out of it.

"Pop quiz! How long does it take to beat a moron to..." Scout, seeing the Saxton Hale Robot disabled and lying on the ground, attempts to vocally taunt him with one of his "pop quizzes", only to be interrupted by Fem-Scout, Engineer and both Heavies simultaneously smacking him on the back of the head.

"You did enough, knucklehead..." Fem-Scout told her male counterpart.

"He laid you out first, buddy..." Engineer reminded the Bostonian batter.

"Scout is tiny baby man..." Heavy chews him out for what he was just attempting.

"...And discredit to team..." Fem-Heavy continues the massive Russian's chewing out.

The other mercenaries have nothing else to add about Scout, who just looked at everyone and complained "Jeez!"

"So now, what do we do with him?" Spy asked Soldier about the now-disabled Saxton Hale Robot.

"You said that there's a part of Hale that's resisting the controls of the NEWs' boss, right?" The WW2 veteran told the Frenchman. "I'm going to try and ask what's left of him some question.

With that, Soldier approached the mechanical combatant with his Shovel ready at hand.

"Mr Hale?"

No response came from the Saxton Hale Robot.

Soldier took a closer look at the mechanical combatant. Rocket's Hatchet was embedded itself in between the _of_ in the _Mann Of Conspiracy_ etching on the metallic chest. The half-organic face is that of Saxton Hale's, barring the dislodged fake mustache that probably forcefully replaced his real one.

The veteran noticed that the mechanical half of the robot's face isn't physically welded _("if that's the right word..."_ Soldier thought) to the organic half. With a swing of his Shovel, Soldier tore off the metallic half of the face, which turned out to be just a faceplate over an organic face. Saxton Hale's real face was not harmed one bit barring his real mustache being forcefully removed by his unwilling transformation.

That whacking woke up Saxton Hale - the real Australian Chuck Norris himself and not the robotic mind that possessed him.

"Mr Hale?" Soldier asked once more.

Saxton Hale stayed lying on the ground and did not get up. He simply uttered two words softly: "Kill me..."

"I know how much you are suffering, Mr Hale..." Soldier, in a really rare case, showed compassion to someone he battled about a minute ago. "But I need to know about the ones who did this to you."

"You... do... not... understand... what... I am... suffering..." Saxton Hale struggled to even speak, and even coughed in between some of the words.

"I know what you are suffering from, and I suffered a worse one before I started working for Mann Co." Soldier tells the testosterone-fueled Australian who isn't so badass anymore in his current state. "If you really choose death over this suffering, at least tell me what I need to know first..."

"Then we might be able to avenge you with that information." Rocket adds in to the statement.

"You saw how NEW Team have women in their ranks, and they kicked our ass just as easily as their men." Fem-Soldier does too. "So why not let me prove that women can also fight in the Copycat Wars?"

Saxton Hale remained silent for a while, before he tries to speak a string of words with struggle to the mercenaries.

"Anythium... did this... to me... Mann Of Conspiracy... is building... an army of... *cough cough* and... he really... is... G..."

And that's it. The awesome and undefeatable Saxton Hale has been defeated by battle wounds and forced transformation. The Australian Chuck Norris took his last breath and died right there.

The REDs and FREDs stared at Saxton Hale for a few more seconds, expecting him to come back to life with his sheer badassery. He didn't.

"I guess Mr Hale is truly dead, lads..." Engineer said.

...

Location: The Bridge, NEW Team's Carrier Airship.

_"As expected, the REDs, FREDs and their newest allies, the Final Combatants came out victorious against Saxton Hale..."_ The Mann Of Conspiracy commented with expectation after watching live footage of the mercenaries' fight with Saxton Hale Robot.

No one else was present in the Bridge of the Carrier Airship, except for Christian Brutal Sniper standing next to the shadowy figure, watching the same set of footages being played on holographic screens.

"I will give you a hint, Mann..." Christian told the Mann Of Conspiracy. "With each victory they achieve, you are one step closer to seeing the NEW Team's defeat at their hands."

_"I know..."_ The shadowy figure replies to the Sniper Freak.

Christian gave the Mann Of Conspiracy the look. "If you are so sure of your plans, then do you want to send another Freak after them?"

The Mann simply raised a finger. _"Of course, Christian, of course. But not right now..."_

* * *

**Afterwords**

Well, well. Looks like another Freak battle is in bound. But since Painis Cupcake has been defeated several chapters ago, who will this new Freak be?

And what was it about the Mann Of Conspiracy that Saxton Hale tried to warn Soldier and gang about?

"...and... he really... is... G..."

G? Would that be the G-Man, or would it be someone from TF2 or _Final Combat_ whose name begins with the letter G?

Aaand there goes Saxton Hale, unfortunate victim of the Mann Of Conspiracy and his creations. At least he went down with a fight first...

Sheesh, this Anythium that the NEWs' boss uses is quite an interesting metal. Quite frankly, it even seems to surpass Australium in the ways it can be used...

Also, it was only just a few hours before the uploading of this chapter (on 25th of July, 2015) that I learned more about the _Final Combat_ cast. Turns out that 1)Not all Final Combatants are Chinese. FC Medical is actually British-Japanese (yet speaks Chinese with a mainland accent anyway); 2)FC Striker, aside from being not North Korean, is pretty much _identical_ to NEW Striker! _Mann Of Conspiracy _was created _before_ I even knew what playable classes were in _Final Combat_!; and 3)FC Team's rip-off of Engineer isn't actually called Technician, its Mechanism...

Shout-out index:

_"Give me your face!"_ \- This one came straight from _Transformers: Dark Of The Moon_. You might know about it.

"Pop It, Don't Drop It!" - "A popped Uber is always better than a wasted one." - Krunkidile, _"Pop It, Don't Drop It"_, _Team Service Announcement_. Thanks, Krunkidile...

That is all. _"Good night, punchline..."_


	10. Chapter 9: Fall Of Mann

**Forewords**

I have learned a very valuable lesson regarding mobile phone gaming just a few minutes ago (this line written in 5:21PM in 20th of August, 2015):

Back-up your game's progress after every session, even if it means using a 3rd party program to hack the game. I lost over a year worth of progress on _Metal Slug Defense_ (as I have stated in Chapter 8 of _Metal Slug: Mercenaries_) due to not doing this myself in the first place. I'm so sad about life right now that the Forewords of this chapter may be a whole week older than the rest of the chapter...

* * *

**Chapter 9: Fall Of Mann**

Time: 0800 Hour; 3rd of July, 2015.

Location: Coal Town.

Coal Town, the Mann Co stronghold against Gray's Robot Army has not been used ever since Gray Mann has been defeated.

The only reason RED Team is here is to give the late Saxton Hale a proper military funeral. The casket containing Saxton Hale's body is placed in a mine cart in front of the Mining Accident Simulator (which was ironically first intended as a joke by the Hale family), with the REDs and FREDs standing around the casket, holding bouquet of white lilies in their hands.

Soldier is the one delivering the speech in homage to the deceased.

"Here lies Saxton Hale, Australian, President and CEO of Mann co. During his living days, he gave us all the necessary support we needed to fight and defeat Gray Mann and his army of robots, and also kept Mann Co on the top of the megacorporation industries by eliminating all competitions in any way he can find. Were it not for him, none of us will be standing here today. You will be missed, Saxton Hale..."

After finishing the speech, Soldier took out a trumpet and blew the funeral tune, while the other mercenaries placed the bouquet of white lilies onto the casket as it is being pushed into the Mining Accident Simulator by Heavy and Fem-Heavy.

The casket and the mine cart carrying it began to tip as it reaches into the Mining Accident Simulator, and then tumbled as it fell down the shaft.

The Mining Accident Simulator was so deep the sound of the casket hitting the bottom was never heard.

...

Time: 0830 Hour.

Location: Cart 4, Gravel Express #42; currently heading for the Gravel Outpost.

"This is becoming more and more unacceptable!" Soldier proclaimed angrily. "I only need to point at the Mining Accident Simulator in Coal Town to show just how much I wanted to make NEW Striker, his team and their boss cease to exist!"

Scout is juggling a baseball by continuously batting it into the air, and he has been at it since the train started moving half an hour ago. "I'm gonna bonk 'em all!" The Bostonian batter added in without losing focus on the baseball.

Soldier cracked his hands, and said, "I'm definitely gonna crack some skulls. Specifically, Striker's, after I've cracked the Mann Of Conspiracy's..."

Aside from the REDs and FREDs, the Final Combatants are also in the train, accompanying their allies.

Rocket walked toward Soldier and gave him a pat on the back. "You gave me and my colleagues a place to stay when the People's Republic Of China basically disowned us. I owe you one, friend, and because of that, I will help you hunt down the NEW Striker and this Mann Of Conspiracy." The Chinese mercenary told the WW2 veteran.

Soldier looked at Rocket for a few seconds, before responding "Thanks, buddy..."

...

Time: 1000 Hour.

Location: Command Center, Gravel Outpost.

As soon as they got back to the Gravel Outpost, the REDs had another briefing session on. This time, the FC Team mercenaries accompanied them in the brief (with Rocket providing translations for his teammates whom don't speak English).

"Well, what do you know." Soldier started the briefing session, once again angered by the topic at hand. "The Mann Of Conspiracy has decided to blank out the Mann Co database after we were forced to kill Saxton Hale who he turned into his unwitting puppet!"

"Well, that sucks!" Scout very much agrees with the veteran. "This guy's smarter than we think he is!"

"Little baby man has big head..." Heavy speaks his mind about the person in question.

"Since we can no longer spy on the NEWs during their game, we're gonna need an alternate strategy at kicking their collective asses." Soldier continued the briefing. "Anyone got any suggestions?"

The REDs and FREDs spent an entire minute discussing with each other about the topic.

"The Mann Co Marketplace..." Rocket suggested all of a sudden.

Hearing the Chinese mercenary's answer, everyone changed their topic of discussion to the answer he gave, and went on for a short while until...

"Of course!" It was Spy who broke up the discussion. "The NEW team will be required to at least visit the Marketplace the day after their fifth Flawless Victory in a row!"

"Now why haven't 'Ah thought of that?" Engineer realizes what the Frenchman was talking about. "It took us REDs three whole years before we were able to achieve five Flawless Victories in a row, the BLUs took five, and the FREDs weren't able to do so for seven until an incredibly underpowered and idiotic team challenged them five times in a row. But the NEWs did it in less than a week."

"Mates, I still remember that the Marketplace is the only Mann Co train station that isn't a battlefield." Sniper raises a point, and suddenly realizes that Rocket is giving him that offended look. "Well, Camp Coolie was abandoned mid-construction. But my point is still valid, mates."

"Yeah, right. Maybe we can find the BLU Team in the Losers' Lounge and ask them what they know about the NEWs..." Fem-Scout suggested.

The mercenaries spent the next ten minutes or so discussing their course of action.

"Alright. It's decided." Soldier announced to everyone.

"We will wait for the NEWs at Marketplace, talk to the BLUs about what they know, and then we beat the crap out of every single one of those NEWbies!" Fem-Soldier announces the plan that has been agreed upon. "If they are already there, we'll beat the crap out of every single one of them anyway!"

All the REDs and FREDs cheered loudly. The Final Combatants... not so much due to their mostly stoic nature.

...

Time: 1200 Hour.

Location: Mann Co Marketplace.

The mercenaries' train ride to Marketplace went without a hitch. They've safely arrived at the train station of the Mann Co-owned indoor plaza.

"Right, boys and girls. Here's the plan." Soldier reminded everyone. "We wait for the NEWs to drop in at the center of the plaza. They don't use the railway, so there's no point in waiting for them at the train station."

"However, the Mann Of Conspiracy is no fool." Fem-Soldier added another sentence to the reminder. "Don't stand right in the open or his boys and girls will see us coming from a mile away."

"Especially not with that frickin' overpowered metal they call Anythium!" Scout complained, but not as loud as he usually is. "Speaking of Anythium... Hey, hard hat. How long will it take for you to analyze it?"

"Not even halfway done..." Engineer answered disappointingly. "That thing there is beyond even Gray Mann and his gosh darned robots."

The mercenaries looked around Marketplace, and soon notices that all three Snipers were not with them. Turns out that they have somehow found their way onto the second floor of the indoor plaza without anyone noticing.

"Oy, mates!" Fem-Sniper called out to the others from the upper floor. "If we're catching those wankers, we should all find some place to hide in!" Elsewhere, Sniper and FC Sniper can be seen looking for their own places to camp out in.

How the three teams' Snipers got up there without anyone of them noticing baffled them all.

...

Time: 1230 Hour.

The REDs, FREDs and Final Combatants all found their own places to hide in at Marketplace. Although some were not happy with the spot they picked due to the ones they actually wanted being either too obvious or already occupied.

Scout, for instance, hid himself under the desk of the Supply Crate Key Shop clerk, and was unhappy about it due to the clerk's shoes smelling even worse than rotten fish. "Frickin' unbelievable..." Scout mumbled while trying to hold his breath at the same time. "If the clerk was here, I'm gonna bonk him for such smelly feet!"

The Boston batter soon took his words back when he pokes his head out and saw Heavy hiding inside a lidless dumpster that is literally filled to the brim with rotten Holy Mackerels, and the massive Russian is having a worse time than he is. Made even worse when the Marketplace janitor came and dumped a trashcan full of rotten Sandviches into that same dumpster without noticing Heavy.

Demoman, on the other hand, has somehow placed himself in a locked mailbox that is barely the height of his torso. Then again, he may not even know where he actually is, knowing how drunk he can be sometimes. Fem-Demo has hidden herself in an already unlocked Mann Co Supply Crate that is even smaller.

While most of the REDs and FREDs got themselves in all sorts of weird hiding spots, special mention goes to Pyro, who has decided to hide himself under a "Welcome" mat in front of the train station, and the deranged mercenary doesn't even seem to notice being _stepped on_ by feet after feet.

Hiding places aside, it has already been half an hour and still no sign of the NEW Team or Mann Of Conspiracy.

_"The BLUs had the same idea of hacking into the Mann Co database shortly before the NEWs blanked it out."_ Soldier reminded everyone silently through radio. _"They didn't learn much, but enough that they know NEW Team will be arriving today along with the Mann Of Conspiracy."_

It took another few moments later before the REDs, FREDs and Final Combatant spotted someone they were looking for.

It was just one person, but there's no mistaking that she's NEW Mage.

_"I see her..."_ Engineer reported from his position. _"I'm ready to lay her out."_

_"Vait..."_ Medic stopped the Texan. _"Vhy do you think ze Fraulein is alone?"_

_"Who cares?"_ Fem-Scout decided not to wait any longer, and jumped out of her hiding place and proceeds to sneak up on Mage who is currently facing the Hats And Cosmetics Shop.

Scout also have the same idea, as he joined his female counterpart.

_"Come back and continue the observation, you two dolts!"_ Soldier called out on the two Bostonian batters to no avail.

Scout and Fem-Scout continued sneaking toward Mage with their Boston Bashers raised, and was about to lunge at the magician when they both noticed something odd about the rug they are currently standing on.

It was not a rug at all, it was a camouflage-equipped satchel of C4 which was only revealed when Scout unintentionally kicked it over.

"Oh, cra..." Scout and Fem-Scout both uttered right before the C4 went off in a big explosion that didn't get anywhere close to Mage.

_NEW Arsonist blew up RED Scout and FRED Scout with Unwelcome Mat._

"Dammit!" Soldier cursed upon losing contact with the Bostonian batters. It didn't help with the veteran's anger that Marketplace's broadcast system was somehow equipped to broadcast kill feeds even though the indoor plaza isn't supposed to be a battlefield.

_"Mon dieu..." _Spy exclaimed upon hearing the aforementioned kill feed. He raised his Cloak And Dagger watch, and was going to activate the cloak when the Frenchman noticed that it isn't working. Spy knew exactly why it failed to work. "Oh, no..." He uttered shortly before suddenly getting killed via a large number of bullets all over his entire body.

_NEW Recon mowed down RED Spy with Akimbo Assassin, with assistance from his Jammer._

Soldier finally realizes what is actually going on. _"Get out of cover, everyone! We have been played by the NEWs!"_ He jumped out of hiding place just in time to avoid an out-of-nowhere lightning strike that is obviously one of NEW Alchemist's Kill-Taunts.

Demoman and Fem-Demo were about to come out of their hiding place when Mage suddenly turned toward them and jinxed them both in quick succession.

_NEW Mage voided RED Demoman and FRED Demowoman's lives with Harming Potion._

"I knew the two of you were in there all along..." Mage pointed out to the now dead Scots.

Knowing that their friends' positions have been made, the three teams' Snipers stopped camping, and attempted to regroup with their respective team by jumping over the second floor railing onto the first floor. FC Sniper was able to land on her two feet, whereas FRED sniper face-planted upon landing, breaking her glasses in the process. "Remind me not to take that bloody way again, lass..." Fem-Sniper looked at where she thinks FC Sniper is, and said (even knowing her Chinese counterpart don't understand English). Through her blurry vision, Fem-Sniper was able to locate Sniper, who has also face-planted upon landing...

...Except that the male Australian gunman's body was bisected from the waist.

_NEW Ninja bisected RED Sniper with Keigo Kamikaze._

"Crikey!" Fem-Sniper's vision may be blurry, but she can still see how her male counterpart had been killed, and exclaims about it.

The rest of the mercenaries quickly regrouped at the train station entrance, where Pyro seems to have disappeared from the "Welcome" mat he is hiding under for some reason.

"We've been made!" Soldier exclaimed angrily at the turn of events. "Either the BLUs have sided with the Mann Of Conspiracy, or they all have been brainwashed by him, or..."

"...The NEWs were already here to begin with." Fem-Soldier added to the exclamation. "_Those maggots_ were waiting for us, not the other way around!"

"How could this happen?!" Heavy cried out in anger. The massive Russian then turns toward Engineer and Fem-Engineer, and said "Engineer, we are going home, by train!"

Both Texans agreed with Heavy, and was about to head for the train, before they were stopped by Striker suddenly coming out of the train. Engineer and Fem-Engineer were forced to raise both their hands up and take several steps back, and didn't try anything to fight back, especially not when the North Korean mercenary had an Assault Rifle that came with an under-barrel grenade launcher pointed at them. "Darn..." They both uttered.

It wasn't long before the rest of the NEW team appeared and had the REDs, FREDs and Final Combatants boxed in at the Marketplace train station.

"We all should have seen this trap coming..." Rocket told the REDs. "The Mann Of Conspiracy saw ours from a light year away."

FC Fatman, without warning, suddenly decides to grab his Minigun (which isn't Heavy's Sasha) and yelled like a maniac as he was about to fire it. Fatman quickly got a harpoon through his head before he could even rev up the barrel of the Minigun, courtesy of NEW Sailor.

_NEW Sailor skewered FC Fatman with Submariner's Spearhead._

"I wouldn't move a bloody muscle if I were you." Sailor warned.

"I believe we are not going anywhere right now..." Fem-Spy commented on the current situation.

And then, all of a sudden, something smashed the ceiling apart from above the indoor plaza, raining down concrete slabs and steel rebar upon the REDs, FREDs, Final Combatants and NEWs. Hardly anyone noticed the ceiling being smashed apart (even the patrons and employees of Marketplace didn't put any attention onto it), but its hard to not notice the massive hunk of flying metal that is the Carrier Airship.

A beam came down from the bottom of the Carrier Airship and shone upon a spot not too far away from where the mercenaries stood. Seconds later, a figure materialized within that beam.

The Mann Of Conspiracy has arrived...

_"Greetings, RED Team..."_ The Mann Of Conspiracy spoke with a rather mechanical voice. Under Marketplace's lightings, one can see that the Mann Of Conspiracy has a mechanical right arm, and wore a featureless metal mask over his face. _"Also the female mercenaries that are the FRED Team, and the Chinese rip-off known as the Final Combatants..."_

"Get to ze point already, _dumpkopf_..." Fem-Medic was getting impatient, and told off the shadowy person.

Surprisingly, the Mann Of Conspiracy actually listened. _"You all called me the Mann Of Conspiracy, and that's exactly who I am."_ The NEWs' boss took several steps closer to the REDs.

"You sure are one hell of a mechanical bastard, turning Saxton Hale into a half-robot which you control against his will..." Soldier speaks out what he has in mind to the Mann. The veteran can't help but find the mechanical arm somehow familiar to him. "Who are you, really? And what are you planning with Mann Co?"

The Mann Of Conspiracy ignored the first question, and answered only the second. _"Mann Co robbed me of everything I have 50 years ago, and I plan to exact revenge on the company. I figured that hiring different versions of your team's classes won't contribute much to my plans, as demonstrated by the Copycat Wars..."_

"So you trained nine completely original classes to beat the crap out of every single one of us?" Fem-Soldier responded in a rude manner.

_"That is correct."_ The Mann Of Conspiracy replies calmly. _"Now I have but one choice to offer you and your team: since you have nobody left to work for, how about you join me..."_

"Nein!" Medic pretty much denied the Mann's offer before hearing the entire sentence. He then proceeds to load and fire his Crusader's Crossbow at the NEWs' boss while proclaiming "Oktoberfest!"

Mage was standing too far away to from the Mann Of Conspiracy to intercept the bolt, which hits the Mann in his metal mask hard enough to knock it off his face and cause him to flinch.

Striker proceeds to gun down the insane German doctor without a second though in response.

_NEW Striker gunned down RED Medic with Arbiter._

As they took a good look at the Mann Of Conspiracy's true appearance, the REDs were shocked to find that its a face they have seen before.

That face belonged to no other than Gray Mann himself. Granted, he has a cybernetic left eye and first degree burn over many parts of his face, but there's no mistaking that he is Gray Mann.

"Gray Mann!" Soldier exclaimed.

"Gray Mann? The same crook that sent a robot army to try and destroy Mann Co 50 years ago?" Rocket asked the veteran with confusion.

"'Ah should've realized it when I ran the Mann Of Conspiracy photo through a facial recognition software and it came up with exactly one match!" Engineer realize the crucial point of the reveal.

"Wait! Didn't Gray Mann crash and burn when Demoman blew up his tank with a dozen Critical Sticky Bombs?" Fem-Soldier raises another crucial point.

_"Hmph. Did you honestly think something like that could kill me so easily?"_ Gray Mann, at this point has dropped his Mann Of Conspiracy act, and boasted in a rather hammy way, although he still has that mechanical voice. _"Since Medic responded to my offer by shooting me, I guess there's no point in hearing out the rest of you anymore."_

"You bet we won't!" Soldier shot his answer toward Gray, and aimed his Rocket Launcher at the NEWs' boss, as did the rest of the REDs, FREDs and Final Combatants.

The NEWs all pointed their weapons (Ninja readied a handful of different-looking Shuriken) at the REDs, but even Striker hesitated to act, for they all recognize the situation.

Gray Mann remained calm despite having the tides partially turned against him. _"So if you want to rock and roll, I will have someone do that in my place since I myself has a schedule to catch up with."_

Another beam shot down from the Carrier Airship overhead, and beamed Gray and the NEWs out of Marketplace onto it. A second beam followed the first, and beamed down a figure clad in all black.

"Come back here, you coward!" Soldier shouted at the Carrier Airship and fired his Rocket Launcher at it as the massive aircraft is taking off and leaving the vicinity. The rockets failed to even scrape the paint off, and the Carrier Airship got away.

"Gray Mann was half little baby man, half giant man..." Fem-Heavy comments on the turn of events and unexpected reveal.

The mercenaries turned their attention back on the black-clad figure, who also turned his attention toward them.

"I do believe this is one of those Freak Fortress games where we are not allowed to Respawn as long as the boss lives..." Rocket takes note of the black-clad figure. "And I do believe he is the boss we are about to fight.

The black-clad figure, who bears an uncanny resemblance to Sniper, pulled out a bigger-than-usual Bushwacka and a bazooka loaded with Huntsman arrows... both literally from out of thin air...

...And proclaimed "It's like Christmas Morning!"

_Freak Fortress battle initiated. No Respawns! You are now fighting: Christian Brutal Sniper!_

The mercenaries whom have been killed earlier were permitted to respawn for their death took place before the Freak Fortress game. They all looked at Christian Brutal Sniper and dropped their jaws almost all the way to the floor.

"Aw, jeez!" Scout complained.

* * *

**Afterwords**

Sorry for delaying this update so long. I've been trying to catch up with my lost progress in _Metal Slug Defense_ that I've neglected to even look at the Doc Manager tab for two weeks. I assure you, such a delay will not happen again.

I have nothing else to say on the matter from this point on. This line written in the 8th of September, 2015.

Well, I've planned for the reveal of the Mann Of Conspiracy being Gray Mann to be left for a later chapter, but since everyone saw it coming in the previous one, I've decided to reveal it here, as vaguely as possible so that a bigger reveal can be made later.

No shout-outs in this chapter.

That is all. _"Erectin' a punchline..."_


	11. Chapter 10: Bloody Christmas In July

**Forewords**

I've got a funny feeling that I did the headcount wrong in the Saxton Hale Robot boss fight, so I've tallied the number of mercenaries again.

Nine REDs and FREDs make 18. The Final Combatants' Rocket, Fatman, Sniper, Medical, Firebat and Technician increases the number to 24. Okay, turns out I was off when I counted 26 mercenaries back in that battle.

And looking back at the chapter before (Chapter 7: From China With Love), it turns out I did _refer_ to Technician as "Mechanic". *Sigh* The side effects of using Indy Ploys when writing Fan Fictions is that you tend to forget the very things you wrote yourself.

* * *

**Chapter 10: Bloody Christmas In July**

Time: 1300 Hour; 3rd of July, 2015.

Location: Mann Co Marketplace.

_Freak Fortress battle initiated. No Respawns! You are now fighting: Christian Brutal Sniper!_

"Oh, crap." Scout could only utter two words before Christian Brutal Sniper chopped his head off with the oversized Bushwacka.

_RED Scout was slain by Christian Brutal Sniper. 23 players left._

By this point, Scout having his head literally removed at the beginning of each battle is nothing to exclaim about anymore. What's worthy of an exclamation is how quickly Christian Brutal Sniper did it.

"Give him hell, boys and girls!"

Heeding Soldier's commands, all the mercenaries pointed and fired their Primary Weapons at Christian. The walking arsenal isn't as resistant to damage as Painis Cupcake or Saxton Hale Robot (because he at least flinched while the other two doesn't even bat an eye to hits), but still resistant enough that he was able to slowly march through the hail of bullets, explosives and syringes before he literally grabbed a Huntsman arrow from out of thin air and stabbed all three mercenary Snipers in the face in quick succession. "Stab, stab, stab."

_RED Sniper, FRED Sniper and FC Sniper were slain by Christian Brutal Sniper. 20 players left._

"Mein gott..." Medic exclaimed. Even he's amazed at how Christian is able to kill multiple people so quickly.

Fem-Soldier gritted her teeth. "Spread out, everyone! But not too far away so we can still watch each other's back!" She called out to the other mercenaries.

"Yes, everyone! Keep our distance when we spread out!" Soldier agrees with his female counterpart, and added in.

Rocket repeated Soldier's command in Chinese so his team understands.

All the remaining mercenaries ran their way in the Mann Co Marketplace which at this point has been evacuated because of Christian's presence. Engineer and Fem-Engineer had packed up their Sentry Guns before running, while FC Technician had to leave his Turret Gun behind due to the Chinese mercenary lacking the ability to haul buildings.

"Is that all you got, mate?" Christian taunted Technician despite knowing that the Chinese mercenary doesn't speak English, before he simply kicked the Turret Gun over, which somehow causes it to fall apart instantly. "Thanks for leaving this behind, wanker!"

_FC Technician's Turret Gun was slain by Christian Brutal Sniper._

...

After destroying Technician's Turret Gun, Christian Brutal Sniper picked up pieces from the wreckage, and started fiddling with it.

At the same time, Heavy and Medic were on the second floor directly above the Sniper Freak, getting ready to ambush him with their usual combat tactics.

"Little strong man plays strange music from radio somewhere..." The massive Russian pointed out as silently as possible.

Heavy was right, the classical music that was presumed to be Christian's main theme is playing from a radio from a nearby but unknown location, as opposed to Painis Cupcake's which was played from the broadcasting systems.

"Zis does not matter, for I am fully charged!" Medic tells the massive Russian.

"Then charge me, doctor!" Heavy said to the German doctor.

"Jawohl." Medic acknowledged. He was about to deploy the Ubercharge on Heavy when he got killed all of a sudden via several bullets being pumped into his face.

_RED Medic was shot by Christian Brutal Sniper. 19 players left._

"Thanks for standing still, wanker!" Christian verbally taunted from the lower floor, while holding in his hand the machine gun of Technician's Turret Gun which he modified into a handheld weapon by tinkering with it.

Enraged, Heavy pointed his Natascha minigun and fired it at Christian non-stop while yelling "YAAAAAHHHH!"

A hail of bullets from any Miniguns were already enough to slow the movements of anybody who could tank the damage but not strong enough to resist the slowdown effects. With said minigun being the Natascha which _was_ built to slow its targets a lot, the Sniper Freak actually have trouble getting close to the massive Russian.

"Bloody whackjob..." Christian complained as bullets after bullets from Heavy's Natascha pinned him to his current position. Seeing no other alternatives, the Sniper Freak whipped out a Huntsman from out of nowhere (again, literally), loaded an arrow, and then fired it at Heavy.

The arrow skewered Heavy's head, killing him outright and ending his rage-fuelled Natascha-firing spree.

_RED Heavy was shot by Christian Brutal Sniper. 18 players left._

...

"That just ain't right!" Engineer complained as he split up with the rest of his team.

He found a place where he could set up a hard-to-destroy Sentry Nest in a corner of a wide passageway, and got to work immediately. Although he made sure to build a Sentry Gun and Dispenser at the same time as opposed to building a Dispenser first like he usually did (even during the fight against Painis Cupcake and Saxton Hale Robot). It seems that Fem-Engineer also have a Sentry Nest built not too far away from where Engineer built his.

"I just hope he doesn't lay us out first..." Fem-Engineer mouthed to Engineer.

"Well, the last Freak Fortress battle started with at least three of our people getting laid out in the first minute." Engineer mouthed back.

It didn't take long before something appeared for the Sentries to shoot at. No need to guess who the Sentries are firing upon.

"This never bloody gets old, does it?" Christian Brutal Sniper lampshades how often any Engineers would build Sentry Nests, while being fired upon by two Level 2 Sentries.

Then without saying another word, Christian whipped out a bazooka from out of nowhere, and fired from it what appears to be Ullapool Cabers in a spread pattern that proceeds to utterly annihilate both Sentry Nests, leaving only Engineer and Fem-Engineer untouched.

_RED Engineer's Sentry Gun and Dispenser were blown up by Christian Brutal Sniper._

_FRED Engineer's Sentry Gun and Dispenser were blown up by Christian Brutal Sniper._

"Darn..." Both Engineer and Fem-Engineer uttered in response to their Sentry Nests getting wrecked in seconds.

The Sniper Freak before the Texans fired yet another barrage of Ullapool Cabers from his abnormal bazooka, while shouting "Hold still, wanker!"

_RED Engineer and FRED Engineer were blown up by Christian Brutal Sniper. 16 Players left._

"Did I just get blood on my own suit?" Christian pointed out to himself. "No guessing that my next paycheck will be spent on bloody detergents again..."

...

Pyro was unfortunate enough to have passed by Christian Brutal Sniper when the Sniper Freak utterly destroyed Engineer and Fem-Engineer. The insane mercenary shouted something unintelligible (then again, he was never intelligible due to his gas mask) before he decided to go W+M1 with the Rainblower.

"I hate these flame-throwing gas mask psychos..." Christian uttered, as he raised his oversized Bushwacka and brought it down right as Pyro approached him.

Surprisingly, Pyro actually managed to set Christian on fire and dodge his attack at the same time. Pyro immediately switches to the Axtinguisher and starts whacking Christian with it while strafing around his counterattacks.

"Hold still, wanker!" Christian shouted at Pyro as the former continuously swung his oversized Bushwacka at the latter who continuously manages to dodge it.

It took over 10 minutes of the two swinging their weapons at each other before Pyro finally gets his head chopped off by Christian Brutal Sniper's oversized Bushwacka.

_RED Pyro was slain by Christian Brutal Sniper. 15 players left._

"And stay dead, you fire-starting man... woman... thing!" Christian angrily delivers a verbal taunt after killing the gas mask-wearing RED.

As if fate wanted to mock the Sniper Freak, he is immediately set aflame again, this time by Fem-Pyro and Firebat.

His current situation made Christian mumble in something incomprehensible as both Fem-Pyro and Firebat fired their Flamethrowers non-stop at the Sniper Freak.

"Will ya wankers stop with the flame-throwing thing?!" The Sniper Freak yelled out furiously, and was about to swing his oversized Bushwacka at the two pyromaniacs...

...When his theme music was suddenly replaced by the sound of a Sapper doing its job.

This made Christian stop in his tracks. "Again?! Bloody Spies..." He complained before turning around and walked away.

Fem-Pyro and Firebat did not give chase as they have already expended all their ammo strafing the Sniper Freak.

...

On the other side of Marketplace, Spy and Fem-Spy gave each other a High-Five after having each placed a Sapper on a classical radio that is playing Christian Brutal Sniper's theme music. As with all machineries, the radio ceased functioning as it is being sapped.

"No worries, mate! Ha-ha-ha-ha!" Spy attempted to add insult to injury by mimicking an Australian accent (and since Christian Brutal Sniper is a Sniper Class which is Australian, it fits quite well).

"After you." Fem-Spy said as she put on her Cloak, knowing that Christian will definitely come and check on the radio.

"Of course." Spy responded before he puts up his Cloak as well.

Even while cloaked, the two French mercenaries took the precaution of running away from the scene, which was the right thing to do as Christian Brutal Sniper have just arrived.

Noticing that there are two Sappers placed on top of the radio playing his theme music, Christian mumbled "Bloody Spies and their Electro Sappers. Now I know why Engineers hated them so much." under his breath. He then whips out two Homewreckers which he dual-wields and smashes both Sappers with. "Much better..." Christian said as the radio continued playing his theme music after having the Sappers removed.

"Hey, you! Over here!" Someone called out to the Sniper Freak from just around the corner.

Christian turned to see who it was, and finds out it was Soldier, with a Beggar's Bazooka pointed straight at him. Also with Soldier are most of the remaining mercenaries that Christia has yet to kill...

And they all smirked while each pointing a finger at Christian's feet.

Wondering what they are pointing at, the Sniper Freak said "You're going to need more than firepower to bring me down." and looked at his feet...

...To find himself standing in an entire field of Scottish Resistance sticky-bomb, all of which are Crit-Boosted.

"Yo, heads up!" Fem-Scout was the first to act, as she threw a jar of Mad Milk at Christian before he can do anything.

Now finding himself standing in a field of Crit-Boosted Scottish Resistance sticky-bombs and being soaked in Mad Milk, Christian could only drop his jaws and said "Ah, piss..."

Made even worse for the Sniper Freak when Fem-Medic and FC Medical decided to pop their Ubercharge on their respective teammates. Its hard to tell what effects the Medical's Ubercharge grants, but Fem-Medic's doesn't need to be questioned due to her using a Kritzkrieg medigun.

"Oktoberfest!" Fem-Medic announced like a maniac as she popped her Ubercharge.

"Give him some more hell!" Soldier and Fem-Soldier shouted an order at their team before firing their Crit-Boosted weapons.

"KaiHuo!" [Fire!] Rocket ordered his team in Chinese, and proceeds to do the same, while under the effects of the Chinese equivalent of the Ubercharge.

Although deploying an Ubercharge on so many people at the same time means that the charge wouldn't last more than a second, the remaining mercenaries made up for that by all firing their Crit-Boosted weapons at the exact same time (Demoman and Fem-Demo switched to their Scottish Resistance to prepare to detonate the field of Sticky-bombs right after firing their Loose Cannon; and unlike the Engineer's Sentry Gun, the Technician's Turret Gun can be Ubercharged by having its builder receiving an Ubercharge).

"Ah, piss..." Christian Brutal Sniper uttered as he watched the wall of Crit-Rockets, Crit-Grenades and many other projectiles coming his way, with absolutely no room for him to dodge.

...

Location: The Bridge, NEW Team's Carrier Airship.

_Christian Brutal Sniper was blown up by RED Soldier. Mercenaries win!_

The simulated announcer's voice broadcasted the defeat of Christian Brutal Sniper all the way from the Mann Co Marketplace to the bridge of the Carrier Airship.

"Blimey... I'm guessing that Australia's answer to Jack The Ripper isn't coming back to you anytime soon." Sailor pointed out for Gray Mann, who is currently seated on the throne-like chair in the middle of the bridge.

_"Of course not."_ Gray gave a straightforward response in his Mann Of Conspiracy tone.

"You know..." Mage decided to cut in. "The part where a minion gets executed by his boss or refuses to come back after failing a mission is kind of an overdone cliché..."

Recon nudged the British magician with his left hand. "That may be exactly why the Cupcake Freak has not returned."

Inflictor was about to speak to Gray, but then decided against it once she notices from behind the throne-like chair that the Mann Of Conspiracy's cybernetic hand is gripping onto the hand rests of the chair tightly enough that it partially crumbled, indicating that he is really angry about what had just happened. "_Amigos_, let us all excuse ourselves while _Senor_ Mann releases his steam." The Spanish female mercenary suggested to her fellow NEWs. "I would compare him to a steam boiler that is about to blow..."

Taking Inflictor's suggestion into account, the NEWs swiftly evacuated themselves from the bridge, with Striker being the last to step out of the room and close the door behind him.

* * *

**Afterwords**

Sorry for making the Christian Brutal Sniper boss fight so anti-climatic. Not only is this chapter taking way too much time to write, my schedule for the next week or so is way too tight for me to do anything on Fanfiction Dot Net, so I have to wrap up the fight ASAP.

So all in all, let's get this chapter's Afterwords wrapped up as quickly as possible, shall we?

Christian Brutal Sniper's building a machine gun out of FC Technician's Turret Gun isn't really something I made up on the spot. Its a reference to his hobby where he would MacGyver up a weapon from random junk, which was demonstrated in many G-Mod animations that featured him.

No Shout-outs in this chapter.

That is all. _"Poot Punchline here..."_


	12. Chapter 11: The Cannibal Was Right

**Forewords**

Last time on _Mann Of Conspiracy_: the eponymous villain is revealed to be Gray Mann, having cybernetic implants installed onto him following his defeat in the story's prologue. Gray then sends in Christian Brutal Sniper to take out the REDs, FREDs and Final Combatants. The mercenaries prevail and beats the Sniper Freak in a Freak Fortress battle.

That concludes the plot summarization up to this point.

Also, this chapter won't have much combat in it. So don't expect any big-bada-booms in it.

* * *

**Chapter 11: The Cannibal Was Right**

Time: 1400 Hour; 3rd of July, 2015.

Location: Command Center, Gravel Outpost.

"This is worse than I thought!" Soldier announced to his teammates angrily. "Turns out the NEWs' boss was Gray Mann, and he planned for all this to happen since we beat the crap out of him and his robot army 50 years ago!"

Nobody present spoke a word, even Scout and Fem-Scout. The REDs, FREDs and Final Combatants knew letting the WW2 veteran finish his rant is a better idea than interrupting him at any given moment.

Soldier's rant went on for quite a while before he cooled down. "Christian Brutal Sniper had managed to shut his trap for the entire duration of the torture session, so we've hit yet another dead end."

Still, nobody said a word.

"If anyone have a suggestion or two, spit it out." The WW2 veteran tries to break the silence without unintentionally intimidating his teammates. "The only skull I'll be cracking is that Sniper Freak currently locked in our basement, and only if he doesn't tell me what I need to know."

It was Rocket who spoke up. "If he won't tell you what you need to know, then let him tell you what _he_ wants you to know."

Soldier thought of that suggestion for a while, then...

"Reverse psychology. That might work..."

...

Location: Basement, Gravel Outpost.

Christian Brutal Sniper was tied up on the same chair that Painis Cupcake was tied to days ago. Only unlike the cannibal Soldier Freak, the black-clad Sniper Freak is also duct taped to that chair in such a way that he resembled a mummy with his head being the only exposed part of him. Said chair is also welded to the floor board which has since been replaced with a metallic one. The same hole that Christian broke Painis out of is not only boarded up, but covered with electrified barb wires too, with the barb wires extending all over the walls and floors of the room.

And it seems that both Engineer and Fem-Engineer still doubt the effectiveness of such an anti-jailbreak measure. Christian had overheard one of the two Texans mentioning, "We're gonna need a bigger gear to move up." shortly after they've finished setting up the cell.

Having spent almost an entire hour in the makeshift prison with no way to break himself out, Christian Brutal Sniper just stared straight at the direction of the entrance, saying "Bloody whackjob..."

Christian then notices that a single person is approaching him from the entrance. That person is Soldier.

"I ain't going to tell you anything you want to know, mate!" The Sniper Freak taunted despite his current predicament.

Soldier seemingly respond to the taunt by throwing a punch at Christian's face, but the punch stopped short of Christian's nose before Soldier retracted his hand.

"I know that, maggot." The WW2 veteran told the Sniper Freak. "So tell me what you _want_ me to know..."

Christian scoffed. He had to admit, he did not see that coming. Its not very often an interrogator wants his prisoner to tell the former what the latter wants him to know.

"I'm waiting..." Soldier said. "If you have something to spit out, do it now."

Christian recalls the predicament Painis Cupcake found himself into after his defeat at the hands of the REDs: the cannibal Soldier Freak cannot show his face in front of the Mann Of Conspiracy anymore. The Sniper Freak knew that he's now in a similar situation as his friend.

Christian figured, since the end result is the same for him anyway, he might as well comply to this human's interrogation.

"I suppose you and your friends just learned that my employer, the Mann Of Conspiracy is actually Gray Mann himself. Am I right, mate?"

Soldier nodded. "Right on the spot, you numbskull. Now, go on..."

Christian continued his speech. "What I want you to know is that Gray Mann is not the same person you put down 50 years ago. Okay, maybe he's still the same in terms of being a hypocrite, but he's changed a lot since then. For starters: building a team of almost entirely original mercenaries instead of making robotic rip-offs of you and your buddies."

"Bull's eye..." Soldier thought. This is getting smoothly...for now.

Christian continued. "Secondly, that wanker plans _very far_ ahead with his plans. Why else would he give himself the alias 'Mann Of _Conspiracy_?"

Soldier became silent and completely motionless now. It was about half a minute before the WW2 veteran snapped out of it. "So that means we're still being played by him as you speak?"

"Yes..." The Sniper Freak answers. "I don't know who else he has in mind, but I do know that Gray's going to send more of my friends at you..."

Hearing that, Soldier ended the interrogation on the spot, and turned his back on Christian as he walked out of the basement half-running.

...

Location: The Bridge, NEW Team's Carrier Airship.

It was almost completely silent in the Bridge of the Carrier Airship.

Gray Mann was all alone, watching the recorded footage of the Freak Fortress game between the RED Mercenaries and Christian Brutal Sniper. Needless to say, the Mann Of Conspiracy was less than pleased, and the NEWs know that, which is why the almost-original mercenaries have evacuated themselves from their boss's vicinity.

But not entirely evacuated.

In the corridor just outside the Bridge, Recon had a directional microphone pointed at the currently closed bulkhead that led to the Bridge. The South Korean along with his multi-national teammates (excluding the North Korean Striker who seems to have excused himself to his quarters) were a tiny bit curious as to what their boss might plan to do next.

"I don't know, people... But blimey, was the captain really pissed..." Sailor gave his opinion on the directional microphone indicating that Gray Mann has suddenly gone into a ranting spree (with the digital undertone of his voice making it that much creeper).

Arsonist shook his head in response to the same thing.

"So, who dares to go in there and try to calm the boss down?" Alchemist asked everyone present.

The NEWs all gave the Irish magician the look. Alchemist wonder why he was given such a look before Mage blew him across the room with a Reflective Spell.

"No one is going in there, jarhead." Mage told Alchemist afterwards. "Not until he calms down."

With that settled, the NEWs nodded to each other in acknowledgement, and continued listening in to Gray's ranting spree from behind the closed bulkhead.

...

Location: Command Center, Gravel Outpost.

By the time Soldier got back to the Command Center, over half of the Mercenaries have excused themselves elsewhere. The only people left other than the WW2 veteran are Fem-Soldier and Rocket. Although his teammates' attendance is not his primary concern at the moment.

"It worked, alright..." Soldier told Rocket. "I've managed to make him spill out what I needed."

"So, what have you learned?" Rocket asked.

"That Sniper Freak said that Gray Mann is a lot smarter than he was 50 years ago." Soldier relayed to his Chinese friend. "He spent all those times planning on the best way to kick our collective asses, and still is right now. And as established with Engie's previous findings on the NEW Team, Gray was the one who orchestrated half of every conspiracy fuel to have ever happened in the past 50 years, including the missing plane that was never found."

"So that means to defeat Gray for good, we're gonna have to outsmart him and the NEW numbskulls, right?" Fem-Soldier cuts in. "I guess that cannibal, Painis Cupcake was right when he said you have no idea what you are getting yourself into..."

"Yes." Soldier replies. "But he has half a century worth of headstart with him, not to mention having a team that have already beaten the crap out of every single one of us." He then turns toward Rocket. "Sun Tzu was the master of the art of war. What will he suggest if he was here today?"

"If Sun Tzu was here today..." Rocket thought of the answer to that question for a while...

..."A while" in this case seemed like five whole minutes...

...Before the Chinese mercenary has an idea bulb popping up in his mind.

"If Sun Tzu was here today, he would tell us to make Gray Mann think he's winning, and have him let his guard down before we go show him and his dogs what we are capable of."

"Yes!" Soldier and Fem-Soldier both cheered, before the former pulled a Shotgun from out of nowhere and fired a blank from it.

"Taking down the enemy's leader is the ideal, but capturing his lieutenant first can make it potentially easier." Rocket added.

Soldier became serious upon hearing that additional part. "And the lieutenant in this case is someone I have personal businesses with..."

The WW2 veteran cocked his Shotgun once.

"...And his name... is Park Joseon - The Striker..."

* * *

**Afterwords**

Here, we learned that Gray Mann, the titular Mann Of Conspiracy has much more being planned for Mann Co and the REDs. What else does he have up his sleeves? And will Soldier settle his personal vendetta against Striker?

The missing plane that was mentioned near the end of this chapter, as well as a few chapters ago... I think we all know which plane we were referring to...

Like I said, no combat scenes in this chapter. Man, the Writer's Block is getting bigger and heavier as time goes by...

Which reminds me... I should probably take a shot or two at updating _Meet The NEW Team_ and/or _NEW Team's Loadout_. Those are shorter and much easier to work with...

No Shout-outs in this chapter.

That is all... _"Punchline goin' up..."_


	13. Important and Unfortunate Announcements

**Announcements**

I'm sorry to say this, but I don't think I can continue updates to _Mann Of Conspiracy_.

I have three other stories to update at the same time, plus that I now have a relative on FanFiction Dot Net who I will be devoting a fraction of my time to help him write his stories. After all that, my mind went totally blank and everything related to _Mann Of Conspiracy_ got erased from it.

I'm telling you right now so that you don't have to wait for an update that is never coming.

I'm terribly sorry, but **UPDATES TO THIS STORY WILL BE POSTPONED INDEFINITELY**.

Thank you for all the Reviews and Follows. It has been a pleasure writing for the _Team Fortress 2_ community.


End file.
